Wish there was a group on here for this issue.

When I was a teen I developed anorexia and bulimia because of body dysmorphia and control issues (I had a chaotic home life). It took me until my Sophomore year of college to get "healthy".

Now, I'm 220 and I don't "see" the fat. I feel slim and sexy on the inside. When I look out, I don't see myself how I look. When I see pictures of myself I am disgusted and then I tell myself I must not really look like that, because I don't feel like I look like that.

When I look back at pictures of me when I was a teen, I see pictures of 1. a beautiful girl that was certainly NOT fat and 2. a gaunt, too skinny girl that needed more weight for her figure.

When I look back to my "healthy" days, I see a gorgeous woman. I have no idea why I saw myself as gross and disgusting and fat back then, but I don't see what is really there now.

Body dysmorphia in the wrong direction???

How did this happen? How did the switch flip?

I do know that I was paranoid of dieting for years because I was worried I would fall back into bad habits (anorexia/bulimia) again.

So confused.

And I spelled Dysmorphia wrong in the thread title. Sigh. Anyone know how to fix it?

When I was a teen, I was thin, but all I could see was my "junk in the trunk" and that was before JLo came along and made big booties popular. Twiggy thin is what was popular in the 70's, and I was no Twiggy. But like you, now, I don't see myself as heavy as I am. The only time I can really see it is in pictures, in dressing room mirrors, and when I see my reflection in store windows. Why can't I see it in every mirror in my home or when I simply look at my body? It's odd.

Thank you.so glad to knowing am not alone with this!