Hi, I'm back for like the 4th time.

I got down to 176ish while my husband was deployed. He got home in May and I'm back up to 195 (maybe more, I haven't been on the scale in a few days).

I'm sitting here on my couch eating at 130 in the morning even though I'm so full I feel sick and I'm realizing...I'm a freaking beast. I'm disgusting. I had to buy bigger pants again. I hate myself so much right now.

I'm going to throw this plate of food away...I hate wasting but I hate having no self control even more. I need to work harder at losing this weight. My husband has been gaining again too and it's my bad habits rubbing off on him. We need to get ourselves together.

I'm just so disappointed in myself...I don't hate myself. I think I'm beautiful even if I am fairly fat. But I am disappointed in my lack of willpower. Disappointed that I stopped striving for me goal. And disappointed that all the cute clothes I bought in the 170s don't fit me anymore.

Time to get back on track I suppose. Swapping the snacks out for a water bottle and hopping back on track. Feeling sorry for myself is just going to lead to emotional eating.

I can probably do this, right?

No probably about it. You can do this!

And btw, you are right you are beautiful.

Don't ever stop weighing yourself. I notice when i do that is when i start gaining. ( guess i dont realize what i'm doing). Many of us have been on the roller coaster but need to find that one thing. For me, I'm going to step on the scale for rest of my life.

Four years ago, the biggest mistake I made was getting away from 3FC, but I knew I was falling off the wagon...no, I was choosing to jump off the wagon...and I was embarrassed. I felt guilty being surrounded by such wonderful people here who kept encouraging me when I didn't want to do it anymore. I wanted to cheat. I wanted to eat anything and everything. I didn't want to exercise. Huge, huge mistake, and I keep my old ticker up beside my new one as a reminder of that mistake. You said you are back for the 4th time. Please don't leave again. Even if you check in only once a week. Don't give yourself an easy out. Remember what it's like to feel like you do right now. You can definitely lose the weight again, and you will! And when you do, and you are feeling good about it, don't leave. I am proud of you for coming back! I am proud of you for throwing out the food and picking up the water bottle! Get ready to get back into those 170's clothes because it's right around the corner! And I'm glad you know you are beautiful, because you are. Now, here you go, here's your seat back on the wagon, right beside me.

You wrote a post that so many of us could have written. First, just getting it down and coming back to 3FC is a huge step. Second, realizing that you need to get back to what works is great. Whenever I lose some of the weight that I'm trying to get off, some song starts in my brain telling me that a little snack (there's no such thing as a little snack in my world) won't hurt. Before you know it, I'm back to where I was losing the same 10 pounds over and over. By the end of the year, I'll probably be down about 70 pounds. But in actuality, I will have lost closer to 110 pounds.......don't I wish I'd stuck with it instead of giving in!!!

So, join in with all of us who have had some ups and downs. We're here to support each other and hopefully get to the point where we may still think about eating something off plan, but we avoid doing so!

My husband is deployed also. He is a civilian contractor and goes for 6 months comes home a month and leaves again. When he is gone I do so much better. I gained weight last time he was home too. We are social drinkers, but when he is gone because I'm in a town with no friends I never drink so those are calories I don't consume. When he gets home he wants to eat at all the places he has missed and go to our local bar hang outs and of course I join in with him. I'm not working at this time and so I started going to a gym just 2 blocks from the house. I lift weights to build metabolism boosting muscle and do 20-30 minutes of cardio after 4x a week. Doing the weight lifting has encouraged me to go low carb and really watch what I eat. About ever 5-10lb loss I hit a plateau that drives me nuts... I just got to remember this next time home.. I eat how its good for me... Mr. I never get fat can do whatever he wants. This weight loss is for me and this time I am keeping it up!!! Get determined with me. We can do it.

Aw, don't beat yourself up. We've all been there. Just pick yourself up and resolve to move forward and get in control again. I just did the same exact thing. When you're feeling out of control get up and do something that will take you away from the temptation of eating - go for a walk, go to the gym, go for a bike ride, visit a friend or even just get on this forum and post about how you're feeling. I also echo what hiddenstar said about the scale. Weigh yourself regularly even if you don't like what you see. That is the number one thing that keeps me in check and on track. Hang in there. Losing weight and staying in control is not always easy, but it feels awesome when you do it. And you can do this.

You can totally do this! Like Veloria said, we've all been there. Just don't give up and you'll get there

You took the first step- you came back! That is HUGE! Please don't sell yourself short. I think everyone here has dealt with this same problem at one time or another; some of us a bunch of times! You are here now and that's what matters. Let us encourage you! Let us help hold you accountable! You can do this, we all can. But I can say I personally cannot do it alone. I need support. And why try doing it alone when there is such a great community here waiting to support you? You've got this!!!

You can do it! You've already proven that, and you can do it again. I have gained back a few pounds, which seems like more because I am short. It's just a constant slipping, gain a few, and then hop back on the wagon. We all have to do it. Big hugs. It really stinks feeling like you've slipped back to the beginning, but you can do this!