We've all dealt with friends and family that don't really understand how to support us. Maybe they nag, maybe they say the wrong things. Maybe they leave buckets of candy on the coffee table, and encourage you to have 'just one'. They mean well, but they don't always get it.
If you could write a wish list of ways your family, friends, or coworkers could support you during your weight loss, what would you ask for?
For Christmas my boyfriend stuffed my stocking with protein bars and healthy goodies (SF reeses etc) instead of the normal junk and that was very thoughtful of him because he knows I have no restraint with sweet stuff.
Having a friend run with me a few times a week is a great support both physically and mentally because we get in a good work-out and a good chat afterwards while cooling down and stretching.
Instead of nagging, always focus on the positive. Compliments on progress are much better received than "are you sure you should be eating that?"
My fiance encourages me to eat healthy when I want to go off plan (i.e., drive to DQ and indulge for no good reason) and reminds me I was going to exercise if I was said I was going to. But he doesn't make any comments on my weight, or if I've lost or gained, or if I've gone on or off plan, just encourages my daily healthy changes. He also knows how hard it is for the both of us, so it is reassuring.
I wish my coworkers wouldn't talk about how I eat/work out at all. They occasionally like to comment on what I am or am not eating, in both positive and negative ways, and some have caught on to my walking at work. I don't like either coming from them as I don't appreciate that kind of attention at work, I don't think I focus on any other person's exercise or eating habits at work quite like that so it is a bit discouraging to have the attention at all.
I appreciate when my family offers to make dinner for me, and it is something healthy, or when if my mother or father buy goodies for themselves and they know I am trying to be good they will hide them from me. They know I will graze if I see it lying out so it is nice of them to just throw something away if they aren't going to eat it themselves.
How I would want others to support me:
--have my partner eat healthy with me (he's doing this!)
--encourage me when someone sees me doing something good
--not have any of my co-workers (with the exception of one) say anything about my weight or what I eat (this may happen because I work with all men and one woman)
--have my partner encourage me to go the extra mile (one more set, five more minutes, etc)
I always had that problem until a year ago. It's like my family decided to all get in shape and now i've gotten on the wagon. Seroiusly, they aren't too hard on the diet but since some of them are diabetics they gotta watch the sugar and now they watch the carbs too. It's much easier now. Before I would have told them (when I was trying and they just weren't supportive) that they need to hush up and get in line behind my way. Now I understand why when someone oin a weight loss show changes diet they end up getting their family on it too. It is the easier and best way. Alone is hard. I know from first hand experience.
I like friendly competition. Me and my MIL are both embarking on a weight loss journey and we both joined the gym at the same time. She goes earlier in the mornings than I do and I call and ask how her workout went. I'm always excited that each day she's able to do a little more and that gives me that extra push to do as much as she was able to do. Don't get me wrong, it's not like we are trying to one up each other, it's all in good fun and we are both already seeing results. I also like positive feedback, and this comes mostly from my DH. He'll make a comment like how proud he is how I'm going and working out instead of laying around the house, or instead of getting me chocolate from the store he'll bring me a diet soda and a magazine.
I really have no complaints in the support department.
The most helpful support that I had along the way (and continue to appreciate in maintenance) is a husband who is always willing to eat whatever I cook for dinner. He even learned new ways of cooking so he could make things I would eat. This is the boy who's previous repertoire was chicken cordon bleu, burgers and anything fried :P
And if he's craving something that I don't eat, he'll either have it when we're out for dinner, or make it for himself when I'm in one of my "I just want cereal for dinner" moods.
My DH is very supportive, and doesn't mind having to reach up on his tiptoes to get the peanut butter that I stored on the top shelf above the washing machine.
I do wish, however, that when we go out to dinner, he could refuse the chips or bread. He does put it down by his plate, if asked, but it would be easier for me if that stuff wasn't on the table. Since he needs to lose weight, too (his doctor wants him to), it would be a good thing, but he's got to want to do it, and I'm not going to make him.
I'd like the average conversation to be something like this ....
"Susan, have you lost weight?"
"Why, yes I have."
"Well, you look good."
"Thank you."
END OF CONVERSATION!
The best way for family and friends to support me would be to skip the "advice" when it's neither asked for nor accurate. For example, I did lose weight several years ago. (It found me again, unfortunately )Anyway, I can remember my mom and her friend asking me what I weighed, which was definitely still very overweight, and when I told them, they said I should not lose anymore.
Now, I suspect that some may think that this was done because of concern. No. I love my mom, butwhen she and her friend are together, they have that ability deliver disguised insults. This isn't just weight loss, but life in general.
Sheesh!! I am 41 and it still bugs me. How sad is that??
I wish that people wouldn't tell me that I "look fine". I may look fine, but I'm overweight!!
I wish that my housemates would change their eating habits along with me (last night we had fried wontons for dinner - nothing else, and despite my best intentions I chowed down). However, I feel this is unfair to ask of them.
I wish that my boyfriend wouldn't lie about being able to tell the difference in my body. He's trying to make me feel good, but in the end it makes me feel upset that he feels the need to fabricate results.
How do you want others to support you?
He even learned new ways of cooking so he could make things I would eat. This is the boy who's previous repertoire was chicken cordon bleu, burgers and anything fried :P
