I find thinking of myself taking a u-turn. If you were driving down the road and discovered you had made a wrong turn you would make a u-turn, right? That's how I think about it. The first few days of getting back on track can be rough, I'm not gonna lie.

It's really, really simple. That doesn't mean it's easy, though. Don't listen to people who say you can't stop cheating NOW. That's what you need to do. Cheating on your diet will put you back where you started before you even realize it. The longer you allow this to go on, the more weight will be on top of whatever you want to lose, and your habits will be worse off as well! Get your habits sorted out.

You know what to do. Get rid off caloric junk food and even "healthy" calorie dense food should be strictly limited and aren't really that necessary. I've noticed a lot of people tend to eat peanut butter, fruit, almonds, nuts and seeds, oils, etc which are seen as "healthy" but you have to be careful with those calories. Set a calorie goal that just high enough to keep you feeling all right and stick to it.

I'm not recommending you be too strict with calorie counting, though. Try to make sure you get enough protein, fat and veggies. That usually means cutting out most bread, snacks, grains, and starches. You can still eat small amounts of that stuff, of course, but definitely eat be sure you're getting your veggies!

Lacie, i have to strongly disagree with some of your advice.

It is counterproductive to avoid healthy food of any type. And some of the things you mention are not even high calorie e.g. fruit.

I have come around to the idea of eating healthy fats. fats are essential in the diet. If you restrict them too much you limit the functionality of your body. and there will come a rebound sooner or later if your calories are too low.

Nuts and seeds contain essential nutrients for the body.

Oil helps make food taste good so you can choose good oils like cold pressed oils for cooking. I don't know how anyone can survive for long periods of steamed food. Or without good tasting foods.

If you deprive yourself of nutrients you reduce the health of your body over all and its ability to cope with the stresses of dieting. you can get run down through long periods of calorie restriction and you start to get depressed, or tired or lethargic and when all that happens you tend to get hungry. I know i've been through it many many times.

I'm well into my fourth month Lacie and so far i've had no weight gain eating nuts and seeds and oils every day. You can check up on what i do on the link below where i list all my foods since day 1. I eat lots of carbs but i don't over eat anything. My calories are under control and i deal with my appetite when it becomes an issue. I feed my hunger also.

Pattience, I 100% agree with your views on consuming fat. My fat content is actually high in my diet and to me it is vital to my function and success. I do limit my breads/starches/dairy and mainly eat protein, fats, vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds. When I do eat those more carby things, I keep it under control as you said. Everything has to be under control no matter what you eat.

Sometimes it gets really hard to stay motivated when you are doing it right and not seeing results. This is not unfamiliar to me. What usually happens to me after a long plateau is I get discouraged and rebel against all the strict rules. Once sanity returns (regaining has a sobering effect) I ask myself what I could have done better. Right now I'm on the" losing weight " side of the curve, but I have learned from experience that my body will push back at some point. It is pretty predictable for me. I think that what I have learned is not to beat myself up, but to keep trying. The next time, I will try staying with what has been working (in my case managing carbs) and shake things up a bit by alternating fasting days with days when it is ok to up food intake.

Some fruit is high in calories : bananas are quite high. Dried fruit is quite high, pineapple, and other sugary fruit is high in calories if you don't limit it . Any fruit juice is high in sugar and not very filling. I still eat fruit, because it's convenient, I like it, and it's more nutritious than bread.

As far as nuts and seeds, there is no denying they are high in calories. They don't make me feel full at all, either. I like them sometimes as a sprinkling on salad, but I don't think they are an overall good food for weight loss.

Also, patience, there is nothing wrong with steamed food. Steamed veggies are a lifesaver on a diet. I had steamed veggies for dinner last night. So for about 100 calories, I was pretty full. I find them to be delicious, as I add seasoning and it isn't bland.

As far as oil, it doesn't offer much nutrition for how caloric it is. I would rather save up those fat grams for something that actually has flavor, rather than just oil, which doesn't really add much to a dish for me.

Limiting fruit has been a good move for me, however low fat and counting calories has not worked. I don't think I'll ever do that again. I think it is more about your metabolism and how you work with it than will power.

That's why it's so important for people to learn their own bodies. You can get 1,001 opinions from other people on what works for them, but until you become your own guinea pig, you will not know what works for you.

Thank you everyone for this GREAT conversation! I apologize for not jumping back into it sooner, but I have been off and running and that has been reflected not only in the number on the scale but by my mood as well. I've been stressed and I have been depressed.

Not ever having tried to lose weight before, never having attempted to eat 'correctly' for health, I didn't know that, for me, stress and depression trigger bad eating habits. I know now. The pizza, candy, bread and ice cream literally did something psychically and physiologically to me to give me a moment's peace from my feelings. Then remorse and shame would set in. I don't want to be a lazy, obese dad. But I just hit a wall that has resulted in a 12 pound weight gain.

Last Tuesday when I went to my medical weight management program and weighed in, I was up 5.6 pounds from the previous week. That previous week I had been up 2.4 pounds and etcetera, etcetera. I literally began to cry. HOW CAN IT TAKE A MONTH TO LOSE 5 POUNDS AND ONLY A WEEK TO PUT IT BACK ON? The reality that I was moving so rapidly in the opposite direction of my original goal shocked me into my right mind and my nutritionist and I had a good, level-headed conversation about next steps. They are:
1) Write a list of "rewards" of "benefits" of weight loss and carry it with me to refer to anytime I feel like "falling off the wagon".
2) Revisit the MyFitnessPal app that I had been using for food tracking that resulted in the initial loss of 30 pounds
3) Carry a sack packed with a few healthy snack items so that if I am out and start to get hungry, but won't be home soon, I won't go to fast food
4) Add some physical activity beyond what I do simply in the course of a day

I shall do these things and we shall see. I'm shooting for success but I am keeping this week's goal as reasonable as it gets for me. 1 pound. I will lose 1 pound this week. And, next week, I will lose another, fingers crossed.

All the insight here are so valuable to me. All the support you have offered by joining this conversation is incalculably priceless to me because each and everyone of you has made me feel welcomed and supported.

THANK YOU!!

To the OP: Maybe consider adding a goal to your list? Not sure about your current fitness level, but how about a 5k or a Tough Mudder or something similar? It will give you something to focus on, and imagine how proud you'll feel when, in the end, you can say: "I did X."

Been thinking about doing the same thing myself. Maybe I should take my own advice. lol

That's a great idea banananutmuffin ! I have gone to Zumba 2 days in a row (though I only lasted 40 minutes and 20 minutes respectively), but I could make the goal of one group activity a day at the gym. I am going to try yoga this evening. There is also an app another member told me about called 'C25K' which he lost a lot of weight with and got fit using. It takes the user through baby step paces from Couch to a 5K condition. I'm worried about running because I am staring down a short barrel at a left hip replacement, but I definitely think your idea of a NSG is a really good one. Thanks so much :-)

I just ask myself "well what else are you going to do?" The way I was is very predictable and clearly OK to live with - staying fat. I can always go back. But the downers of being fat get to "weigh down" (LOL) on me. So there isn't much of a choice if I no longer want to deal with the downsides of being fat, so if I don't want that unhappiness anymore, there isn't much of a choice to make - eventually I'll have to do something about it if its making me unhappy and it might as well be today.