Hello all. I love this forum. I lurk in here from time to time.

I need to make sure I'm reading this particular situation right. My sister is probably 75 lbs. or so overweight. After my suggestion that we both try and start eating healthier, she agreed (I'm probably 45 lbs. overweight myself and we're now both in our 50s). It made me quite happy, since she's been significantly overweight for years. She wants to go on this diet plan that worked for a friend, and that's ok with me (that she would go on *any* plan is a win). BUT - she said she doesn't want to start it until the new year. She doesn't want to miss out on all the baking goodness that comes with the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

I can understand having a day-before buffet binge, like one last hurrah before the crunch. But not starting a diet for a couple of months so you can enjoy good eating on not one, but two different holidays? I tend to think that she's just telling me what I want to hear, and that come 2019 there will be another reason why she needs to hold off on the diet. I'm not pushing her to diet, by any means, but I am disappointed that she's not concerned enough with her weight and age to want to value her health over binge-eating during the holidays. Am I seeing this wrong?

that's lazy, i think you should insist on keeping up with the program will better do it now than tomorrow,
and from my own perspective you are not wrong.

Just because you're dieting, it doesn't mean you can't eat foods that taste good.

You can tell her that Thanksgiving and Christmas are a good opportunity to look for healthy recipes that taste good.

Yes, that would make sense. But I know why she said it, and it's not because she's looking for anything healthy during this time. It's only because of all the bad junk that she can indulge in. I'm really disappointed, because she cares less about her health and more about the delicious foods. She's been struggling with her weight for 25 years, and I get that. But if she says she's going to commit, she needs to do it and not just talk about it. I don't know whether I should tell her this or just throw my hands up in surrender again. I don't want to be accused of being the food police when I visit.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Hopefully, when she sees how good you look and how well you are doing, she will want to do it too. You can't force someone to take care of themselves, but you can be a good example and an inspiration, and then when they ask for help, be in a position to give it.

What many people like to forget is the holidays include Thanksgiving DAY and Christmas DAY, not Thanksgiving WEEK or Christmas MONTH of celebrations. This really helped me see it under a different light, and understand that I can still enjoy the Holidays and keep taking care of myself the vast majority of the time. I believe you should go ahead and start, set a good example and inspire those around you.

I agree with Lacerta. If you're ready now, then start without her. The motivation has to come from yourself and it's really hard to get going, so if you're in the mood now, don't wait. Hopefully your good habits and good changes will then be the extra motivation that your sister needs to follow you when she's ready. You really can't persuade other people much on this one. They have to do it themselves for their own reasons, when they're ready, and a failed attempt by your sister just because she wanted to keep you happy when her head wasn't really in it, isn't going to be a great outcome in the long run.

I just googled "healthy thanksgiving recipes" and I found several lists. I assume you can probably find similar lists for Christmas.

https://www.cookinglight.com/enterta...y-menu-recipes
https://greatist.com/health/healthy-...recipes-111512
https://www.foodandwine.com/slidesho...giving-recipes
https://www.brit.co/healthy-thanksgiving-recipes/

If you prefer to stick to the most famous Thanksgiving dishes, many of them are either healthy or can be made healthy by modifying the recipe.

Google "healthy stuffing recipe" or "healthy green bean casserole recipe" and you'll probably find some good recipes.

If you're making pumpkin pie, use half the amount of sugar that you usually use, and it'll still taste good.

Hi Crunchyhippo - I like your username. Maybe if you model healthy eating during the holiday season, your sister will see that it doesn't require her to live on rice cakes and water while everyone else is enjoying themselves.
Personally I'm trying to think of foods that aren't calorie dense that I can bring to Thanksgiving and eat when I really want to have mashed potatoes.... It's not too bad if I eat some extra servings of spicy brussel sprouts right?
Anyway, for you and for me, we both have to think about ourselves. I have a lot more weight to lose than you do, but both of us can concentrate on what we can control, and let other people join us or not as they choose and when they choose.

Here's the thing: you can't set someone else's priorities for them. You may want her to value her health more than she values food, but she doesn't want that, and you can't change her mind for her. So go about your life and if/when she comes to you in the right mindset to make a change, help her, but until then, you should just move on with your own journey.