I first want to thank everyone who gave me motivation to get up and go to the class.
I did end up gong to a kickboxing class and stayed for 20 minutes before I left in tears. The pace of the class was perfect, but the moves were so complex, it seemed like everyone in the class but myself knew exactly what they were doing.
But, I left. I felt like a failure as I was walking to my car in tears, why couldn't I do it as well as all those skinny people in there? I started getting really depressed, mad at myself for letting myself get as big as I am. I decided when I got home I would just go to sleep until tomorrow and skip dinner, because I didn't deserve to eat because I couldn't finish that class, I failed.
And then I caught myself. I'm not going to do that to myself anymore, I'm too good to let myself think like that. What would going home and sleeping do? Not a thing.
I called the gym and told them that I was in the kickboxing class earlier but it was too complex and were there any easier classes where I could learn the moves before it was all incorporated into a fast-paced setting. He told me all the classes were about the same and the only thing to do was continue going and try to memorize the moves (like everyone else in the class had to do).
I decided since I only got 20 minutes of exercise, I would take a bike ride when I got home. I did. I went on a bike ride for almost an hour. Not only did I get in exercise for the day, I got a lot of frustration out that I felt from the class. I am so glad I went, not only because I got over my fear, but because I came to a huge realization about everything.
That's why this is only kind of a bad experience.
I am not a failure. No one who gets in gear to do something they're afraid to do is a failure. No one who is trying to change their life for the better is a failure. No one who is trying to improve theirself is a failure. No one who tries is a failure.
Don't get discouraged, no matter what happens. Whatever you set your mind to you can accomplish. Don't let anything get in the way of reaching your goals.
Sounds like you did an extraordinary job of picking yourself right back up and not letting frustration get the better of you. Way to go!!! I can really identify with your situation, except when I was in your shoes I gave up and felt like a failure. You are absolutely right, changing habits and working towards a new lifestyle is success in and of itself, setbacks notwithstanding.
One suggestion I wanted to throw your way is to see if anyone else wants to take the class with you. If you know anyone at the gym, or have seen another lost soul, LOL you might see if they want to do it with you. That way you'll both be lost and it will help with the self conscious feeling. You are right, it's only a matter of time before you learn the moves and are kicking serious butt!
Good for you - you did a great job of regrouping and handling the situation. If you enjoyed the class other than not having the moves down, though, don't give up on it just yet. The person from your gym that you spoke with is right - NOBODY showed up at the class for the first time and knew what they were doing.
If you do decide to keep the classes up, I have one suggestion. DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT ANYONE ELSE IS DOING! We all too often compare ourselves to others. I know I did it the first time I took a step class. Guess what I figured out? The reason I was having trouble getting the moves was because I wasn't watching the instructor and paying attention to what I was doing. Nope, I was too busy watching the skinny girl in front of me thinking, "why can't I be HER?"
What I did next was one of the hardest things I've ever done - but it worked. The next class I attended I took my spot right at the front, behind the instructor. It was much easier to see what she was doing without having to rely on watching her in the mirrors (which always got me confused anyway). It felt weird because I was front and center and I felt like everyone was looking at the cow at the front of the class. When I got the nerve to look around, to my surprise, nobody even seemed to notice I was there. Nope, they were too busy trying to keep up themselves.
Another suggestion is to call back and talk to the person who manages the class schedules. There may not be an "easier" class, but there are surely some that are less crowded than others. You may feel more confident in a smaller group. And request that they schedule beginner classes. It seems odd to me that they don't have them. Every gym I've ever visited had classes geared towards their newer members. For instance, my gym offers kickboxing too and there is a beginner's class that is dedicated to just teaching the moves and what each one is called.
I'm not trying to talk you into doing something that you aren't comfortable with. Exercise should be fun. But I would hate to see you give up something that you would have otherwise enjoyed just because you are worried about what anyone else thinks.
Haleys, it's great that you picked yourself back up like that! WTG! And if you decide to go back to the class, don't forget that the instructor isn't going to think you're stupid or something if you can't do the moves yet. We got a new instructor in my circuit training class, and now the cardio portion (which used to be jogging in place or jumping jacks) is a weird aerobic routine that kind of resembles a cross between some kind of tribal dancing and bellydance. I have a lot of trouble doing the moves like the instructor, but I know everyone else is having trouble too (especially the guys! ). Don't forget that everyone in that class was just as lost as you on their first day! If there's something you really have trouble with, I'm sure you can ask the instructor after class to show you how to do it.
I would definitely go up and speak to the class instructor after the next class. She may have a class, like the others stated, that may be less crowded. The person answering the phone at the gym may not always be the one teaching the class-so it is best to talk to the actual instructor.
I co-instruct some Middle Eastern (belly dance) classes, and from my experience everyone feels how you do when they first start. I also want you to know that some people that start our dance classes pick it up easily, and others struggle all the way through. It actually does not have anything to do with how pretty, young, or "skinny" they are. I have seen some women come into the dance classes who are overweight and they can dance beautifully, and then there are some of the "perfect" looking ones who have two left feet (and hips). Skinny doesn't mean they are coordinated, that they have rhythm, or that they can stay on the beat of the music.
Everyone struggles at first. You were the new one in the class this time, so of course you are not going to know the routine and moves. But-there is something I want you to realize-EVERYONE messes up. The thing is, you are paying attention to every time that YOU screw up...but you are not seeing the person 3 people to your right when they miss a step, or the person behind you when they turn the wrong way. I guarantee that everyone is concentrating on doing it themselves more than they are paying attention to YOU. Trust me on this one.
I agree with everyone else - just keep doing it. (for some of the more complicated moves, you might try doing them off the step at first).
Not sure how open your gym is to suggestions from the members...but you might want to ask or suggest that the gym consider holding occasional "introductory clinics" teaching newbies the right moves - my gym has regular intro clinics a couple times a month (in fact, this Saturday is "Intro to Footworks" (traditional step/dance/strength conditioning class) and I'm planning on attending since I'm fairly klutzy ). I was chatting with our group fitness manager and she is a HUGE proponent of these clinics - we've had intro clinics in Spinning, Mat Pilates, Ashtanga Yoga, BOSU, etc.
I agree with what others have said. Comparing yourself to others can come to no good. It doesn't matter how you look now, what matters is that you're taking the steps to improve yourself.
I remember my first aerobics class at a Gold's gym (about 16-18 years ago). I felt like a total idiot, I didn't know any moves and stood in the back of the room. The instructor always came to the newbies and helped show us the steps slowly before class and after if you wanted help.
I also remember her teaching me to do "pizza lifts" (leg lifts where you are on your elbows knees to work the glutes)....the first time I was so klutzy I kicked the poor woman in the chin....I wanted to crawl under the mat, but I was forgiven and stuck with it.
usually the earlier classes in the PM are less crowded....good luck and don't worry about what you look like, you will improve very quickly!
Thank you so much! I'm most definitely going back Thursday and even if I can't do every single one of the moves, I'm going to try my best and I'm going to stay for the full hour. My arms already are sore from the punches and things and I was only there for 20 minutes! I'll let everyone know how it goes on Thursday. It's not possible to bring a friend with me because they all work during the time of the class and none of them have a membership to my gym, oh well, I can do it! Thanks again!!
Hey, I've been there too. A few years ago, I took an early morning step aerobics class. I was the biggest one there and the first few classes, I would mess up constantly, but with time and patience, I got the moves down. Eventually I quit worry about what the other people in my class thought because really, they were there for the same reason I was...to get healthy!
There's some great suggestions on here (I will be using them myself soon I'm sure when I take the plunge and join the gym!) and I just wanted to add something I forgot to mention last post:
With something like kickboxing you can also speak to the instructor and find out about basic moves and then rent a video that shows some of the moves and become more comfortable with them at home which might give you additional confidence going into class. Usually it's just a combination of several moves and if you can learn the steps then putting them together becomes a lot easier. This has worked for me in the past when figuring out new classes.
Well, that was a bad experience (kind of)
). Don't forget that everyone in that class was just as lost as you on their first day! If there's something you really have trouble with, I'm sure you can ask the instructor after class to show you how to do it.
). I was chatting with our group fitness manager and she is a HUGE proponent of these clinics - we've had intro clinics in Spinning, Mat Pilates, Ashtanga Yoga, BOSU, etc. 
