Usually around 140-145 I went on a diet which turned ED and lost 25pounds very fast. Then of course I gained it all back.
Now, at least 6 co workers have come up to me and said
"Oh my goodness, have you gained weight?"
"What happened you were so skinny and pretty!"
"Yeahh... your legs, your face is getting bigger"
"You're gaining weight *squishes my arm*
To be honest I've been losing the binge weight, I can feel it. I was starting to feel good about myself until yesterday, yet again I had a ***** come up to me and squeeze my arm and ask me if I was gaining weight and how I used to be so skinny.
I'm so pissed off. I actually broke down crying later. How can you SAY something like that to someone? Do they realize how hurtful it is? Or how it makes me want to relapse back into not eating? It's disgusting and these are CNAS/Nurses who are grown women with kids (and they are average/slim) so they should know damn well what it does.
They're stupid. I've been lifting weights gaining muscle and losing slowly. Just because I'm not in the low 120s anymore. I've had SO many guys holler at me so obviously I still got it.
It just sucks because I hate myself so much, yet the moment I start getting my confidence and self worth back someone has to drag me down. I'm about to snap.
Turn it around on them. When they say something like that say "yes, thank you! - I feel so much better now." Like put a positive spin on it you know? Pretend they're giving you a compliment. If they know that you're feeling good about yourself they'll look at you with new eyes.
I know it's hard to feel good about yourself sometimes, but you gotta fake it till you make it. Nobody can love you the way you love yourself, you gotta be good to you! Build that in you and the rest will follow.
That's pretty damn rude, in my opinion. Don't let it break you down- you know how hard you're working, and you notice the progress you're making, and that's all that matters.
When I was pregnant but hadn't announced it yet, I got a lot of comments on my weight - actually those continued throughout the entire pregnancy. Having a ED background, I ended up back in therapy and had to blind weigh until I gave birth so I wouldn't get tripped up by numbers and slip back into dangerous habits while I was trying not to starve my child.
I finally would just look someone straight in the eye and say "wow, that's rude." It's something I still do to this day. Sometimes people need that direct response to understand that they're really being an azz.
This is akin to teaching a baby not to bite people. You immeadiately lightly bite them back so they understand and experience the discomfort.
I flip it and say, "You look like you've put on a few pounds yourself. What have you been eating?"
Just an observational tone. Like it's no big deal. Even if they're the same weight, lost weight.... they will know *exactly* how unsettling it is to have their weight as a topic of discussion.
I think they're all petty and jealous now. Because my boss approached me yesterday and said he got a text from a manager saying my boobs were out and everywhere -which they weren't and he knows that- and people have been spreading some nasty ****.
When I switched positions I gave up my scrubs and usually wear leggings, a lace cami and some kind of cardigan or top to cover my shoulders. I always make sure the girls aren't popping out. Yet once I made this wardrobe change suddenly all the managers think i'm promiscuous and horrible.
Wow. That is just ridiculous. I'd say something like, "Please don't comment on my physical appearance," or if they touch me and ask if I"d gained weight, I'd knock on their head and ask if they lost some brain cells.
Seriously, that is just absurd that they would make those comments. Unacceptable. Just remember, you can lose weight and gain weight but they will always be shallow, rude dunces.
oh my gosh some people can be so damn rude!! *huge hugs* My bf's mother who is an alcoholic, when we went over there last time she kept constantly commenting on how much weight I put on and even told me to stop eating so much when we left. Even though she's drunk and wasn't saying that intentionally to hurt me it still did. Words of others can really hurt so I can completely understand why you feel the way that you do. Let your haters be your motivators - sounds corny but true!
It's disgusting and these are CNAS/Nurses who are grown women with kids
Trust me, those are going to be the most loud mouthed ones of all. A new co-worker had gained "post-break up weight." All her scrubs are tight. I asked her personally if she was pregnant. She explained the story (which was essentially no). In the middle of a round, another CNA pointed at her stomach, "Are you pregnant?" I mean how rude! I'm shocked no one has made a comment about me gaining weight again!
Hugs!! I know how upsetting it is, especially at work when you have to see them again.
This happened to me at work recently, I work as a music therapist and one of the support workers came up to me and put her hands on my stomach and say "Oh my god, I didn't know you were pregnant" I moved her hand and said "I'm not" and she put her hand back and said "Don't lie! Look at your stomach" in front of co-workers and clients. I was so mad and mortified! I also have an ED and it caused a mini relapse for me.
People need to learn some manners and not comment on other people's bodies. I even think saying "have you lost weight?" for me it always fuels negative thoughts. I prefer when people say "you're looking really great lately" or something.
I'm so sorry that people can be so nasty to you. The very best thing I have been taught in these kinds of cases is to turn it around right back onto them with a simple statement which stops them cold in their tracks.
Look them straight in the eyes and say: "Why ever would you say a thing like that?" Then as they fumble for words, simply walk away.
Turn it around on them. When they say something like that say "yes, thank you! - I feel so much better now." Like put a positive spin on it you know? Pretend they're giving you a compliment. If they know that you're feeling good about yourself they'll look at you with new eyes.
I know it's hard to feel good about yourself sometimes, but you gotta fake it till you make it. Nobody can love you the way you love yourself, you gotta be good to you! Build that in you and the rest will follow.
This is good advice. Say yes,I'm working out a lot and building up muscle.
I am amazed that there are so many people where you work who think it is appropriate to comment on a person'S body size. This never happens in my workplace.
Also at you present weight and height you shouldn't standout as being very overweight at all. That's likely why they jiggle your arms to check. Again that is mind boggling that they think it is OK to put a finger on someone else in the workplace.
"Have you been gaining weight?"
