I am having such a tricky time off things at home. My boyfriends insists on munching away on crisps, kebabs, pizzas and chocolate! He knows how hard I am trying to lose weight, and how much I want to. Im sure he does it on purpose to make me try and give it.
I have a drawer full of chocolate I was bought for Christmas. I am never going to eat it. He sat and munched away at it last night when we were in bed. The smell was making me have so many bad cravings.
My weight loss has died down. I am still exercising for an hour a day (running). When I am a bit slimmer I want to go to the swimming baths a couple of days a week, im not sure I could let any one see me in a bathing suit the way I am at the moment.
Having being big all my life I am now really determined to make the change. Fair enough I have bad days and good days, but I truley hope that I stick it out and that by the summer I am the weight I want to be.
It must be so hard to have a partner who's not supportive! Is there any way you can talk to him about it?
What about meals together? Do you do the cooking or does he? Can you somehow arrange it so that you make meals so that you know there won't be any pizzas and kebabs around? I know that since I started doing Weight Watchers again I have pretty much done all the cooking so that I can get my boyfriend used to the fact that pizzas and chinese (for example) - except on the odd occasion - are now a thing of the past. He knows that losing weight and becoming more healthy is important to me and I want to show him that "dieting" can also be really tasty.
I really think you need to have a heart to heart with him - maybe he's also afraid that you are going to lose weight and look so da*m hot that he'll lose you? It's not uncommon for partners to have their own fears and anxieties about it as well.
Best of luck to you and if you need any advise on how to talk to him about it, I'm SURE there are plenty of people here who can help you out
Its just so discouraging for him to be like he is though. I want to do this for myself, nto for anyone else. He has always sed he prefers larger gals (at my largest I was 15stone). I dont think hed really love me any less if i was smaller. Im 12 and half stone now. Looking to be 11 or possibly 10, I'll see what I feel like when I get there.
Its a constant battle. Things would be easier if he followed the same life style too and didnt insist on eating junk food all the time. Sorry, im whinging a bit! :P
Throw out the chocolate. Why let him eat "a drawer full" while you are in bed next to him and he knows you are trying so hard? If it is yours, you have the right to throw it away.
You may not be able to control some of the other things, but you don't have to allow someone to abuse you and YES this is abuse. If he had any sort of compassion at all he would eat it in the other room away from you. Is he trying to make you give up? If so why would he do that?
Sometimes when we start losing weight our partners feel threatened like you are doing it so you can attract some other man or something. Reassure him that isn't the reason you want to be thinner, and then talk to him about being more supportive. If it comes down to it, take drastic action.
I agree with what's been said. When I started cooking healthier meals, my fiance was supportive of it. I am the one with the bad snacking habit so he doesn't usually snack bad things around me. He now actually eats my sugar free pudding snacks when he wants something sweet in the evenings, and he doesn't buy lots of bad food to stash around.
Could be your boyfriend is being insecure (that seems a common concern of guys whose significant others are losing weight), or ignorant, or somewhat selfish. Just sit down and have a talk with him. Even if he doesn't have a weight problem himself, there's no reason he can't eat a little healthier. And if that chocolate you got is YOURS than throw it out! If I have snacks in the house I'm way too tempted to eat them (be they bad chocolate, or I'll even go on a binge with low-calorie granola bars). Sometimes out of sight is out of mind, and he should understand that. If he has chocolate/pizza/kebab quotas he needs to meet every day perhaps he can eat those when you two are not together
I guess it's nice to know that he likes you just as you are... but part of who you are is a woman who is not happy with herself as she is, and wants to improve. He really needs to respect that, and if he can't help you, to at least try to stop hurting you.
Yes, it would be easier if your boyfriend were sensitive BUT....
You are ultimately responsible for what goes into your mouth. Not your boyfriend, not your friends, not the tempting fast food place on the corner. The unfortunate fact is that losing weight and keeping it off is a series of lifelong choices, one meal or snack at a time. There will always be temptation. If it weren't your boyfriend eating chocolate it would be something else. Sad, but true. So, it is up to you to make the right choices.
I was the only overweight person in my family. It used to irritate me (okay, okay, it made me ANGRY) when my husband would load his plate at dinner and I'd sit there with a what seemed like the tiniest portion ever. Or, when we'd watch TV and he'd munch away while my mouth watered. Then it occurred to me. Who am I to tell him how he should eat just because I can't control myself around food? How fair would it be for me to tell him he can't eat chocolate just because I can't eat chocolate? That doesn't mean he wasn't being supportive. Insensitive, maybe, but not unsupportive. So, go ahead and talk to him and see if your boyfriend would be willing to stop snacking in front of you. If he agrees, great. But still remember that when it is all said and done you have to make the decision to eat properly for your health regardless of your environment. And you know what I found out? That even if my husband DIDN'T eat like crazy in front of me I STILL had the urge to eat junk and that urge was just as strong as when he was eating in front of me. So, I could blame him all day long for making my situation harder but, in the end, it was MY demon I was fighting, not HIS.
Here's the good news. I stuck it out and it got easier. I can barely stand to see someone load there plate with a ton of food. It just looks gross to me. I can hardly stand to be near a fast food place because the smell is overpowering and disgusting. Yes, I still have days that I want to overeat or crave junk. But for the very most part the desire just isn't there anymore. If I do give in I always feel sick. And I don't mean I feel guilty about making a bad food choice. I mean I feel physically sick. The food is NEVER as good as I remembered it being and feeling full is NEVER as satisfying as it used to be. Just hang in there. You can do it.
I am having such a tricky time off things at home. My boyfriends insists on munching away on crisps, kebabs, pizzas and chocolate! He knows how hard I am trying to lose weight, and how much I want to. Im sure he does it on purpose to make me try and give it.
Sometimes your best support is yourself. You will have to find away to enjoy your meals and snacks differently from your boyfriend and ignore everything that he is doing.
I had to learn this the hard way because I have a family member (my dad) who thinks I should be able to lose weight by the snap of the finger and if he doesn't see results at the end of the week, then I am not on a diet that is working. Which agitates me when he is around. It is even harder now every since my mom died an I had wonder time to time it is no wonder she was so depressed at times. at the same time when you go and have a family meal he pile his plate up with food but watch what you put on your plate and even if it is a table spoon of cheese to put over broccoli a comment comes up, should that really be on your plate?
My dads way of diet is, he can have a slice a cake you can't. Pretty awesome thinking huh. If you are fat you can't be having cake, steak, anything sugar at all, no cheese, just soup and diet shakes and oh yea there better be a significant change at the end of the week with your weight and looks.
HE HAS NO CLUE!!!!
You see if I based everything on my dads thought or anyone else. I would never lose weight.
I purely decided I wanted to lose weight for my self.
My weakness is when people like my dad tares my feelings down and make me mad; I just want to go grazing on chocolate for a while. This is the weakness I am working with now that I have got to get myself out of.
Like here lately, I am reminded how I fail with my own accounts and since I had made this one small mistake with my money, my dad wants my name off of all his accounts and including the account that I inherited from my mother. This error could of easily happen to him. It wasn't a big loss it isn't even a loss yet, but my dad has lost more money buying women since my mom died and it is just horrible!! The family estate is already in danger to being lost.
I have a drawer full of chocolate I was bought for Christmas. I am never going to eat it. He sat and munched away at it last night when we were in bed. The smell was making me have so many bad cravings.
throw it away!!! It is your chocolates, you bought it, get rid of it. Take a vowl with yourself and say you are starting a new life and you don't need this much chocolate in the house. I am not saying give up chocolate but a drawer full of chocolate is pretty dangerous.
My weight loss has died down. I am still exercising for an hour a day (running). When I am a bit slimmer I want to go to the swimming baths a couple of days a week, im not sure I could let any one see me in a bathing suit the way I am at the moment.
Having being big all my life I am now really determined to make the change. Fair enough I have bad days and good days, but I truley hope that I stic
it out and that by the summer I am the weight I want to be.
We all have those days. We all fall off the wagon some harder then others. I'm a prime example!!!
I will change!!!
I had prove to myself that I did once
I can do it again.
You will to!!!!
Don't forget though, I know some people needs support but when you can't get it from one person, it is good to find another to talk about it. So if you have a cousin, aunt, friend, or come to this board cause you have plenty of people here that would listen. I known that from the past about this board.
i'm here to support others as well to recieve suport. I had share here actually two things. Just know that our problems may be a little different but sort of the same. SO, if anyone has any advice on how to deal with my bruise ego!!! would love to hear it!
The first time I lost weight, using Weight Watchers, I went through this big time. I was trying to learn how to count points, and hubby was making pizza and mac n' cheese. I finally caved and ate half the pizza Then hubby joined WW with me and it was great. We turned it into a kind of competition.
This time I'm doing it alone, but feel stronger. I hope you can find the inner strength to set your boundries. Planning ahead seems to be helping me a lot.
Lay down the law. No chocolate in bed. He can do what he wants in the living room or dining room, but no food anywhere else in the house, then if he is munching you can go away from him elsewhere in the house.
Swim woman!!!! If I can swim at 19 stone (I looked lovely!!!) then you can, you skinny thing. Heck I am still 14 stone now, and I swim three times a week.
No one is going to lose this weight for you, start having a bit of self worth, and just do it.
My partner was a nightmare when I started, but he got with the programme eventually, when he realised I meant business, and now he is pretty fabulous (except he does the "should you be eating that" routine which annoys me, but hey ho, he's pretty perfect most of the time)
Im just going to do it by myself. I have no one to thank or blame then. Ive had a bad week, not lost anything. got me down a bit, but hey, ill start next week as a fresh!
No support at home
hugs to everyone!!!
Then hubby joined WW with me and it was great. We turned it into a kind of competition.
