What are you looking for, here at 3FC?
 

The other day Suzanne asked what we want for support from our friends and family. That got me to thinking about what we want from each other.
What is support? encouragment? instruction? direction? empathy? a kick in the pants? a gently nudge down a better path?

What are you looking for?
What did you find?
Any difference between the two?

I was looking for support, information, a place to ask questions (and hopefully answer some too) and a place to share successes and frustrations. I found them all. :)

I come here for motivation and information. Motivation is best type of support for me.

Hi susan....I came here just looking for any advice or just plain help. I don't have a really supportive family...in fact I am the fat person of the family and they just don't get it? Here everyone understands it seems. I have only been here a few days now and you guys have been so wonderful. This forum is really I think one of the best support systems out there for me at least...esspecially in my situation. One of the things I like about this is the encouragement and honesty. And people answer you! LOL Sometimes you go to a forum for weight loss or advice and you get no replies..here someone is willing to offer inspiration and help. Plus it really helps you stay focused....like a place that keeps you checked in..if you know what I mean. I am very happy I found this site!
Hope everyone has a good day!

michelle

Lookin for the support that I dont get at home...No one knows better how hard it is than the people who are going through what you are.

Looking for a place to share and stay accountable. I love hearing that others are going through what I am and I love success stories. I like the feeling that I am part of a community of winners!

Karma

Motivation. Information. To share knowledge. To vent if need be knowing someone will listen. To give advice and receive it in return. To know I'm not alone out there. And it's nice knowing I have a support group when I need it :)

How about "D, all of the above"?

I've started coming to this board more and more. For various reasons, depending on the day and my mood.

It's a HUGE help and I'm quite grateful for it.

I come for help, motivation, and sometimes a kick in the rear. :-) Most of my friends are naturally thin, and by that I mean they have never even thought about a diet, so they totally dont get my frustrations. People get it here, and keep me going! :-)

I'm a pretty reserved person, even though I'm outgoing. I find it difficult to talk about my problems with people in "real life", even my closest friends and family (or maybe *especially* them). Going to the dietician has been a lifeline for me in this way, but I need more than that and I can get it here. I am also inspired by everyone here and how hard we all are working at this. :)

Accountability mostly but an added benefit is motivation from all the people who have stayed on track and have seen/are seeing the results!:)

When i joined 3FC a year ago, all I wanted was information and advice about how a 262lb fat, desperate, unfit individual was meant to move her body and get the weight off.

I thought I would be here, oh 5 days to learn a bit and move on. What I didn't expect was to find inspiration, encouragement and friendship, not to mention IRL running buddies.

3FC has been the difference between success and failure for me. When I joined I never knew that people of my weight, and above, had lost weight naturally and kept it off. I have been given so much love, support and confidence, that if I can give a bit of that back, I will be a happy camper!

Support, motivation, and ideas. I am pretty shy IRL, and have a hard time meeting people just as friends, much less meeting people I feel close enough to to confide in. I am much more outgoing and honest about my feelings in this forum and have *met* some really nice people.

Without a doubt, I never would have lost the weight and kept it off without 3FC.

I've been a member here forever (probably around 1997) -- I'm #1619 out of some 48,000 registered members. I remember re-registering at least once before 1999 in a server change, so I go way, way back to the prehistoric days of 3FC. :lol:

Until 2001, I was a big, fat diet failure. I started and quit a hundred diets, gained and lost at least 100 pounds. But I still came here just about every day and read and learned and never gave up my dream.

Once I finally got it right and lost the weight in 2001-2002, I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to keep the weight off. No one talks about or writes about maintenance! Everyone who I knew in Real Life who had lost a lot of weight gained it back and I was lost and scared.

And then I meet MrsJim here, who's lost 115 pounds and kept it off for 15+ years. She showed me that it IS possible to maintain a large weight loss and yes, it DOES get easier over time. Thank you, Karen! :hug:

A few years ago, Mel, MrsJim and I asked the chicks for a forum devoted to maintenance and the Maintainers Forum was born. We're one of the few places you'll find on the Internet that focuses on weight loss maintenance and I couldn't be prouder of all the wonderful success stories - both big and small - that we have here at 3FC.

3FC is still my lifeline. I log on first thing every morning with a cup of coffee. :D I still - and always will - need the support, encouragement, and friendships that this priceless site has given to me. :grouphug:

My family isn't all that supportive of my wanting to lose weight... which is surprising considering that all of the ones that I live with are overweight. My mom continues to bake cookies and cakes a couple times a week... sweets are my BIGGEST weekness, especially cookies. My brother and father don't get what all the fuss is about.

So to be able to come here and see people JUST LIKE ME, who actually want to lose weight and are willing to work hard to do that... it's an inspiration to me. I feel inspired to reach my goals. And I know, I KNOW that if I start to get off track, there will be people there to kick me in the butt and say "Yo, you know you shouldn't be doing that. You know you can do better." Sometimes that's all I need to get going again.

There's nothing about 3FC that I don't like, and I couldn't possibly add anything to what all these other fine people have written, I only wish I found this site 1 1/2 years ago, then maybe I wouldn't have re-gained 25 pounds... I love this site, I can come here when there's no where else to go....I just found this site by accident, I was looking for something on the net to motivate me, and bam!!! I found it, I love it, and have logged on here everyday since I've joined, I actually look forward to it.....

Can somebody pass the Kleenex?? :lol: I can't describe what 3FC as a whole means to me. My weight would have gone the other direction without the support and knowledge that I have gained here. This site has always been very important to me and my sisters, but it is because of you that it is a passion for us.

The main reason I come here is for..

Motivation: to see that it can be done!

Education: Learn new ways of exercising and being healthy.

Support: Friends to encourage me on my journey and celebrate my victories with me.

Accountability: A support group that will hold me accountable for my actions but give me the support I need when I slip up.

Im looking for support, advice and encouragement. Its hard to do this alone. And Ive tried to do it alone and it dont work.

The biggest thing I was looking for (and found) was understanding. My skinny friends can support me, and my unfit family can offer advice, but until you've been 100+ overweight, I don't think you really understand how someone in that position feels. Those with 10 or so pounds to lose who have never had to shop in the plus-size section have never felt the shame, disgust, and downright hopelessness of someone who can barely even fit into a plus size anymore! I came here and found people in similar positions, and they have helped me immensely.

One thing I have noticed about 3FC that differs from both real life and other websites is that those who have 300 pounds to lose are just as welcomed and supported as those who have 30 pounds to lose, ya know? EVERYONE here seems to have some helpful advice and suggestions, and everyone is always willing to offer it with a hug or a smile :^:

And, as Meg pointed out, the Maintainers does seem to be a unique aspect of 3FC as compared to other weight loss sites. They have such a wealth of expertience, knowledge, and advice that I think their presence here really helps the board as a whole.

I'm also particularly fond of the 20s group here. Other sites have 20-somethings who all have maybe 20 pounds to lose, so they reach goal in a matter of months (if not weeks). Here, though, there is a network of supportive 20-somethings, many of whom have either already lost a lot of weight or who still have a long way to go, and it's great to have that age group's understanding. Not saying I don't love all of the other ladies here, but being only in your 20s (or teens!) and being obese beings a lot more pressure in some cases, and it's nice to have those who can really relate to the fact that I haven't "let myself go" or gained weight from having kids--I'm young and ALREADY have this problem! :devil:

So I guess, now that I think about it, one thing I really LOVE is the separate groups. I love the 100+ to lose chicks, the 20-somethings, the 300+ ladies, the maintainers--and I LOVE how we can all still come together in these support threads and aren't afraid to poke around in other sections of the board as well. It's such an open community, and no one is restricted to a single group.

Okay, I think I'm done...for now :dizzy:

All of the above! I really need the support and encouragement - for someone to believe I can do this even when I don't believe it myself. And most of all, I need the accountability, people who are going to check up on me and keep me in line :) The information and resources posted here are invaulable as well.

Oh my yes, pass the kleenex!! I love this site too. If it weren't for logging on here daily to get my fix I'd be lost ... The motivation, inspiration, hints, just to name a few are priceless. Before joining I thought I was doomed to being a size 14 because, just because I was 40 :rolleyes:... Now I know better because I am where I want to be and it's all because I have met older women like Meg and Mel :hug:!!

Thank you SusanB for starting this thread...

AND

:hug::hug::hug: one hug for each sister chick!!

I'm a bit frustrated this week. I don't understand something and I want to verrry badly. What is motivation? When someone posts and says they have no motivation what can I give then? What are they looking for? What can I say? What can I do?

How about these three wise posts by Funniegrrl on motivation - or why 'motivation' is irrelevant. :)

I was looking for...
 

...support mostly. Information, ideas, help with the details.

As far as motivation goes, I think thats something that has to come from within. I really do. People can talk at you all day long, but unless you're ready to "hear" it, it won't help a bit.

I was ready to hear, and Susan, YOU, as a matter of fact, said something to me that snapped me out of a funk and got me moving. "Eat clean and move." I was ready to receive a message, and you sent it.

SO, thanks. That's what I came here for. :)

Oh get the tissue back out!

I'll go read Meg. Thanks to both of you.

I came here mostly for accountability. That's what works for me. However, I've been finding much more. :)

I came here looking for help. What to do to get my weight loss started. I am always looking for new ideas that might fit with my lifestyle. I definately found them.

I find encouragement from reading that other people who weigh less than me and people who weigh more than me and people who weigh the same as me, have done it or are doing it. It lets me know, it can be done.

I came here with a long term goal of september, but have learned to make mini goals.

I just love this site. It is so informative, so supportive, so encouraging and so friendly, i just can't seem to leave it. I am here about 8 hours a day. I love it. :)

I have some ask me at work "How did I lose it" They want to start the same way I have...but when I explane it to them they all have a reason not to do what I have...it is all come from within. If you wnat it bad enought you go out and get it no matter what it takes!! I have gotton so much from this site. I will never stop reading and posting I really think this site is how I have lasted this long. It has keep me going. I tell everyone who asked me "how" That I could not have done it with all of yall. I count all of you as my friends.

I want to thank all of you....

ps Sorry for any misspelling My contacks are giveing me a fit today.

First of all I came here looking for information. I remember the site that linked here (I've not been back to that site much tho ;) ). I remember that I was seriously starting to try again after "just eating less" and just moving a little bit more was starting to wear thin! I needed a little bit of a shove in the right direction, to start counting calories again (which is what I did back when I joined).

So I started off counting calories and posting my weekly weigh-ins and how much I exercised :blah:

But now I use this place for a whole lot more than somewhere to tell you guys how much I weigh! I've learned from the ladies who lift, more about weight training than I ever thought I would. I used to think lifting heavy on machines and restricting my calories would cut it! I now know about protein and the quality of your food and how important it is to eat healthily and well and not eat :censored: fish fingers for 2 out of 3 meals! :rofl:

I love this place so much and that I can come and tell you that I'm "normal" for the first time in my life :D And I love the fact that you guys KNOW how much that means and what a great thing it is. Rather than being told, "I know, you're a healthy bun!" (DF). Yeah I know I'm healthy and I know another 2 lbs or whatever down on the scale is no real biggie, but COME ON! It's a MAJOR thing. It's taken 23 years and even if BMI is whack and the charts aren't accurate and maybe the scales aren't either... It's the psychological thing. You guys understood why I had a misty moment that morning, but no-one else did.

:cry: I can be accountable (as much or as little as I want) to you, I can rant and rage, even if no-one else wants to hear it. Even if it's the most stupid thing in the world, you guys understand. I can come here instead of eating junk food - it's better than a bag of crisps any day!

I love that there are intelligent and warm and funny women (and men) here that can cheer me along and see my point of view. I read this site for entertainment and for company and for wierd recipes. If you'd told me at age 12 that in 11 years time I'd weigh less and eat fried cottage cheese with egg whites and oats most days I would've thought you were off your rocker! :rofl: Some days I do think I'm off my rocker!

I'm glad I can come here and BE a little bit obsessive. Like telling you EXACTLY how many protein grams I ate yesterday :crazy: when no-one IRL really gives a toss! :lol: I love the fact that it will be celebrated that I resisted a chocolate or that I only had half a pizza!

And I love the fact that I've met so many special friends here, some of whom are spilling over into "real life" running buddies (you know who you are!). If I could invite you all to a party - I truly would! :D

I think one of the greatest things about 3FC is the fact that everyone using the forum has been in or is in the same situation. People that have been there give advice support and tells us what has worked for them, whereas people that are currently there can ask questions and get responces that make sense.

Im so glad I discovered this website (it was purely accidental), it has helped me loads.

Thanks for this thread Susan, this is great!

I like that there are so many different kinds of people here, and everyone is so accepting. People are here of all different weights, at all different parts of the journey, with so many different goals. There are people who are just learning, and so many more who you can learn from! These forums make me feel better when I am failing (someone is always posting what I'm thinking, so it doesn't necessarily have to be a thread about me) and when I think I'm doing really good I get a new idea and think, hey, I can do better!

2F, I've got goose-bumps from reading your post :hug:... This place does the same for me too...

humbly bumping.

Please pass the kleenex....
 

I just came here looking for recipes....I hadn't even checked out a forum ever before. And what a forum it is!! :carrot:
Ya gotta love the sense of family in this place. Whodathunk the internet could support such a beautiful thing? Everyone is so giving of themselves - and where else can you go where someone else just posted exactly what you were about to say? A big thank you to MrsJim, Meg, Mel, and the other moderators - you provide untold amounts of inspiration and information.

I have a lot of special friends here - y'all know who you are, Jillian's Girls and my Biker Chick posse, and the beautiful ladies in calorie counters :wave: SusanB!! Thanks for everything.

And how the heck did I miss this thread before ???

When I first found this site I was totally frustrated with myself, my weight, and my life. I knew I needed to lose weight but had no motivation so I went online looking for some. I did a google on "weight loss success stories" and I found this site. When I saw what kind of place it was I was immediately drawn to it: real women who were also trying to lose weight and women who had already done it and maintaining. Then the day that changed my entire view of weight loss and healthy living. I saw the posts that Meg just linked to from funniegrrl. I suddenly understood why I was never successful at weight loss and everything became clear as day to me. Has it been easy? No. Have I still had slips and falls along the way? **** yes. But I was able to dust myself and get back to it a lot sooner because I knew I couldn't sit around waiting for motivation to show up again.

I really and truly appreciate this site and everything that it has to offer. I love the accountabiltiy, the words of wisdom, the support, the laughs and the tears. Thank you ladies...

Ah, the tears! I was crying again this morning over June's post about her friend. Where else can you go at 2 am and know someone cares enough to pray for you. It's so much more than weight loss.
It really is community, yes?

Did anyone else have a light-bulb moment over Meg's links about motivation?