I looked it up on Amazon since I have been proclaiming it all over the forums.
It's actually called: Starting Monday: Seven Keys to a Permanent, Positive Relationship with Food.
So, maybe a little less jarring. But yes I know what you mean about the truth of the title and being caught in the revolving door of diets.

I've struggled with being overweight - nearly obese for the past 10 years.

And as some people have mentioned - the moment someone notices a change, I freak out because of the extra attention and go back to my old habits.

It's taken me forever to recognize this and try and move past it. A lot of this has to do with self-esteem. My entire childhood and teens I was told I was fat (even though I wasn't). And it's been such a struggle coming to accept myself and my body at my larger size, that it scared me trying to lose weight. I thought that losing weight would take me back to a body that kept being judged (I felt safe at the higher weight)

I am getting better at tuning out other people's opinions - but it is hard staying focused. I try and focus on my health and fitness, and try not to think about my weight but rather how my stamina and muscles are improving. It's not perfect but it's helping me cope.

I think this the real key for a lot of people. I don't think you ever stop being judged by people, including ourselves. We're always "too something" in the eyes of others. We're too fat, too skinny, too lazy, too inconsiderate, too meek, too assertive, too obsessive, too impulsive, too, too, too. Or even worse "not". Not impulsive, not attentive, not concerned, not, not, not. It never ends.

I think for the most part you have to figure that you're going to be judged no matter what you do and you have find a way to be happy with yourself, no matter what that means in everyone else's view. If you want to lose weight, then do that for whatever reason drives you, health, vanity, whatever, and then be ok with that. Yeah, I know, easier said than done for most. If you don't want to then don't, either way you will be judged by someone for either decision. Just make yourself happy.

I think sometimes people self-sab because they are afraid that they will be seen for who they really are and they are not sure how everyone will react. Like, when people would avoid me or reject me when I was over 200 lbs, my thought was that they did what they did because I was fat, not some personality issue. If someone avoids or rejects me when I get down to 145, I won't be able to blame the fat.

I read Overcoming Overeating which deals with this a little (though I think much of the book is outdated). Dieting and overeating, and being caught up in the emotional drama of guilt about overeating provide a safe haven. Many of us use overeating as a substitute for the messier problems of life, though that isn't necessarily the root of our overeating in the first place.

Overeating and dieting are things we can be immersed in, even though we make ourselves miserable with them. But those things are at least familiar territory. Once we arrive at goal weight, life becomes more complicated and messy, and downright scary. Even though there is a lot to be happy about, too. This is especially true, I think, for those of us who have been overweight for a long time.

For example, no longer too fat to go to a party, we now have to deal with the social anxiety that might be there. What if people don't like us for ourselves (vs because we're fat)? Then of course the anxiety about being seen & judges, being hit on, feeling romantic attraction, etc. I even postpone budget planning, major housecleaning, all sorts of things "until I'm finished dieting."

Think of all the things you postpone while on a diet (and falling off the diet). That pile of life's problems and anxiety, aversions, you name it, are all there waiting for you, along with the great stuff. I find that idea very helpful.

This is so painfully true. How much we put off and put out of reach until we lose weight. We deny ourselves experiences, clothes, pleasures, vacations, you name it. It's like we perpetually punish ourselves for being overweight.

The title is jarring to me because it symbolizes the constant feeling we have that today we have failed and the perpetual hope that we have that we will wake up on Monday and be stronger, more persistent better people. We focus on a future that we have no idea how to start today.

Wow!! Ive never really thought about it that way before, more I want to 'reward' myself when I finally (never) manage it, but that actually rings so true!!

Yep I punish myself for being obese as well.
As for regaining weight - it was a combination of being exhausted and hungry, and being mistreated by a man I'd wanted for years. I didn't want to be hurt by another man again. So I ate it all back.

To protect myself from predators in future - I've learned a lot about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Pick Up Artists. And I've vowed to always wear masculine baggy clothes despite weight loss. If I'm not flaunting myself, I'll hopefully stay invisible. At least until I feel more confident and used to the new me.

Thank you for the Koenig book recommendation. I saw one of your posts and finally bit the bullet. What a great book that everyone should read.