I need help to lose weight, I'm currently 5'4 300lbs. I've tried to restrict calories like 500 times but every time I try I end up going over and just saying '**** it' and eating even more than I usually do which just results in me gaining more weight. I have very strong willpower - I go to the gym and workout every day. But I just can't control myself when it comes to food.
I have considered drugs but I don't want to put my body through that stress. I want to know how I can lose weight without having to resort to unhealthy dieting habits like calorie restricting. Also, people have told me (rudely) to eat nothing but vegetables and I won't eat be able to eat as much calories. But they taste so bad - like I feel like I'm going to vomit, I can barely eat one stick of carrot without throwing up. I really hate these skinny elitist idiots who say "Just restrict your calories!" when they just have good genes and are naturally skinny.
I look after 2 kids all by myself I DESERVE to treat myself. I'm way too stressed looking after my kids to just "eat less". It's a full time job and I am already being very altruistic by bringing TWO children into the world. So please, don't lecture me about being lazy.
Can you make a deal with yourself to not restrict the amount of food but instead the type of food? It was a game changer for me to figure out I could have 1 1/2 cups of canned green beans for 60 calories- seriously! I now eat a huge bowl of fruit and veggies every day and it's amazing. I'm so full.
A cup of cucumbers, a small peach, a cup of diced watermelon, a half cup of blueberries, a half cup of strawberries- all of that is only 180 calories. That's less than in a pack of crackers and it doesn't make you MORE hungry later!
Weight loss requires so much REthinking of things.
You DO deserve to treat yourself. Treat yourself to a longer life and to things, not foods. Get a jar and collect the money you would have used in a vending machine for something for you!
By the way, there is nothing I don't eat. I just restrict quantities and have other healthier sides. We totally have a pizza night. And tonight I'm making fried chicken. I'm not changing my life. Not really. Just using food as fuel instead of treatment for other things.
My heart goes out to you, so I'm going to give you a big internet hug.
Losing weight is frustrating enough by itself, but throw kid(s) into the mix and it's even harder! I had my daughter two years ago and these 20 pregnancy pounds refuse to leave. I just recently got back on the wagon and have made some lifestyle changes that are producing results (this far!). One thing that made a huge difference was getting my daughter to sleep through the night. I had a very tough time with her until April of this year. I got *maybe* 2 hours of continuous sleep. The rest of the night? A mess. I was so sleep deprived that I just managed to get through the day, forget focusing on exercise and eating right! So I have to ask, are you children sleeping through the night? You sound very frustrated - exactly how I felt and sounded for almost 2 years, which is why I'm asking. If they aren't good sleepers, then I would first suggest getting them to sleep for 6 hours straight. You'll feel like a new person!
If your sleep is fine, then I think it's a matter of which path you take for your journey. For some people, eating clean and exercising consistently from the get-go works and that's great...for them. For the rest of us, baby steps are key to making this work. So far, you have the exercise part down, woohoo! That's usually the hard part for many. I would suggest you take a look at your diet and start with reducing portions. Eat what you usually do, but instead of 2 scoops of ice cream (an example), take 1 and go from there. That way, you still get to eat the food you normally eat. Once you've cut down your portions to reasonable sizes, you'll need to fill up the rest of your day's calories with healthy snacks, like fruit, nuts and string cheese. There are plenty of threads on here to help you at that stage.
It's a lot of text, but essentially what I'm saying is: Take small steps and be proud of your accomplishments so far! You're exercising- ! You're concerned about your health and diet - ! Looks like you're on your way to healthier you!
I hear you about the kids! Also, if money is an issue it often feels like the only way you can afford to treat yourself is via food.
I think different approaches work for different people. You're great about exercising so I'm not sure what works for lazybones me will be helpful to you but here's what's working for me.
I cut out diet coke! And all nutra sweet. That was super hard for me and to be honest I didn't lose any weight from it. HOWEVER, once I cut way back on sugar and other refined carbs, i.e. White bread, muffins, cookies, pretzels, etc. the weight started to fall off. I think with way less sugar and no nutra sweet my bood sugar was much better controlled. And At first I ate lots of potato chips. I think because they have so much fat in them I wasn't as hungry after eating them.
I'm not sure if my calories are less now than they were before. I definitely eat more fat and more protein than I used to. I also eat many less carbs. Muffins, cookies, etc. I only have two or three times a week and NEVER in place of a meal.
Good luck. I hope you can find a way of eating that works for you. The good news is that you are GREAT about exercising.
You might find that you are hopped up on sugars (which might be why eating veggies makes you want to vomit).
And sorry to say, if you want to lose weight, you will have to restrict calories. Plain and simple. Now, it doesn' thave to be cutting calories by a lot, but obviously, you can't eat what you are eating now as that is how you are either holding steady or gaining weight. Changes can be moderate, but you will need to track - one way or another.
I suggest low carb, because I don't know many people who get morbidly obese (and you can see I fit that category, so I'm not finger pointing, just realizing I've been there) who don't have sugar/carb sensitivities. maybe if you get rid of most carbs, (or find the right balance) you won't crave them and then can stick to a diet. I CANNOT stick to a diet that is high carb.
So, that means you can eat eggs and bacon and meat and fats and so on - as much as you want - without going over a certain (your decided point) of calories. Do that for awhile. Be faithful to it. And then see where your carb limit is. Where is your 'safety' of being able to eat a treat, without then devouring a tub of icecream because of craving monsters surfacing. That is very individual.
This sounds IMPOSSIBLE when I'm hopped up on sugars, but when I'm not? It's easy. It's just forcing myself to get through the beginning and then finding the balance.
There is work to be involved. Like start with tracking what you are eating now. Then dropping it, let's say 200 calories a day. That shouldn't feel like a big difference. That will add up to 1 pound a month lost. A year later, that's about 12 pounds. With little tweaks, it could be 60 pounds in 5 years. Weight loss can be SLOW... it's still heading in the right direction!
But, until you are ready to do the work, you aren't ready.
For years I yo-yo dieted with counting calories until I just couldn't make myself do it anymore; however, I would like to say that counting calories is not an unhealthy way of dieting. It's very successful for some people. I just don't have what it takes to stick to it. I have found success (now for the 2nd time around because idiotically I stopped doing it for no good reason the first time) on a modified version of the Slow Carb Diet. On this diet, for 6 days I eat slow-burning foods like meats, non-starchy vegetables, and beans, and stay away from quick-burning/high glycemic index foods like sweets, breads, potatoes, pasta, etc. The 7th day, however, I can eat whatever I want as much as I want. I don't count calories or grams or anything like that. What initially attracted me to it was that I thought, "Hey, I can diet for 6 days as long as I can eat anything I want on the 7th day! No sweat!" Of course, everybody's different and this diet isn't for everyone. It would be a terrible fit for a binge-eater, and diabetics have to continue to be careful about what they eat on that 7th day. But if you are interested, there is a more detailed description of exactly what I do here: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/othe...e-dieting.html. Whatever plan you choose, good luck!
I know how you feel, making that change is awfully tough. what helped me was trying to switcch around those values over time. Instead of associating junk food to a reward, to a treat, I tried to slowly enjoy my healthier meals that seemed so unappetizing before. Here are some things that helped me make that change - I hope they help you!
1) Experimenting! I can't eat veggies on my own, either, even though I eat good portions of it everyday. So I try to combine them with things I do like and find new recipes. When it becomes a fun kind of experimentation, I look forward to my healthier meals. Maybe try to use hummus, or parmesan, or look up other healthy recipes! They usually look really colorful so it looks pretty good!
2) Drink your water. I heard that people often feel hungry when they're dehydrated, and it turns out that was my case. I was having less than half the water I should be having daily (sometimes none at all...ouch) and it killed a lot of my cravings!
3) Shop well. This works for me because I'm an impulsive eater, so if nothing's immediately available to me when I have a craving, it's much easier for me to let it pass.
4) Introduce one new thing at a time. I lost a lot of weight without counting calories (quite slowly, mind you) because I didn't want to rush my cutting of certain foods and think about them the whole day and yadda yadda. I cut one junk food (sodas was my start), then eventually another...and just trying to get myself to taste new foods with an open mind (I'm a very picky eater). I introduced one vegetable at lunch. Then, after awhile, a fruit with my snack. And, since I built these habits slowly, I never really felt too deprived or had to "hold myself back". It was a chill process that I could enjoy!
5) Find out what you like, but stay open minded. I tried all sorta of new veggies and made great discoveries (still need them mixed with my chicken or something salty, which isn't a problem), but some things I just haven't liked no matter how I cook them. It's fine. It's fun, though, to experiment and discover new flavors. I think I mostly keep an open mind because these recipe blogs have the best pictures, so the food looks amazing. Even with something as simple as changing my references for food I've slowly come to think of it as a tasty option, too!
6) Sharing is caring! When I got to share my new recipes with others, it's made it easier for them to help me stay on track and for me to try new things more willingly.
7) Know how to spice! It takes time to learn this, of course, but in the US, I was horrified to discover that vegetables are usually served raw and unsalted. Um, what!? That is still disgusting to me. Seriously, just boiling and a small pinch of salt make a huge difference. And I see restaurants trying to compensate with enough salad dressings to kill my daily caloric intake when it's unnecessary. You can find really nice full-on recipes, but small add-ons can already add a lot of flavor to a salad or veggie plate.
8) Invest in a hobby! It's easy to think about food all the time when you're looking up tons of recipes on a low-calorie diet. So getting distracted during the day helps to avoid a certain obsessiveness (which from personal experience I can say often leads to overeating).
9) Find healthy ways to treat yourself! I found a passion fruit yogurt that tastes like passion fruit mousse, so I make a parfait with that (granola and bananas, usually) and it tastes like a dessert. I recently tasted a dragon bowl and oh, boy. Even if you do have chocolate, try dark chocolate with fruits. Or even better - find ways to treat yourself without food! A massage, a certain body cream you like, a mani pedi, a movie night... learning to disassociate food with a reward is a...well, rewarding process!
I can't think of anything else haha but I hope this helps! It's mostly mentality changes, but trust me, they're a good portion of any weight loss journey. ^w^
When you restrict, do you go "all in" and try to eat very low calorie? That can often lead us to give up because it's so hard to do. Have you tried limiting yourself to say, 2000 calories a day, or 2250? That's not really restrictive and with all your exercise should give you good results.
I do think you are going to have to adjust your mindset. Telling yourself you DESERVE more food than your body needs is like saying you DESERVE a dress or car or phone that you can't afford. If I have $300 in my bank account but I go out and buy a swank bag for $500, and then complain about being broke but say I DESERVED that bag, well, what are you going to tell me? You would tell me I can't spend money I don't have. Well, you can't eat calories you don't burn if you want to lose weight. We all have to live within our limits -- caloric, financial, what have you.
As for those "skinny elitist idiots," you know why they tell you to eat less? Because that's what they do. Yes, some have the benefit of "good genes," but the vast majority of thin women I know are very, very careful about what they eat. When I go out to dinner with my set of close friends, they *never* clean their plates, and when we split a dessert between the 4 of us it only gets finished if I decide to polish it off. They will take a small bite or two and then put down their spoons and that's it. You may not wish to do that, but it is a decision you make, a decision about your priorities.
Taking care of children is hard -- I know, I have 3. My husband deployed days after our third was born, so I know. It would be helpful to find ways to handle your stress that are not destructive -- yep, easier said than done, but something to work on.
Wow, thesame7lbs: this is a marvelous way to look at things and reframe! Love it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thesame7lbs
I do think you are going to have to adjust your mindset. Telling yourself you DESERVE more food than your body needs is like saying you DESERVE a dress or car or phone that you can't afford. If I have $300 in my bank account but I go out and buy a swank bag for $500, and then complain about being broke but say I DESERVED that bag, well, what are you going to tell me? You would tell me I can't spend money I don't have. Well, you can't eat calories you don't burn if you want to lose weight. We all have to live within our limits -- caloric, financial, what have you.
This is NOT about a diet. Crap, the first 3 letters in the word "DIET" spell "DIE"
This is about a lifestyle change.
Food, is not the enemy. Most dishes that we love, can be made more healthy.
Here is the thing. Quit looking at this like it is a cross to bear and another dang chore.
Get positive, it's a challenge! Food that is good for you can taste good!
Eat right 85-90% of the time, give yourself some leeway.
You do deserve to treat yourself, in a GOOD WAY! Get a massage, give yourself a pedi, when the house is quiet, have a cup of tea. If Dad is there, put him on duty, take a walk, or bubble bath, clear your mind.
Have you considered the example you are setting for your children? Do you want them to be where you are?
You are a parent, that comes with responsibilities. I am a parent as well, some days, it is hard, but, as a parent, it is up to us, to set and live the good example.
You don't have to count calories to lose weight. You do have to eat less food though and you do have to start eating some healthier food. If carrots make you vomit then pass them over to me cause they're my favorite. But make sure you do find a favorite, veggies are not optional!
I do not diet, I do not count calories, I do not weigh my food, I do not restrict on carbs or sugars or anything like that. I follow intuitive eating which is a behavioral approach to eating rather than a diet. It helps you distinguish between physical hunger vs. mouth hunger or emotional hunger, employs mindful eating techniques and most importantly it promotes a peaceful healthy relationship with food and with your body. It's the anti diet. I'm with you on the tracking, I won't even weigh myself more than once a month. Life is too short to make myself anxious and panicky about calories and crunching numbers.
And here's a secret. All those naturally skinny people you THINK have good genes are all intuitive eaters. We are all born intuitive eaters and we unlearn how to feed ourselves. Because people start imposing rules on us like "don't eat that, it will spoil your dinner" and "finish all the food on your plate" and "but it's my birthday, you have to have cake." And soon enough someone comes along and puts us on a diet. Modern society doesn't know how to eat anymore, we're surrounded by massive quantities of food and we eat for every reason under the sun except for hunger. Intuitive eating gets you back in touch with your body's real hunger so that you do not depend on external rules for how to eat. IE is not for the weak and it's not for quick weight loss. It's for people who do not want to diet and who want to make peace with food and want to learn how to trust their bodies again.
Last edited by Palestrina; 07-10-2015 at 08:18 AM.
How to lose weight without depriving myself
! You're concerned about your health and diet - 
For years I yo-yo dieted with counting calories until I just couldn't make myself do it anymore; however, I would like to say that counting calories is not an unhealthy way of dieting. It's very successful for some people. I just don't have what it takes to stick to it. I have found success (now for the 2nd time around because idiotically I stopped doing it for no good reason the first time) on a modified version of the Slow Carb Diet. On this diet, for 6 days I eat slow-burning foods like meats, non-starchy vegetables, and beans, and stay away from quick-burning/high glycemic index foods like sweets, breads, potatoes, pasta, etc. The 7th day, however, I can eat whatever I want as much as I want. I don't count calories or grams or anything like that. What initially attracted me to it was that I thought, "Hey, I can diet for 6 days as long as I can eat anything I want on the 7th day! No sweat!" Of course, everybody's different and this diet isn't for everyone. It would be a terrible fit for a binge-eater, and diabetics have to continue to be careful about what they eat on that 7th day. But if you are interested, there is a more detailed description of exactly what I do here: 
