I am writting this on behalf of my fiancée who cry s every morning on the scale
Hi Everyone,
Just like the title suggests I am engaged to someone and we are getting married in October. About 3-4 months ago we both wanted to lose weight and look great for our wedding. We both wanted to lose 20 KG and thought a year should be sufficient time to do it.
We both followed the same diet plan which is a low carb diet, cut out all alcohol, pasta/pizzas, chocolate and so on... in simple terms all the good stuff. We are eating smaller portions and aiming for 2 liters a day in purified water and doing a minimum of 10,000 steps a day. We have both been strict and supportive to each other.
Fast track to today and I personally am well on my way and have lost roughly 10kg, but I am not here for me. She has lost 1kg in all that time being strict. We have been to doctors and naturopath. She has done the thyroid testing and a couple of other (Which right now I can not remember), intolerance tests and staying away from those foods.
Her family does NOT have a history of being overweight excluding her mother but that was from a surgery that left her stomach muscles dead and has trouble loosing weight as a result.
She is at a stage of lypo and even though I shall not lie in that i want her to lose weight as well but I don't want her to get it done because 1. we have not found the underlying reason for her lack of ability to lose weight 2. I don't want her to see her under the knife.
I am 33 and she is 29, as she said to me yesterday "It should not be this hard, I am doing the right thing and only 1 kilo". I personally wanted to punch a doctor who said "She is from Mauritius and is an islander so her is born to be fat", if that were true then why is her family stick thin.
Any advice would be great because I honestly don't know how else I can help her.
Assuming you are a guy and taller and heavier than her, she can't eat the same amounts as you eat and expect to lose the same amount of weight.
So make sure the portion sizes are different.
It is also easier for guys to be active in my opinion i.e. I can go running at night. So you need to focus on exercise activities that she can do, assuming you are more active in the day then her, which I bet you are.
If she is from Mauritius, I would encourage her to do what I do...eat a lot of fish.
I weigh every day, naked, after going to the toilet, first thing upon waking before drinking or eating anything.
If she just climbed on the scale at any random time in the day, she is asking for trouble.
Just like me, same time every morning at around 6:30am naked weight after going to the bathroom.
We did go to a naturopath a couple of times and comparative to the first analysis she dropped a kilo in that time of fat and did gain 2 kilos of muscle (Thus 1 kg difference). but that was a month ago and everything has stayed the same since. First consult was around the time we started the diet back in Mid October so its been 4 months now in total
If you're 150% positive she's eating under 1,200 cals a day (which is honestly too low) and she's not losing then something is physically wrong. Otherwise it's impossible to not lose on that much of a deficit. I would be starving.
Under 1200, unless you're really short, is way to few calories. It's dang near impossible to eat a balanced diet under 1200 cals a day, and do the 10k/day, and not be feeling deprived, starving and nutritionally depleted.
A good plan, is the plan that works for you, and just you, that is conducive to weight loss, maintaining, and still having a life.
It's time to take a look at your combined plan, and realize, while it's working for you, for her, it needs some tweaks.
There is nothing wrong with that. We're all different in our needs!
Are you weighing the food? Salt intake could hold in water too.
My brother and I have this problem, he loses weight FAST! where as I won't lose a lb for a month but then I see a drop about 1.5 months in. You just have to be diligent, but I know it's difficult to wait.
I would first make sure you are weighing everything, it's tedious but it eliminates the chance that you are eating more than you think. Also, I would take measurements and pictures! Sometimes the scale won't move but inches will be coming off!
If you're 150% positive she's eating under 1,200 cals a day (which is honestly too low) and she's not losing then something is physically wrong. Otherwise it's impossible to not lose on that much of a deficit. I would be starving.
I have to agree with this.. I saw something like this before, what was happening is the one not losing weight (in this case the husband) was sneaking food when they weren't together, then thinking he'll burn it off exercising. Not accusing anyone just saying I've seen it before.
I have to agree with this.. I saw something like this before, what was happening is the one not losing weight (in this case the husband) was sneaking food when they weren't together, then thinking he'll burn it off exercising. Not accusing anyone just saying I've seen it before.
Honestly, this is the first thing I think of when I hear about people who are eating very low calories, exercising, but not losing weight. It's the first thing I think of because I've done it! Up until a couple of weeks ago, I had been gaining slowly but steadily and lamenting to my sister that "I'm eating the same as I always have and am gaining!" I blamed it on everything from aging/slow metabolism to building more muscle, etc., but the real problem was that I was probably eating 200-800 calories more a day by merely picking (e.g., a tablespoon of peanut butter here an there, an extra slice of cheese) and had stopped weighing my food. Since I've gotten back on track, I am lighter (I don't weigh myself, but I can tell my clothes are starting to fit a little better).
To the OP, you wrote in your post, "I shall not lie in that i want her to lose weight." If she knows you feel that way, she may feel pressured to lose because you want her to, and believe me, that sort of pressure wears away easily when we're confronted with food we want. IMHO, the motivation has to be intrinsic to lose weight successfully. I would have a serious conversation with her to see if there's more to this than you may realize.
Are the doctors saying "you're supposed to be fat" or are they saying "you are at a healthy weight for your height and build"? There is a big difference. You may be interpreting what they say as something negative when really they're just saying she's healthy.
It sounds to me like you're putting pressure on her to lose weight. You cannot compare men's weight loss with women's weight loss. Women lose much much slower than men. She's not eating enough calories and she's probably feeling a lot of deprivation and shame and that's not healthy.
Just an update and to dispel some theories that I am pushing her or influencing her desire to lose weight. Its been around 3 weeks and no weight gain/loss for her in that time. She personally packs my lunch which is the same as hers. Without my knowledge she has seen another doctor, looks at liposuction and wanted to start this weight loss drug called dexamine (I forget how it is spelled).
I had a chat and I said that I wont leave her if she cant lose weight but she got angry and said “You don’t get it, I don’t want to be a fat bride and yes I will fluxuate with weight in life but on my wedding day I have always wanted to look amazing”.
She’s angry because her whole family are thin (expect for her mother but that’s due to an accident). So I ask again aside from not eating correctly, exercising enough or anything like thyroid is there anything else that would prevent someone from losing weight?
I am writting this on behalf of my fiancée who cry s every morning on the scale
