Day 1 here. Status: self hatred
 

Been thin my whole life. Two best friends and sister are size 2. I just typed my whole story and it got deleted trying to post it. Never ever ever been so angry and depressed. Need to lose 60 pounds. I will never be able to do it. I hate myself. I'm so sick of this. Count and log every morsel. Seen nutritionists, had clear medical test after test after test, work out with trainer six days a week, see counselor. So sick of this. Hate myself.

I hope you can feel better very soon, and figure out a plan that works. You can do it! I have been fat my whole life, so I understand how the self hatred thing works. But try not to let that get in the way of eating well, and getting in some exercise. There are lots of people here to support you on your way. There are many helpful apps these days, like Lose It and My Fitness Pal. Give one a shot, makes it easy to track your calories. Good luck!

Have you looked in the mirror and seen how beautiful you are? That that will never change? Get clothes that fit, accessories you love, a new hair style, a massage. I tell myself, "I may not be 120 lbs. anymore, but I am the best looking size 12 out there!" And I believe it.

Now, if you really want to lose weight, juicing (mostly veggies) has done it for me. You get all the nutrients you need without the additional calories you don't. Try it! (Not longer than a month. Start with one meal. Then one day, etc.). Don't mean to proselytize but have lost a pound a day on it. Mostly do Paleo though. No dramatic weight loss, but look lean and healthy on it.

Edit: I mostly do Paleo.

40 lbs later, I KNOW that you can do it. It's a daily choice of course, and you have to be mad at it, but you CAN do it!

Yes you can lose the weight, believe me. :hug:

You're the first that has said you've been thin your whole life until now, most of us have been the opposite. What changed? Did you go on medication or anything? Just curious.

Good luck. :)

I am so sorry for the self hatred. I think many here will be able to relate to that. It is for many a vicious cycle. But people here are breaking that cycle. Bit by bit. Glad you are working on it with the assistance of others irl also.

The thing that works the best for me Re: diet is low carb and low calorie combination. I also found that my hormones (cortisol levels) were off.

Glad you are here.

Yes, I have been on medication for years for depression and OCD. I also had three kids in three days short of three years. (They are 16, 15 and 14 so this is not baby weight.) I've always had to fight to be thin. But things just stopped working a few years ago and the weight just continues to creep on. Have been unofficially diagnosed with something called Cushing Syndrome which is overproduction of cortisol (stress hormone). Seeking knowledgeable and competent medical treatment for it is a nightmare. I'm going to a wellness center weekly where they are helping with nutrition and acupuncture and overall support. I'm just so discouraged with the ongoing struggle and feeling like I'm running on a hamster wheel going nowhere

Yes!!! My cortisol levels at midnight are supposed to go down to 4-6. Mine went up to 146!!!!!!! Yes, one hundred forty six. One doctor has suggested Cushing syndrome. Been to every specialist in Houston and not one has said anything consistent with another so I am totally lost

Thank you for taking the time to post words of encouragement!

Thank you for your kind words and your suggestions. It helps so much to hear from other people.

Thank you for taking the time to reply and congrats on your loss !!! How did you do it?

I was thin all my life too. I feel like I'm stuck in someone else's body. Don't hate yourself, it happened to you so that you could grow stronger. I'd love to work with you and go through this with you. I weighed about 140 until I turned 41 then skyrocketed up to 200-220. I have no idea how to get back down because I was never in this situation before. I never had to work for my weight before in my life, I don't even know how. Let me know if you want to work together.

Kkim72, I'd LOVE to have a partner on here!!!! I'm new to this site so I don't know how to connect but YES!!!!! Let's get back to feeling like we live in bodies that we remember and help each other along the way !

That sounds great! I really need help getting motivated!!! I need motivation in every way...especially exercise. Besides work all I do is sit in my chair and watch TV (just being honest).

It would be great to have someone else to check in with and to help me stick with it. Sounds Outstanding!

Communication
 

Hi Want2SmileAgain! If you are still wanting to try to help each other lose weight, let me know. We can come up with a game plan and maybe checkin with each other every few days? Not sure if there is a thing like that already on here? I had a great day, good breakfast, good lunch, then my dinner plans were crushed by Dairy Queen chicken fingers :-(

I haven't worked out in a while either. I've had a cold and flu so I've just been sleeping a lot! Not good at all!

you need to take day by day!

Hi friend, YES I want to work together. We seem to have very similar patterns. I did great for a few days and then caved one night on a few things I don't even particularly like! (Those orange cheese filled crackers, for example) I would like to figure out a way we can private message. Do you know how that works? I'd love to be able to touch base and maybe we can set some short term challenges for each other to try? For example, it is Sunday afternoon. Let's try to get one hour of exercise by Monday night. And let's both report at least ONE food item we were tempted to eat that we declined eating and instead either chugged 16 ounces of water (to feel full in the moment and get some water in) or selected something else that is healthier. U up for it?

I can understand how you feel about self-hatred. I let myself go for about 4 years and I finally made the step to get my body back. I hate myself deep down for letting myself get like this but Im also proud of myself for taking a step in the right direction. Dont ever say Never or Cant. YOU can do this! :)

:wel3fc: I check in on a few different threads. I have found that 3FC over the years has been my backbone to weighloss. I also use myfitnesspal to track my calories and other nutrients. I do log my food from time to time on the low carb thread that I'm on it does help to get that virtual pat on the back saying I did well today. I am also a daily weigher so I log my weight along with other things on a thread that I start each month. There are plenty here as you know. You can even continue your accountability tracking here and others will definitely join :) Glad you're here :)

:wel3fc: Glad to have you here on the forums :) Like I just said to Kim, search the threads and find all of the ones that you like, check in, meet people, the support here is like none other. I have left and come back many times. I love the accountability and just recently I was able to search through and find some old menus of mine on 3FC and myfitnesspal. So you'll always have references to go back to. I decided yesterday to revisit the Dukan Diet and to get on my treadmill again. I had a great weigh in this morning and like someone else said just one day at a time. That's all I can do. I hope to have a great week but that doesn't always happen, but I'll have to pick myself up with some 3FC encouragement and start all over. You can do it and we can all do it together. :hug:

Hi Want2SmileAgain,

I was on the same boat as you! Back in 2013, I was 80 lbs overweight and my friend called me 'fat' several times... (she too is overweight though not too fat). That gave me the motivation to do some exercise - I started thinking I wouldn't stand anymore 2 months of rigorous exercising, but fortunately, the good gym (Gold's) I joined offered interesting programs - like Pilates, Body Pump, etc and I did that along with compulsory walking each day 6 times a week. AND I was on diet pill (Phentermine) which in my opinion, definitely revved up my metabolism to the point I lost, every single month, 8 lbs each month. Like this, I lasted in the gym for 4 months. Once I hit 34 lbs, I no longer looked terribly obese, and I fell back into lethargy and I stopped... until now..

Recently, my husband who has always been 50 lbs and 2 inches smaller than me, lost close to another 20 lbs. Now he is 70 lbs lighter than me and 2 inches shorter too! When we went on vacation recently, I looked little too enormous for him in all our pictures... My husband has been plainly addressing this and also kinda yelling at me, "What is my problem I cannot even manage to WALK every single day, when I am home and not even working?". I hear him and what he is saying is right. So this is motivational factor #1.

And then my admiration for a very famous movie star (Aishwarya Rai Bacchan). She seemingly gained 40 - 50 lbs few years ago from pregnancy, but she has now lost it all and is slim as ever. Everyday I log into the internet and admire a few recent pics of hers! :) She is my motivator, I keep telling myself, well, if weight loss is hard, atleast it is still fair, it has got to be tough for everyone the same way, if she can do it, I can too... Afterall, it would have hurt her as much... :) So this is my major motivator factor #2!.

Thank you SO much for the motivation!!!!!!!!!!!!!