My name is Jen, I've been on and off 3fatchicks for years. (I used to be jeniansmom but I can't seem to retrieve my password for that account).
I haven't been here in a few years. Over the last year I've had great weight loss success. I'm close to my goal weight. However, since the holidays I've found myself in an ever-more-rapidly cycling pattern...
I'll do really well food and exercise wise and hit a new low (though that's going very slowly), then I'll start eating non-stop and gain back 5ish pounds. I feel very out of control while I'm doing it, though in reality I'm more in control than in the past, as I'm not going out and buying chips/cookies/ice cream, I'm just overeating on the better choices that are in the house.
I eat to the point of being uncomfortable / sick and then I chill for awhile and get back on track.
Not sure if these episodes are triggered by drinking and/or having a high carb day (I do a ketogenic diet which has helped with type 2 diabetes as well as anxiety issues), or the weight loss (I know I am simultaneously excited by and freaked out by each new low).
I also know that I look pretty good but am still struggling with knowing that I will never look great (too old, too much stubborn fat on belly, arms, thighs, and butt). And on the one hand I'm super happy with where I am and on the other hand will never be happy with where I am.
These binging episodes also seem to be when I'm super tired and having anxiety flare ups / feel almost pms-like in my irritability. Its hard to know what is triggering what with all of this.
And, of course, when I'm going through this I also tend not to work out which makes the weight gain worse and which doesn't help my mood. I KNOW that working out makes me feel better, but when I'm in a funk its hard to get myself to do it.
Gaa! Need to figure out how to break this pattern which is repeating more and more frequently lately.
So, I'm here reaching out, looking for others who've faced similar episodes, wondering if anyone has any advice on how to get beyond this?
We have a lot in common and not just our name So let me pull up a chair *screech* I am a stress eater and find moments when I want to eat just for the sake of eating and will do it non stop until my stomach aches with being filled with food. I struggle with this everyday because food is my friend and always has been. Some days I win, some days I don't.
The great thing is that I know I am human and you are too. I have learned and am still learning that I can't beat myself up so much when I do make those mistakes and stuff my face. We are our worst enemy when we do self destructive things that are out to overtake our weight loss success. A great example of that is that we wouldn't have been so overweight in the first place if we had cared all along. Now that we do it's a lot easier to beat ourselves up when we do make a mistake. I encourage you to move on and realize that tomorrow is a brand new day to count calories and exercise and start a new!
Do whatever it takes to get back in the gym. Our biggest defense against overeating is exercise! See if you can get an accountability partner to help you with working out. Whatever it takes!
Just know that patterns like this lead back to long term weight gain and so we need to make sure and nip them before it starts back up. Even if you're not eating 100%, if you're exercising, you will burn off your extra calories and feel better too.
I have depression and anxiety and exercise helps me a lot. I would advise you to make sure that you have a professional knowing what you're experiencing as well. I wouldn't be where I am without the help of a therapist and medical doctor. I always recommend you seek professional help if you think it might help you. We can't always fix things on our own I wish you good luck.
Last edited by JenDestiny; 05-07-2015 at 05:19 PM.
I also found this (very scientific) information on calorie restriction + stress in rats to be interesting. Rats on restricted calories didn't binge; stressed-out rats didn't binge; but rats who had been on restricted calories for 4 days and were then stressed? They binged. (poor rats )
Hi Jen,
Wow does that sound familiar! The study linked by thesame7lbs was explained to me by a nutritionist I consulted. Why did I consult a nutritionist? Basically for some of the same issues you are describing. I had already lost my weight on a ketogenic, extreme diet (anything under 1000 cal is labeled extreme by nutritionists). i was thrilled to have a new healthy body & stayed pretty low carb. Then I began binging, so I would have to reboot to get 12 lbs off, several times. I was so moody I should have worn a keep back 10 ft sign.
The combo of low cal low carb can trigger a survival response that seems to be hard wired into our brains--binging on the quickest, most calorie dense foods available, as if bulking up for the next 'famine'. This can be liberating because although the urge to binge is compelling, it's possible to ignore it and remind oneself that we are not starving. Knowing it's a biological thing means we don't have to beat ourselves up for slipping into old habits. It's a natural response to dieting.
For me, I can't do restrictive diets. I will start binging every time. I've tried keto, paleo, vegan, low fat vegan, etc. and they never last for long. The only thing that works for me is allowing myself to have any food I want but counting calories so I'm not eating anything in unlimited amounts. Restrictive diets like keto appeal because they provide a lot of structure. There's no worrying if someone brings cake or donuts to the office because it's completely off limits. However, this can be psychologically detrimental over time and I think it's not positive for people with certain personalities and dispositions. Perhaps try more of a moderate or slow carb way of eating and see how you respond? Obviously what you're doing right now isn't working for you.
Thank you all so much for the responses.
Your willingness to share your experience and knowledge mean so much!
This weekend was super stressful work wise and extremely busy overall, and I hadn't had a chance to get on here, so while I'm still digesting the information provided, and still trying to formulate words out of all the thoughts and feelings I have right now, I wanted to take a minute to thank the four of you!
I feel in some ways that being so busy this weekend was good because it kind of got me out of my head and I didn't obsess about the food and my weight as much, it kind of made me take a step back and shifted my focus. Maybe now when I do have the time to wrap my head around things I'll be able to come at it from a different angle.
Welcome!youve done amazing and should be proud. Everyone's different and one persons keeps to success is another persons lost cause. I'm stuck in a flat spot myself. I second the thought on hitting the gym, do weights! Might be surprised. .
Regarding the binges, it's hard to find the stressor. I eat a lot of veggies. So sometimes I don't have other binge options. I eat 10 baby carrots and then I'm over it because my brain didn't get that pleausure and now onto something else.
Other times I really think about why and am I hungry, a glass of water and I'm over it.
And then there's days where nothing works....
You're at a point in your weightloss now that dieting is doing you more harm than good. You see, dieting is very stressful on our bodies and on our minds and binging becomes a normal reaction to restriction. I would suggest reading an intuitive eating book which does a good job of explaining this better than I can. Intuitive eating also address issues of body image, negative body thoughts have a negative effect on our eating. Control is not the answer because at some point it starts to backfire. Your body does not want you to be in control, it too needs to feel free to experience it's wants and needs without being forced to eat or restricted from eating.
<background and babbling>At my heaviest, right after the birth of my son 17 years ago, I was over 300 lbs. When I went back to work I lost around 20 lbs and stayed there for a long while. Then I started a yoyo phase and lost all the way down to 220 and then bounced back up to the 260s and stayed in the 250-260 range for a number of years.
Last March, when I started my current WOE, I was at 255. I didn't have a grand plan (I'd had lots of grand plans in the past and they had always failed, I'm a compulsive list maker, but my lists rarely get completed). I had heard some about the WOE and it made some sense to me so I decided to try it for a day. And that day turned into another and another. I felt good and decided to keep going with it. I had more energy, I noticed my skin was clearer, my fasting blood sugars were better, I had more mental clarity, I had less anxiety. The weight came off, my clothes got loose and then too big. My friends and family oohed and ahhed.
After awhile I started exercising. I experimented with different ways to work out and fell in love with lifting free weights. I loved the way it made me feel after a workout. I loved the soreness the next day. While I was lifting my mind was clear, it was meditative.
Over the last few months I've been letting superficial goals get in the way. Wanting to reach a certain number on the scale, wanting to fit into a certain size of clothes. At the same time the oohs and ahhs from family, friends, and patients have become almost daily. The attention is flattering but is in contrast with what my personal image is of my body. And I've been letting that get in the way too. Instead of celebrating my success I'm always judging my stomach, arms, thighs. And maybe the oohs and ahhs feel like pressure.. pressure to continue improving my looks, pressure to maintain and not backslide. I don't know if that makes sense? I've also got lots of people wanting my advice / telling me I'm an inspiration. This is also flattering and makes me feel good, but also feels like pressure. (Ya, I'm kinda screwed up ) </end babbling>
So, I've been thinking about my goals. And how far I've come already. And how excited I was in the beginning about all the wonderful changes in my health. I think I need to stop making grand plans of being perfect (I had started meal planning and workout planning for a week (or more) at a time and then using failure to adhere to the plan as an excuse to slack off / binge).
I need to get back to that one day at a time mentality and be grateful for the wonderful things I've done for my body, the amazing changes I've made in my life. I need to stop just giving lip service to these things as I do when talking to others, and really feel them deep down.
I need to recommit to the fundamentals of the WOE that have gotten me this far. Keep the net carbs low (it really does make a difference for me in my fasting blood sugars and my mental state), but still eat adequate calories, keep the water high, get enough electrolytes, eat as much whole food with a good balance of protein and veggies as possible.
Because slacking off doesn't just mean gaining a few pounds back, it means being a less healthy version of myself. It means IBS flare ups and headaches and irritability and anxiety flare ups and lethargy and sleeplessness and zits.
And I need to get back to working out, doing some movement every day. Not plan a crazy hour long lifting session after a 12-hour day of work, just something every day that gets my body moving.
So, I started today, and just worried about today. I watched my carbs at our work pot luck, I drank more water than I have been, and tonight I hit the weights for the first time in 2 weeks (and oh didn't it feel good!).
Tomorrow will be another day, not a perfect day, but one where I do the best I can for me, so that I can feel as good as I can and live as long as I can to be a pain in my son's tush for as long as I can, and go dancing and hiking and sightseeing with my awesome husband for as long as I can. Because in the end, those are my goals. Not a perfect body, or a magic number on the scale.
Reaching out - need to break a bad eating pattern
So let me pull up a chair *screech* I am a stress eater and find moments when I want to eat just for the sake of eating and will do it non stop until my stomach aches with being filled with food. I struggle with this everyday because food is my friend and always has been. Some days I win, some days I don't. 
)
) </end babbling>