should i try to lose weight or not?
 

I know it's a weird question-- especially on a weight loss forum where people are doing the work. But I welcome your comments or ideas.

For years I've made attempts at losing weight, because I know I should want to be thinner. I would like to be thinner. I'd like to cross my legs and not have my weight be the first thing people notice about me.

I don't have any health problems, so other than cosmetics, I can't seem to find a reason to make such a huge commitment, and make all the changes that are necessary.

Bottom line: It just doesn't seem like the pay off is commensurate with the work.

Weight loss is easy.

And the rewards are potentially huge.

It did help my health (I am off of blood pressure and cholesterol meds now) but more than that it did boost my self-esteem. I look and feel great, for the first time in 20 years. That's two fricking lost decades!

This may not be "your time" to lose weight judging by how you feel, but keep an open mind to weight loss so that if you feel you are more ready some day, you seize the opportunity.

Weight loss is easy.

We all know those things in life that are truely hard work. Don't make me list them.

Ha, ha. Weight loss for me has been such hard work so far. But I know getting my weight back down again will improve my self-confidence. It already did. I also feel great. As you said, I can cross my legs again, I fit into an airline seat, I can run upstairs now without huffing and puffing. Most of all, I feel ready for a new relationship and I find guys look at me now and random guys great me on the street, whereas I was completely invisible 50 lbs ago. I want to have the full choice. Finally, it helps to be thinner when hunting for jobs, which I am in the process now. If only to wear a designer business suit and looking more "professional".

Don't stop trying....it will happen. I have tried to lose many times in my life and have been successful in the past. My problem is keeping it off. I lose 20 lbs and think, Wow..I look good...I deserve to eat that bag of chips now. Gets me everytime...hee hee!!!

I know this will sound really cliché, but what about just focus on doing whatever seems reasonable to improve/maintain your health? I don't know if the Fat Nutritionist is up your alley or not, but her site might be worth taking a look at if you haven't yet. :) She's an advocate of Health At Every Size, which might be a philosophy that works for you.

How old are you? You may not have health problems now, but the longer you are overweight, the more likely something will come up.

I'm 48, and have lost the weight for the last time, as I will keep it off now for life, because I've changed my lifestyle, not just dieted. I'm also thinner than my husband has ever known me, in 22 years, as well as the most fit I've ever been since I've known him.

I didn't have MAJOR health problems, but did have knee problems develop in the past few years. Losing the weight has helped that, but I'm likely always going to have some issues with my one knee. if I had kept the weight off that I lost in my mid-thirties instead of gaining it back, it is likely that I wouldn't have this problem.

I will tell you that I feel SO much better now than before, and feel better about myself.

I think that it would be difficult to lose weight if you really are not wanting to lose. Why don't you concentrate on not gaining, eating healthy, and general wellness? Do things that don't seem like so much work. Then you can at least maintain.

Maybe I've just had a really easy life. To me, being consistent with my food plan is very difficult.

I haven't hear of her, but I will check her out. Thanks.

I'm 46. Maybe since I've always been heavy I just don't know how good it would feel to be thin.

Yeah, I've been at the same weight for about 18 years now. But maybe I could just make a list of the things I'm willing to do that would seem beneficial and try to do those.

I wish I could say weight loss has ever been easy for me. Getting my bachelor's degree and then my master's degree were both far easier and much more fun than weight loss, despite having to work full time and drive 300 - 500 miles a week for the while working full time during most of graduate school. Teaching college classes part time while working 40-60 hours a week as a probation officer? Also hard, but still easier than weight loss. Having healthy self esteem and an active social life without being a doormat in platonic and romantic relationships? Hard, but still easier than weight loss.

I have found ways to make weight loss easier, but it's still a constant struggle, like babysitting a 300 lb toddler. Just keeping food out of my mouth on a minute-by-minute basis, is far more difficult than it should be.

Even so, I wish I had put in the effort when I was still young and healthy. Instead, I had more important and more interesting things to do, and then the health problems started cropping up, and weight loss became a higher priority, but not high enough to fully succeed. I valued my career and education more than I valued my health and appearance.

Before I realized it, I my health problems cost me my career and the ability to use my education.

Postponing weight loss until you experience significant health problems, is like waiting until you need a root canal to start brushing your teeth.

It only gets harder, so the sooner you start, the less work you'll have to put in, andthe fewer ingrained habits you'll have to relearn.

I am a bit taller than you and at your age I weighed 204 pounds. I am 65 now, continue to have excellent health. But carrying that much weight on a short frame did major damage to my knees and I will need knee replacements in the future. I am 145 now, 10 pounds of which I have regained from 135. I don't know how I stood being so overweight for so many years as the 10 pounds I regained make my clothes so uncomfortable. I lost most of my weight slowly over the 10 years from 50 to 60.

You might not think its worth it now, but when you lose weight and fit into smaller clothes and start getting compliments and second looks from guys you'll wonder why you waited so long.

The energy is unbelieveable. After awhile, it keeps you to wanting to move.

But you have to be ready mentally, to start. I really recommend that you just start with a few lifestyle changes. Drop soda, eat more fruits and vegetables, etc. And every once in awhile add something new.

It sounds like you're lying to yourself. We all do it every once in a while. It helps alleviate the feeling of failure when we can't seem to find the motivation or discipline to lose the weight. Making excuses though is never a good alternative to being healthy.

Just because you don't feel adverse effects from the weight does not mean that they don't exist. Humans find a way to cope with chronic maladies by ignoring them after a while. In the summer I started going to physical therapy for a pelvic injury that was caused by my pregnancy. I'd been living with some pain for 2 yrs before I decided to get help for it. At first the PT asked me how my lower back felt. I said fine. Each day when I went in she asked me how my lower back felt, and it was always fine. In fact I was a little annoyed that she kept asking me that because my "pain" was in my hip and pelvis so why did she keep asking me about my lower back? Finally one day as she was doing an adjustment she asked me how my lower back felt and I said FINE. She then poked me really hard in the backside and I jumped off the table in pain and anger that she would do that. She said that's not supposed to hurt and showed me on my arm the amount of pressure she had jabbed me with.... inconsequential, I could barely feel it on my arm. Apparently that pain had been there for years and because it was chronic I had simply accepted it as normal. Did you know that your lower back is not supposed to hurt when you poked it? I didn't know that until recently. Now that I have been doing PT for a few months I can suddenly feel that I had really limited range of motion all over my body, that small movements caused me great pain and that I was just accepting it as normal. My point is that you may not realize what's ailing you because it's ailing you for so long. What if you lost 30lbs and suddenly realized that you can move so much more freely, that it doesn't require so much energy to get up off a chair, it's happened to all of us.

I'm not judging your attitude, because believe I've been there many times. When I start to feel that contentment of "why should I lose weight, I don't need to look like a super model." I start to search around in my motivation quotes for these...

"Those who argue for their limitations generally get to keep them..."
"If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse"

It's not a weird question. It might be THE question because I believe motivation lays at the heart of any successful weight loss attempt.

I have to also say not having health problems is VASTLY different from being healthy. You can have $10 to your name and you aren't broke but boy are you heading for trouble.

I cannot explain in words how awesome losing 50 lbs has been. Forget appearance or even self confidence. Just LIVING just being, every second of every day is so much better with less weight. I move freer, I almost glide. My head is clearer, yes there is a mind body connection. I have more energy, mood is improved.

Whether you know it or not you are compromising your life essentially at a higher weight. Health issues for sure down the road. higher chance for cancer for instance. But more than that our bodies AND minds just do not function as well at higher weights. So forget appearance, you are compromising your being.

I still have a ways to go, but I am never going back. There is no food on the planet even close to how lethargic and just hard moving and being that being severely overweight makes you become.

Ha, the last thing I want is compliments and people to notice me. Fear of attention is one of my biggest payoffs for staying fat. But thanks for trying, and I'm glad you're able to enjoy the attention.

I think this is what I'm going to do. Since the whole reason I'm second guessing losing weight is because it doesn't seem like it's worth the work, I'm just going to change habits that are making me feel bad in the here and now. I'm going to cut out certain kinds of food make me feel bad after I eat them: fast food, candy, soda, and cereal. Drinking water and walking make me feel better, so I'm going to add more of those. I'll just do that until I stop losing weight, and then reevaluate.

I know there are adverse effects, even if I'm in denial about them, but losing weight is a lot of work and I'm wondering if it's worth the trade off. So right now I'm trying to decide if I want it enough to do the work. Right now, I'm just going to do the few things I mentioned above because I KNOW those will make me feel better, and I'm willing to do them, and they don't seem too difficult.

I started at 47 this current and forever weight loss and then maintaining journey. How is your blood work? And your blood pressure? Are those good? Cholesterol? How is your CV? Can you run for any distance? How is your strength?

You cannot equate being pain free with being healthy. I've only been in the hospital once in my life for a severely broken wrist at 12. Ironically I've a calf pull now from tennis and that is literally the only other time I've been to a doctor for other than check ups and colds, one pink eye my entire life. And oh yeah sleep apnea completely due to my weight. I did that to me.

No joint problems. So no major health problems but I was NOT healthy. And the train of health problems was coming FAST for me. I am sure I was heading to type 2 diabetes at the minimum. I got way too winded way to fast.

Now my BP has gone from say 135/85 to 116/65. I've knocked about 20-25 heart beats per minute down. What is that in a day? Well multiply by 1,440. Then a week? A year?

46 start now. I was going to say in 20s, 30s, you had time. But that bad health train is coming, you don't want it to reach the station. Of course 1 out of 100 seem to do OK more or less health wise at higher weights their whole lives. I'd still say they compromise their energy and clarity. But are you willing to bank on being that 1 out of 100?

How is losing weight a lot of work? It might be hard to change habits but it is NOT a lot of work. Not getting up to have a candy bar is not hard work. It might be hard, but I agree with Ian it isn't hard work. Now helping keep my home clean THAT is a lot of work to me.

The OP clearly stated that, to her, losing weight is alot of work, and very difficult. That is her reality.

It is also my reality, so I get where she is coming from.

I'm so happy for people who find it terribly easy to lose and maintain the loss -- YAY for them, you won the lotto! But perhaps they could recognize that their reality isn't EVERYONE'S reality. Given how overweight our society has become I could hazard to guess that their reality isn't even the majority's reality.

Thinpossible: I would suggest to you that there is a bit of a "gift" hidden in your attitude. Many people are just DESPERATE to get the weight off. If you don't have that horrible feeling of pressure, you can take an approach of just starting the ball rolling by changing one small thing. Then when that change has become habit and you feel really comfortable with it, change another small thing, and then another, and then another, etc.

Even if you lose very slowly, so what? You will still be losing and even more importantly, you won't be GAINING. I would say you have identified enough positives to losing weight that it is worth at least that minimal amount of effort to start. No need to do a 180 on ALL your habits all at once and make a huge, painful dramatic lifestyle change!

Pick a small thing and go from there. As you proceed you might find yourself revisiting your motivations for losing weight and finding new ones... you never know!

Just an idea! :)

How is losing weight NOT hard work? Running ten miles would take less than two hours; losing 10 pounds would take me months of HARD WORK – mentally and physically.

Losing weight is hard - if it wasn’t, everyone would be skinny.

Great post. And weight loss is hard for me too. I've never heard known anyone to say that it's easy. I have worked HARD to get to where I am.

Well it can be hard work. But it can also be changing habits that gets easier and easier and easier and becomes second nature.

And exercise can become very plaeasurable not hard work. I didn't say it didn't take TIME. But it isn't necessarily hard work. Now some people find cleaning pleasurable, I don't. But it takes time. So yes I get the 'hard work' for some not others.

Comes down to attitude. But no losing weight doesn't have to be hard work. I can think of a million harder things, personally. And I suppose that is the crux, personslly.

And getting my ball rolling again was hard work. I was a carb addict and the first few weeks were hard almost to the point I felt ill at times. But I was determined to not be a hostage to carbs the rest of my life. So worth it and so much easier after the first month.

I will also say it is work. Just not what I would say 'hard'. Thankfully so appreciative I have the means to make good food choices. I grew up on public assistance. My mom had a lot of things stacked against her. THAT was hard for her and me. Moving and playing sports and enjoying it is not hard, at least that is my attitude. Eating yummy but good food is not hard. It does take time and commitment. But maybe I just refuse to see it as hard because it is so important and so worth it.

For me, weight loss is hard work mentally AND physically. It has been for as long as I can remember.

I know many people look at me and see a lazy waste of space. I've worked all my life at weight loss and could only succeed at loss when I gave up almost everything else.

Looking back, I'm a little less hard on myself. If I had not put in all that work, I would surely have been 800 or more pounds.

If you're not ready to commit to weight LOSS, consider committing making healthier choices with the goal of "not gaining." That's where I started. I only made changes I was willing to make even if no weight loss resulted.

I've lost very gradually, and that's ok with me. I'm not on a timetable any more. I have no deadline. It's not easy, but I am making it no harder than it has to be.

Ultimately, you will follow your priorities. You will put your efforts into whatever you care about most.

You sound like me in a way. I hate attention. Now that I'm 30 lbs down, the guy in front of me at the grocery checkout will turn around MANY times to try and make eye contact. I just ignore them, but it feels nice...

I think your plan sounds great! I haven’t been doing this as long as some of the previous posters, but the one thing I would suggest is to have replacements/substitutions for the things you want to change. Maybe have gum around instead of candy. Have some lowfat string cheese, natural applesauce, carrots, or protein bars, so you don’t pick-up the fast food, and you can go home and cook and not be starving or think you’re starving.

I think you’ll also be surprised how much you like some of the changes that happen when you start losing weight. I’ve been doing some workout videos, and I LOVE the little muscles on my arms… love, love, love… Didn’t expect it, and it is totally worth it :D . Honestly making your post makes me think you know you need to lose the weight, whether difficult or not.

It’s difficult for me too.

Well, there are a number of reasons weight loss is difficult for me. I don't like to exercise, I love junk, I'm very inconsistent and undisciplined. It's my greatest struggle. About the only thing I'm consistent in is keeping my house clean and going to bed on time, everything else is just hit or miss.

But I think people's suggestions of making a couple of small changes may be doable.

OP, I think you have to do whatever feels best for you. But, one comment you made sticks out for me.

Being overweight is not keeping you as invisible as you think; people may approach a fit/thin person more often than one who is carrying extra pounds, but trust me, others notice fat people just a much.

The only difference is the thin/fit person gets talked to his or her face and the fat person gets talked to behind their back.:dizzy::hug:

While I can understand you want to encourage the OP by saying that weight loss is easy, saying so is actually demeaning and makes people feel worse.

OP, think of it this way. Losing weight IS hard but you know what's harder? Taking care if someone who is ill. That's the position you put your loved ones in when you don't take care if your health. Do you want that for your children? Do you want someone running your errands because you can't? Tying your shoes because you can't reach? I always think about that when I want to give up.

I am going to learn something from the original poster. Cleaning isn't hard for her and I bet it would be a lot easier for me if I adopted some of my lessons from weight loss: attitude, habits, small changes, just small things adding up.

I think saying weight loss is hard is self defeating. But it's all attitude isn't it? I love junk also. But my attitude/ priorities changed. Also I thought I wasn't one of the 'lucky ones' for who it isn't easy or had a bad metabolism. Maybe that is true for many people, we are not all created equal metabolism wise. But I learned for me it was complete BS. When I changed my habits I lost weight.

So I have to adapt weight loss success to cleaning success. Maybe the OP can do it in reverse. And talk about house cleaning. Your first and most important 'house' is your body.

And I bet I love junk food just as much as the OP. But it was literally killing me. And it was hard to change. But everyone deserves to give themselves a month no matter how hard to go off it. That was hard. Now it isn't.

Also everything is connected when you are eating junk your body is so tired and malnourished, yes you can be that and overweight, that exercising is hard. You have to break the cycle then it gets much easier. New habits. I have to break my aversion to cleaning cycle. Different things are hard for different people, I posted that above.

I am trying to change my attitude to cleaning saying and thinking it isn't hard. How foes saying its hard make anything better?

I think saying it can be hard to start but then gets easier is much more encouraging. If we say it is hard hard hard hard all the time forever that would be discouraging to me.

Diamondgeog - I understand what you are saying. I always say that, for me, weight loss is 95% food management, 5% exercise, and 5% attitude. That attitude part is definitely important!

There are, for me, hard days and easy days. At the beginning, way more hard days than easy, that's for sure. But just because something is hard, doesn't mean it isn't VERY worth while.

It does get easier, though for me -- so far -- I wouldn't go so far as to say it is overall an easy task. That's just me. I'm not that far into this go-round for me, less than a year. Maybe if I can truly learn to maintain it will truly get easier.

But whether I'm having a easy day OR a really frickin' hard one, I'm going to stay committed. Because being healthy is what I want.

But I take your point about encouragement. Embrace the SUCK at the beginning, knowing that the SUCK will lessen over time as you build good habits, wean yourself off of junk, and adopt new healthy strategies. And be prepared for the hard days, too, and know how to make it through them. :)

Yes it is, I'm not saying it's a good habit, and I'm sure it doesn't make things easier. I'm just saying it here in this thread because I'm trying to decide if the difficulty is worth it. If it was easy, I would just sail through, and there would be no debate. But I get what you're saying.

I will try this. I didn't used to be neat, in fact I was pretty messy, but with 6 people in the house it was worth it to invent a system where I could keep it clean and get things running smoothly, because the alternative was not fun. I will try to apply the same mindset to losing weight.

This is how i started on my 100 lb loss journey. Just starting off slow

First i had to be ready though deep inside to COMMIT because i knew it would be absolutely pointless to start this journey only to regain, it had to be looked at as a permanent life-style change and i had to want it, which i did, after 17 yrs. Not to eat the entire elephant but start one bite at a time. i NEVER thought i would get to the slimness that i am now, i thought that if i was successful at losing a couple or a few sizes then i would be happy. i knew i had HAD to sub out that daily bag of candy, M&M's, cakes, cookies for something much much lower calorie and HEALTHIER. And i had to reduce portion sizes just a bit (this is the hardest thing for me as i like enormous portions of food). I also HAD to find out the calorie count of food. i no longer count calories but i had to be made aware the general calorie count of food and the phrase that was the catalyst of my change was from Einsteins (basically) if you keep doing the same thing you can keep expecting the same result. NOTHING in my life was going to change re the weight unless i implemented changes and i didn't do them all at once. But the reward of seeing the weight start coming off pushed me into full on mode. Yes it's still hard but it's doable and it is worth it but it really has to come from a decision deep inside. Or maybe you are the kind of person that can start with a few changes and see if it sticks and gets the ball rolling.

Weight loss boiled down to it's most basic element IS somewhat easy (counting calories, exercising, not consuming more than you burn) i think what is not easy if the place food holds in your life and how much discipline you're willing to expend.

At any rate, GOOD LUCK to you!! :carrot:

This is it in a nutshell. I'm way too attached to food and don't have much discipline. But maybe I can change. Thank you, it's inspiring to see how much weight you've lost!

I think the easy/difficult distinction boils down to:

Weight loss is not TECHNICALLY difficult. It's not mentally challenging to cut oneself smaller portions, add up the calories of foods, or walk around the block.

Weight loss is PSYCHOLOGICALLY very difficult. For people who love and self-soothe with food, it's very difficult to resist the short-term satisfaction of eating, time after time after time. (It's also very doable if you're motivated, which brings us back to the OP's original quandary.)

F.

Can I be you when I grow up? Seriously though, I'm inspired by people who keep it off.

Glad you are going to try to apply cleaning success to getting healthy, I am going to try the opposite.

And I do call it getting healthy. My friend was telling me about this book that talked about a box as you get older. If you don't exercise and eat well the box gets smaller and smaller. Balance and coordination go. Diseases become much more likely, strength and endurance go down fast.

You can't stop aging but you can delay that box and keep it many times bigger than it would be otherwise. I am 48 now and I have never worked out as regularly as I am now. I feel as strong as I did in my 20s.

Also mentally clear and great moods. I've heard people say that exercise and eating well if they could bottle it would be the best drug ever. I have found nothing in life perhaps other than finding and nourishing and enjoying loved ones that gives you back more than eating well and exercise. It gives back a thousand fold for quality of existence what you put in.

Lots of great posts in here -- which means that you should have lots to think about. From my own perspective, losing weight is hard work. Now I tend to think of hard work as anything I don't want to do! :dizzy: So, the technical, physical, and mental parts are hard for me. Does that mean that I haven't been trying and am determined to keep on trying? No. But it means that I probably have as many oops days as good ones. It's definitely still a work in progress.

So, why the willingness to put in all this hard work? Well, I'm in my 60s, and after being morbidly obese for 40 years I now have bad knees, bad hips, a fib, sleep apnea, barrett's cells in my esophagus from acid reflux, and kidney damage from pain pills for the bad parts. During those 40 years I would have told you that I was healthy because I was able to work 60-70 hour weeks, was very successful in my career in spite of my size, and made a great living allowing me the luxury of retiring at 55. But, I not only wasn't healthy, but I was on a collision course to have all of these medical problems. Will this happen to everyone? Who knows. But the statistics are pretty good saying they will. So, if it's truly a choice at this point, I would strongly encourage you to at a minimum eat healthy and try to lose slowly. Even 20 pounds a year will be a good step in avoiding all of these problems.

I think weight loss can seem like this massive thing, and that's hard to get yourself motivated for. But you don't actually have to set a goal of being size 6 or whatever.

Studies (which I can't cite, but we often reference them in our heavily fact-checked publications at work, so I am sure they're from reputable sources) have shown that losing just 10 percent of your weight can significantly reduce your chances of developing type 2 diabetes, as well as reducing your risk for cardiovascular disease. For you it looks like that'd be about 21 pounds. That's a lot, I know! But it's not hundreds of pounds. You really could get there with small, consistent changes. If you do, stop losing! Maintain the new weight awhile. You can always lose another 10 percent in a year or so if you decide to.

Hmm, as long as your are eating healthy and are getting moderate amount of exercise I wouldn't worry about the scale if that isn't a priority for you.

For me, being thinner is a priority mostly because my size is directly connected to my emotional eating and food control issues and for me it would be extremely emotionally satisfying to lose weight because it would be sign that I overcame that.

But I have friends who are indifferent to their size so long as they are healthy and really envy them for not caring! :carrot:

Ha, exactly. Maybe I need to adjust my thinking.

You've got lots of great advice and ideas here.

Here's my 2 cents. I think weight loss is simple, but it has never been easy for me. It's only gotten harder for me, because I've been stuck at the same weight for over a year now. I HATE being hungry. I went the drastic change route this time, because I was fed up, and wanted quick results to keep me going. I started with Medifast, which I would not suggest to you. It's quite restrictive and very low calorie. By taking away so many of my food choices, it got me into my head and exploring why I ate too much, which has helped me.

I also thought I was healthy at my highest weight, but I feel so much better now. I sleep better, I have more energy, and I've found exercise that I love.

I agree making some small changes that don't seem like huge sacrifices might be a great way for you to start. If those changes result in some weight loss, that might get you excited to make some other changes.

I don't remember where I saw this quote, but it seems to fit -

Losing weight is not easy, but it is worth it.

Good luck!