Angry at myself
 

Yes I'm excited I'm losing weight and actually enjoy running. But I'm so angry I let myself get this way. And sometimes I think "am I really doing this? Will I fail or succeed?" Also even though the scale says I'm losing and my clothes are baggy my mind tells me I look the same. Will I feel his way all the way through this journey? Will I never see myself but overweight when I won't be? Ugh. His feels like a mental battle with myself :(

If you look in the mirror, and you still see the same person as so many pounds ago, you need to really work at how you regard yourself. You've got 6 cheering bananas. There's no way you still look the same, but the fact you don't see it, has a lot to do with your hatred towards yourself.

Just know there's nothing to be ashamed of.
Not for the weight, not for the fact you are on a diet and also not because you dislike yourself.

You are not the only who gained weight and "let themselves go". You are not the only who is on a diet. You're not the only one who needs to lose so much weight. And you are not the only one with a distorted image of self.

I think it is time for you to go shopping or go and do something special. Buy a REALLY nice outfit, get your hair, nails and yes, even make-up done. Go and eat at a fancy restaurant with your hubby, looking that shiny (you know, fancy, but one that offers mostly healthy meals and try to pick what you'll eat BEFORE that night!). Then, if you can, spend a romantic evening with your husband. A hotel, with a spa, if it must. Get a massage or let your husband give you one. Pamper yourself and forget about the girl you left at home, because in that fancy dress, you're a movie star.

And if you have a supportive husband, talk to him about this and let him point out what he likes about you and don't be shy to ask him about something physical! I'm quite sure he'll love your eyes or your hair or your smile... And next time in front of a mirror, look at that what he loves about you and force yourself into believing that no one has such lovely eyes (or whatever) than you.

Stop focusing on what you dislike, no matter how much you hate it. Because I'm quite sure you are a wonderful person. :hug:

All of those words made me cry…… the truth in them!! Thank you. It is a struggle. So much stress around me. Good and bad. Thank you for kind words and the " love and truth" :hug:

Even after I really did start noticing a difference, I still am very critical. I am down over 50 pounds yet I still haven't bought new clothes. I have some older clothes in a slightly smaller size that are getting me through yet I still wear the baggy clothes as well. It's almost like I don't want to accept it, or that I won't fully accept it until I am at my goal weight or size.

So yeah, I totally get where you are coming from. Like the others said, we need to accept and love ourselves no matter who we are. That is so much easier said than done. But we need to work on it because we are so worth it, and if we don't then eventually we'll be right back where we started. Congrats on your progress so far, you are doing a phenomenal job. You can, and will, get there. :-)

Forkeeps, of course it's easier said than done. Just like losing weight is easier said than done. But you are losing the weight, so you can love yourself again as well.

Just like losing weight is worth the effort, so is learning to love yourself. Losing weight will not make you happy on its own. It goes hand in hand with loving yourself again. Some love themselves after weightloss because "my god, what have they achieved!", some need to go the extra mile and also work on feeling good about themselves.

Apparently not seeing the weight loss is a psychological thing, you're brain takes much longer to adjust to your change in appearance.

I've experienced it myself. I've been a good 40lbs lower than my highest weight of 200lbs+ for over two years now, and I still don't myself as being smaller some days. I've found the best way to give my mind a little wake up is to go try on new clothes at a store. Looking at yourself in a different environment, in different clothes,can be enough to get your mind to pick up on the changes.

I seem to have the opposite problem. I see that I've lost a few pounds, look in the mirror and think I am looking good, and then BAM I see a photo of myself and think I still look awful.

I don't have an answer, but I do force myself to think about positives rather than focus on negatives. It is hard, and I am learning, but positive attitudes have been found to have a very good effect on weight loss efforts.

Oh, pictures are just nasty. First of all, they add pounds. Second of all, you see yourself from a different angle (mirrored versus regular) which is always a bit "odd".

There should be a law against taking pictures of people who are uncomfortable about their weight or bodies. I swear I'll kill my in-laws if they take pictures of me next week! Well, maybe heavily injure them... Okay, I'll just lash out... Without them hearing it. :D

I have struggled with body image too, so I totally relate. :hug:


As hard as it is to take photos, I highly recommend them as you go through this journey (wearing the same thing and in the same light and body position). The scale is only one way to "see" what's going on. You're doing a great job! This isn't easy at all, but the more weight you lose the easier it is to see a difference. For example, when I lost weight from the time I was 210 till I was 180, I couldn't tell as much as when I have gone (in the past) from 180 to 150. 30 lbs. is a lot but more noticeable the smaller we get. If you still don't see yourself in a positive light, then perhaps it would be a good idea to talk to a therapist? I mean that in the kindest way possible. :hug:

You'll notice. It seemed to all happen at once when I got to the end of losing weight. It's like suddenly I was thin. Keep jogging!