Day 1 here. Status: self hatred
 

Been thin my whole life. Two best friends and sister are size 2. I just typed my whole story and it got deleted trying to post it. Never ever ever been so angry and depressed. Need to lose 60 pounds. I will never be able to do it. I hate myself. I'm so sick of this. Count and log every morsel. Seen nutritionists, had clear medical test after test after test, work out with trainer six days a week, see counselor. So sick of this. Hate myself.

I hope you can feel better very soon, and figure out a plan that works. You can do it! I have been fat my whole life, so I understand how the self hatred thing works. But try not to let that get in the way of eating well, and getting in some exercise. There are lots of people here to support you on your way. There are many helpful apps these days, like Lose It and My Fitness Pal. Give one a shot, makes it easy to track your calories. Good luck!

Have you looked in the mirror and seen how beautiful you are? That that will never change? Get clothes that fit, accessories you love, a new hair style, a massage. I tell myself, "I may not be 120 lbs. anymore, but I am the best looking size 12 out there!" And I believe it.

Now, if you really want to lose weight, juicing (mostly veggies) has done it for me. You get all the nutrients you need without the additional calories you don't. Try it! (Not longer than a month. Start with one meal. Then one day, etc.). Don't mean to proselytize but have lost a pound a day on it. Mostly do Paleo though. No dramatic weight loss, but look lean and healthy on it.

Edit: I mostly do Paleo.

40 lbs later, I KNOW that you can do it. It's a daily choice of course, and you have to be mad at it, but you CAN do it!

Yes you can lose the weight, believe me. :hug:

You're the first that has said you've been thin your whole life until now, most of us have been the opposite. What changed? Did you go on medication or anything? Just curious.

Good luck. :)

I am so sorry for the self hatred. I think many here will be able to relate to that. It is for many a vicious cycle. But people here are breaking that cycle. Bit by bit. Glad you are working on it with the assistance of others irl also.

The thing that works the best for me Re: diet is low carb and low calorie combination. I also found that my hormones (cortisol levels) were off.

Glad you are here.

Yes, I have been on medication for years for depression and OCD. I also had three kids in three days short of three years. (They are 16, 15 and 14 so this is not baby weight.) I've always had to fight to be thin. But things just stopped working a few years ago and the weight just continues to creep on. Have been unofficially diagnosed with something called Cushing Syndrome which is overproduction of cortisol (stress hormone). Seeking knowledgeable and competent medical treatment for it is a nightmare. I'm going to a wellness center weekly where they are helping with nutrition and acupuncture and overall support. I'm just so discouraged with the ongoing struggle and feeling like I'm running on a hamster wheel going nowhere

Yes!!! My cortisol levels at midnight are supposed to go down to 4-6. Mine went up to 146!!!!!!! Yes, one hundred forty six. One doctor has suggested Cushing syndrome. Been to every specialist in Houston and not one has said anything consistent with another so I am totally lost

Thank you for taking the time to post words of encouragement!

Thank you for your kind words and your suggestions. It helps so much to hear from other people.

Thank you for taking the time to reply and congrats on your loss !!! How did you do it?

I was thin all my life too. I feel like I'm stuck in someone else's body. Don't hate yourself, it happened to you so that you could grow stronger. I'd love to work with you and go through this with you. I weighed about 140 until I turned 41 then skyrocketed up to 200-220. I have no idea how to get back down because I was never in this situation before. I never had to work for my weight before in my life, I don't even know how. Let me know if you want to work together.

Kkim72, I'd LOVE to have a partner on here!!!! I'm new to this site so I don't know how to connect but YES!!!!! Let's get back to feeling like we live in bodies that we remember and help each other along the way !

That sounds great! I really need help getting motivated!!! I need motivation in every way...especially exercise. Besides work all I do is sit in my chair and watch TV (just being honest).

It would be great to have someone else to check in with and to help me stick with it. Sounds Outstanding!