Feeling encouraged today.
I've been feeling frustrated a lot lately. School has been a major contributing factor, particularly with getting Bs on my first round of exams (despite plenty of studying). I feel burnt out on my area of study (microbiology) and wish I were doing more math or physics instead. Not to mention angst over whether or not I want to go to medical school (and if not, what to do instead?) and other rapidly approaching life decisions.
And then there's the weight. I've struggled with maintaining my weight the past few months. At the end of spring semester, I was about 137 lbs, a weight I generally feel quite good in. Over the summer, a combination of slipping eating habits and too-frequent munchies have caused me some weight gain. Not a huge, way-out-of-control gain, but it feels larger than it is because I've felt helpless to stop and reverse it.
Within the past couple of days I've made efforts to change that. Starting to keep track of my food intake again and working on my mental st ate. Last night I had the munchies, but successfully talked myself out of getting snacks. I feel better today for it, and the little victories. I also felt a lot of negative feelings around my grades. I allowed myself to cry a bit and then calculated some "worst case scenarios." Realizing it's not the end of the world even if things go bad and mentally planning for the worst (while recognizing that it probably won't be that bad) makes me to feel better.
The scale read 142.6 lbs today, and I feel encouraged by that. Only about 5 lbs to get back to a comfortable weight for me. I know it can be slow going at my weight, but I'm still hopeful that I can get back into better food habits and get it off and keep it off fairly quickly. Or at least maintain. If it's too much stress to lose weight right now, I want to be happy maintaining.
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