I've been reading your posts and thinking about this commercial I see on TV all the time;I can't remember which product or Diet, it's a mother talking; "When your 5 year old tells you that you are FAT you KNOW it's the truth, yadyada, I sit in the car while my kids play sports so no one can see how fat I am"....
I think it's a terrible promotion and targets our denial about just how badly you can feel to rush right to them with your wallet open to stop the bad feelings.....
I can appreciate your not wanting your child to be teased....but hiding out is sending the wrong message about being proud of yourself and being so much more than what you weigh. You need to focus on things that are not centered around your weight.
YOu are fortunate enough to BE ABLE TO GO TO SCHOOL AND EAT LUNCH WITH YOUR CHILD....suppose you didn't have this opprotunity anymore? Would you regret it?
(I guess you can tell I was never able to do this because of my work schedule at that time....I would have jumped at the opportunity no matter how much I weighed!)
I just asked my son if he was ever teased about my weight. He said no (he's 15 now) I went lunch with him and volenteered for school parties you name it I was there. I was also his Cub Scout Leader then I went into being a Boy Scout Ast. Scoutmaster.(Still am) I have 2 nieces that have asked me to come eat lunch with them and help with parties. I have never been asked about my weight by a child but tell them honestly what your doing to help yourself be more healthy. I believe this could be a great learning process for everyone including your daughter. Kids grow way to fast have a talk with her your both really end up missing alot if you let weight stand in your way.
It wasn't until I was 26 I was teased about my mother's weight. I bought my mother Godiva chocolate for Xmas one year & my bf at the time asked who I bought the chocolate for - when I said my mother, his reply was "So that's whats wrong with her."
B@$T@RD!!!
How awful! If my husband ever said anything like that about my mom I'd divorce him.
I agree with the ones who posted you shouldn't stay at home. I mean, she kept wanting you to go and then BAM, she now doesn't because she's afraid of being teased. It tells your daughter if she isn't just like everyone else or like the norm, she should hide away. It tells you, you need to be ashamed of who you are and not WHAT you are.
I just hope it isn't the type of thing where your feelings don't matter and you feel guilty about being overweight. She'll be picked on sometime, somewhere ... it will have nothing to do with you. I was a room mother for years. I was thin, then I was overweight. I found the kids enjoyed me at all sizes because I enjoyed the kids. I didn't get hung up on my size.
xxxxxx I feel your pain because I weigh 220 right now and my 9 year old son makes comments about my weight sometimes. He is always comparing me to the women on TV and telling me I am pretty but would look better if skinnier. My ex just remarried and my son made the comment that his daddies new wife is skinny which really hurt. But I know that these are just observations he's making and he's not trying to hurt my feelings so this consoles me (somewhat). I just can't wait until I loose this weight not only for appearance sake but for my health. I never really thought about what I've been doing to myself everytime I've allowed myself to gorge out on comfort foods(because that's just what they are to me)but as I look in the mirror I'm disgusted. I can't live like this anymore,the self doubt, pity,ect. This is it! The first steps to my new life and I'm going to continue to climb until I reach my goal! I see that you've already lost weight which is major!Congrats!Just keep on keeping on......tomorrow is a new day!
Hi emndarmic.....OMG....girl....you JUST HAD A BABY!!! Dry up those tears and go a little easy on yourself!!! You have done so well since the birth of your baby, and as you say.....it was an innocent comment from your daughter BUT that certainly wouldn't hold me back from having lunch with her. I do think you need to give her something to practice saying, if any of her friends give her a hard time though....sort of like a mini role playing. Nothing wrong in giving her positive role modeling, and besides....she'll be the lucky one who's Mom comes and the other little friends mom's don't!!! I go about 1x a week to have lunch with my son, and hardly any other moms go. Hold your head up, and even take the baby......makes a nice outing for you both to look forward too!!!
As the fat Mommy in my kids classes...well I just decided..i would be the FUN mommy. So i volunteered for recces and just played wiht them. yeah once inawhile I get the comments...but NO other mommy is out there playing kick ball and soccer and doing goofy stuff. They are are too scared to get their hair wet.
But I really am very much in awe..that you took inot consideration your girl's feelings...it is so tough being teased...but now..you will be on this diet and you will lose..but never ever be ashamed of who you are. I would rather be fat and mean anyday. Compassion has no weight limit.
Wow, is this something I can relate to. My son was 8 years old when I found out he had been telling all of his friends that I was his nanny not his mom. I was a dayhome provider and one of the kids I looked after asked me if I could ask Bob's mom if he could go and play at his house. When I said I am Bob's mom he said no your not your his nanny. I was crushed and cried about it for a few days. My son is now 19 and has told me that he just couldn't take all the teasing and the names the other kids called me so he just said I was his nanny. That was 11 years ago now and I still haven't got the weight off. But I am ready to do it now and I will be able to play with my grandkids in the future.
Two things I hold on to now are "Live Strong" and "No Excuses" everytime I think about wanting something extra to eat I focus on those two mottos and it really helps.
I won't say whether you should eat at school with your daughter, that is a difficult decision you have to make alone. But I will stand by you pound by pound and cheer you on and hold your hand and listen when you need to vent.
I know we all can succeed and we will when the time is right for us. My time is now and I will cheer for everyone else who is trying each and every day.
I work at my daughter's school, she's 8, supervising the kids during lunch and recess. I also am the PTA room parent for her class. I have never experienced anything negative as far as comments from the kids or my daughter. They have grown to know me and respect me as a mom and I honestly don't think they pay attention to my weight.
While I completely understand your hesitation to go to lunch with your daughter I agree with the majority on this one, you really should do it. I think once you did and once your daughter could see that there really wouldn't be focus on that you could go forward and enjoy many lunches together in the future. Kid's are honest, yes, but I also think at this age kids are more likely to be considerate of other's feelings. You daughter is more honest with you than kids that don't know you would be since she knows your love for her is unconditional no matter what she says to you.
I hope you are able to work this out so you can enjoy the time with your daughter. Show her that spending time together is much more important than the opinions of others, or worrying about what other's opinions may be for that matter.
I feel your pain!
