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- Weight Loss Support (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support-13/)

- - Defining moments (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/304017-defining-moments.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Palestrina (Post 5164484)

Don't you wish you could go back and say something in your own defense? I do, hurtful words have a way of staying with you forever.

I remember when I was young, late teens I had gone with friends on vacation to a Greek isle. It was so beautiful there. I was confident back then, I was never thin but I think I wore size 10-12ish. I was laying in this incredibly beautiful beach near dusk, there weren't too many people left at the beach. I was laying face down in the sand enjoying the warmth of the sun after a swim. A group of guys walked by me and said something along the lines of "ewww this fatty is showing us her ***, does she really think we want to see that?" and laughed. I was so mortified. That's when I learned that I didn't deserve to feel confidence in my body. Only now am i unlearning this.

In my case, no. I don't think saying anything to them would have changed their horrible attitudes. I feel like my eye rolling conveyed "You're not worth my time or words" which is probably better than anything I would have said at the moment.

But I can see in your scenario where I would have liked to say something. Honestly though I would probably have been at a loss for words and just given them the "drop dead" look or the finger.

Isn't it awful when strangers can affect you so deeply?

Only twice in my life have I been unsulted about my weight. Once was an ex employer who randomly told me I should lose some weight when I didn't remember asking his opinion and another was a co-worker that actually told me I needed to walk some of my fat @ss off. I was shocked and hurt at that one. I wasn't even that overweight. He was one of those foreigners with superiority complex. That was about 16 years ago.

Still I decided on my own 3 years ago to lose for me, not anyone else.

I was quiet back then, had he said that to me today I'd rip him a new one. I'm very different now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by novangel (Post 5164514)

I was quiet back then, had he said that to me today I'd rip him a new one. I'm very different now.

I guess this is what I was getting at. Not specifically in the instance I wrote above, but when a family member says "your face is so pretty it's a shame you don't lose a little weight" it can hurt for decades. Often this happens when we are young and too inexperienced or confident enough to respond. I often agreed with such assessments and took them on as my own thoughts when I wish I was assertive enough to say something like "mind your own body and your own business." You have to teach people how to treat you.

I wish this had been defining moments-where I changed-But I never forgot; I ran into an old HS Bfriend at a wedding (I was 25 then)And he asked me when my baby was due> I lied and said I had just had him. ( He was really 10 months old!) What really bugged me is that both he & his wife are overweight.

Thank you, Eydawn. It was certainly a traumatic time in my life...and the after-effects were horrible...but I am finally in a place where I feel like I can do this healthily! Finally! Thank you for the support!

I like this thread...look how far we've all come from our defining moments! Go us!