Stands for eye movement desensitization reprocessing.
I've been doing this for other issues and it's been AMAZING in terms of results. So yesterday, when I went in for my session, we focused on my eating issues for the first time. I had been in this pattern where every thursday night I went out with a bunch of friends and ate BADLY and then stayed on track the rest of the week, so I was just maintaining. Maintaining was okay with me (since I am basically at goal), but I was feeling like I wasn't in control of it. Like, every thursday I would try to talk myself down all day and then when I got together with my friends all of my plans went right out the window.
So, yesterday, after the EMDR, I just felt a whole new sense of control and calmness about it. Instead of my usual anxiety at a whole big spread of tempting goodies, I barely noticed them and didn't really have any sort of reaction to it. Usually, even if I manage to avoid putting some in my mouth, I am worrying the whole time that I'm not going to manage. But I hardly gave it a thought.
I'm so curious about whether anyone else has tried it and what your experiences have been. The results regarding the other issues I've been working on seem even more stunning to me.
I'm a psychologist who uses EMDR therapy as my primary treatment psychotherapy and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR therapy worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my role as a facilitator who trains other therapists in EMDR therapy (certified by the EMDR International Assoc. and trained by the EMDR Institute) I have used EMDR successfully with panic disorders, childhood sexual/physical/emotional abuse and neglect, single incident trauma and complex/chronic PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, eating disorders, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams and more.
One of the initial phases (Phase 2) in EMDR psychotherapy involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. So if you start feeling overwhelmed or that it's too intense, you can ground yourself (with your therapist's help in session, and on your own between sessions) and feel safe enough to continue the work.
In my practice, after the Phase 2 work lets us know that my patient is safe enough and able to cope with any emotion and/or physical sensation both during and between EMDR processing sessions, I often suggest we try a much less intense memory first if there is one that happened BEFORE the trauma(s). If there isn't one, then I suggest we start developmentally with the least disturbing memory and work our way "up" to the most disturbing event(s).
Grounding exercises are indispensable in everyday life, and really essential in stressful times. Anyone can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR therapy but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). Anyway, the book is terrific. It's an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also teaches readers lots of helpful techniques that can be used immediately and that are also used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.
One of the key assets of EMDR is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you likely were not during past events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or hand/knee tapping - all forms of bilateral stimulation that should be decided by the client for the client's comfort) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 or so passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and to say just a bit of what you’re noticing. The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable.
Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions. Your therapist can use a variety of techniques to make painful processing less painful, like suggesting you turn the scene in your mind to black and white, lower the volume, or, erect a bullet-proof glass wall between you and the painful scene, and so forth. There are a lot of these kinds of "interventions" that ease the processing. They are called "cognitive interweaves" that your therapist can use, and that also can help bring your adult self's perspective into the work (or even an imaginary Adult Perspective). Such interweaves are based around issues of Safety, Responsibility, and Choice. So therapist questions like "are you safe now?" or "who was responsible? and "do you have more choices now?" are all very helpful in moving the processing along.
In addition to my therapy practice, I roam the web looking for EMDR therapy discussions, try to answer questions about it posted by clients/patients, and respond to the critics out there. It's not a cure-all therapy. However, it really is an extraordinary psychotherapy and its results last. In the hands of a really experienced EMDR therapist, it's the most gentle way of working through disturbing experiences.
I tried it about four years ago to deal with the PTSD associated with the grief associated with having a stillborn child. It worked very well for me, though I never understood why exactly it worked. I also experienced weight loss, but I always assumed that this was a side effect, since I had gained most of my excess weight after the death of my child.
I am quite skeptical about such things. Still, I was having such trouble coping and dealing with some bizarre and aggressive mobbing behavior from others. I was more fearful and tearful than I care to admit, and realized these were hallmarks of PTSD. I searched around for strategies to help me get over things, move on, and give myself some confidence, and I came across this EMDR stuff. I didn't/don't have enough faith in the therapy system to invest time or money in it, so I found some online resources. It helped me deal with being in a room with those people. But then again, I really, really wanted to be healed, so wearing garlic around my neck or voodoo dolls may have accomplished the same goal. Plus, as 'traumas' go, this was rather mild, so easier to get over.
I have just realized a mental stumbling block I have with weight loss, so I may develop a method of EMDR for that.
LaurieDawn...glad you found something to help you.
so, what is so bad about going "out of control" for one night?
given that you dont eat calories worth a week?
of course we go out with friends and want to eat the goodies. the decision isnt taken as we SEE (and of course) WANT that food.... but way before that... I believe in allowing yourself stuff for special occasions instead of denying all the time... thats a way to learn about eating.
control aint forbidding these goodies to yourself. it is smart eating. if I knew I would go out with my buddies I would know what calories the treats are, be well aware I have to "save" for those and then enjoy my fair share without regret. and then I am DONE with these. I tasted them, I felt fine with them, I stopped before I over...ate them and all fine, aint it, in a dietary sense?
of course we look at all the food. we do. skinny folks do. but what we pick and how we deal with it isnt cause "I stared at it, I ate it". thats a symptom. not the desease and not the solution (an excuse to feel good about overmunchin.... dont let excuses get in your way...)
in the end you will have to learn about dealing with those situations and foods. and believe me, skinny foodies scan the buffet just as long as you do. they just make the smarter decisions
Thanks, Dr. PJ. That actually clarified something for me I hadn't been aware of. I am gonna ask my therapist if we can keep the lights/beeps on a little longer bc I feel almost like I dread having her turn them off, like I get into a groove and then am knocked out. Maybe that is a necessary part of it or maybe I could get deeper into it if it went longer. I'll have to ask her about it.
The reason I started EMDR was bc my husband, who I had been w since I was 19 (25 yrs ago!) fell in love w someone else and completely shocked me w it. I thought we were really happy and I was crazy about him and BAM it felt like I was blindsided. I spent the better part of four months miserable and in tears before I had two EMDR sessions over it (so far) and I am so amazed at how at peace I feel w the whole thing and that I am enjoying life and looking forward to my future again. My husband has mostly been sitting on the couch in tears lately but I just feel kinda done and excited about whatever is coming next. I dropped him off at the airport today and he's gonna be gone for a week and rather than missing him or looking forward to some sort of contact I was just relieved and free, got a bazillion things on my to do list done and had a really nice time w my kids. I was definitely progressing in talk therapy and on my own but I swear the EMDR made a night and day difference.
PatPat, The problem w being out of control is being out of control. What you say you do is not out of control, but in fact seems very controlled. You say you know the calorie counts before hand and then you stick to some set number and stop. I say bravo to that. That is what I'd like to do. I would not have felt the need to have any kind of therapy in relation to my eating if I could do that.
I am very impressed that you are so on top of things only 12 pounds into your journey, but I have to warn you that there have been times that I thought I had it all figured out, too, only to find later that it was more complicated. I have now been eating this way for just about three years and I am really not tempted to drop all I've learned about myself to start doing what works for you. I am two pounds below goal and even though I very much doubt that I have magically intuited some absolute answer to "how one should eat," I am going to stick w my woe.
LaurieDawn, I'm so happy it (or anything!) was helpful to you. I feel the same way about not knowing why or how. When I walk out of the office, I don't feel any different, but then thinking about the last two weeks since the husband-related EMDR, I am so grateful for the sharp turn I've taken.
has anyone here tried EMDR?
LaurieDawn...glad you found something to help you.
