It's so hard. I also find that when I am trying to stick to a diet and exercise plan, that my other negative compulsions also start to come out, like documenting everything in the fridge every day (even when I already know the minor changes that occurred because I track everything that my husband and I eat), or making long grocery lists of foods I feel comfortable eating and then not being able to buy anything when I am at the store, and drinking excessive amounts of water until I make myself feel ill, or getting into a situation where I just eat the same food for all three meals every day for several days.
I also try and shut it down as soon as I notice it, but it's hard. I feel like it's just this comfortable, easy place that is so tempting to slide back to -- even though I know that the comfort and ease is short lived and followed by ****.
I will admit, I even surf websites like myproana periodically. I tell myself it's to make me remember how terrible things were, but sometimes I think it's just my way of getting that "quick fix" of feeling like I am "not that bad" because I am not underweight, because I do eat SOMETHING every day, because I don't make myself throw up, etc. but comparative behaviors are not healthy either... ugh.
Sorry for the rant. I just need to force myself to acknowledge that this isn't right and I need it to not be a secret that I am still struggling with it.
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