Okay, a little background. I have been gradually incorporating various types of exercise into my life since May of this year. And I have been going to an hour-long circuit Training class at least once a week since June. But since September, I've been circuit training 2 to 3 times a week. I even swapped out an easier class for a more advanced class that kicks my butt every Tuesday. And sometimes it is physically impossible for me to do certain moves. Point is, I've been working really hard and it took me months to get to the weight I'm currently at.
Well, yesterday I was at that advanced class again and of course, no one in that class is over 150 lbs. And that includes the men. But the girls in the class spent 15 minutes whining about which skinny person weighed more than the other skinny person. Obviously, I wasn't part of that conversation. But it was quite literally heart-breaking to watch one of them complain about being 137 lbs because all the other women in the class weigh less than that. Back in February, I was 100 lbs over that weight and they are spending valuable class time talking about how "fat" they are. I was miserable. And after the class I rushed to my car and cried.
I rarely cry about dumb things, but this really hurt. It hurt because I really do try very hard. I count my calories and I make sure I exercise at a minimum 5 or 6 days a week. And I really push myself too. I don't take leisurely walks, I run until my side cramps up so bad I can't take it anymore. I take a weekly cardio boxing class that was damn near impossible the first time I took it, but I stuck with it. It's still challenging, but I'm not going to give up on it. And because of this, I ended up crying, because no matter how hard I try, I'm still a fricken Orca in their eyes. It just seemed like such a shallow, insensitive conversation. It just made me so angry. I'm venting here in the hopes of being able to let it go. I know it's not something I should carry with me. And I know I can't let something like this be an excuse to give up the class. The old me would totally let them embarrass me to the point where I give up. But I'm tired of giving up. I don't want to do that anymore. When it comes to my health, I've never done this much, for this long ever in my life. And I can't let myself go back to my old ways.
don't listen to them...beauty is only skin deep! that's probably why they whine about being 'fat' because if you take away the physical they're left with what lies beneath, and it doesn't sound like it's much
That's a horrible thing to argue about when they are probably at an already healthy weight Were they teenagers?
I think it is so awesome you aren't letting them stop you. One thing I always like to remember is that even if I'm not happy at this weight, I'm at somebody else's goal weight. You've come far, keep going!
don't listen to them...beauty is only skin deep! that's probably why they whine about being 'fat' because if you take away the physical they're left with what lies beneath, and it doesn't sound like it's much
So if someone is 'skinny' and yet still has body issues, they're somehow less of a person than the OP? How do you know that these women haven't lost incredible amounts of weight themselves?
Yes, the conversation may have been a tad insensitive but really it's all in the eye of the beholder. Someone who is 400 pounds may be EXTREMELY offended my the OP referring to herself as an "orca" at 204 pounds.
To the OP, I'm sorry you had your feelings hurt in that way and you obviously are trying very hard and will get there! I know you won't give up. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Yes, the conversation may have been a tad insensitive but really it's all in the eye of the beholder. Someone who is 400 pounds may be EXTREMELY offended my the OP referring to herself as an "orca" at 204 pounds.
Yeah, I know I shouldn't listen, but they just kept going on about it. As if they really had serious issues. I mean they were all in great shape.
@ Stephanie
LOL no they weren't teenagers. I don't think anyone was under 25. And I will definitely keep going. I get a lot of inspiration from the people on this site. Giving up is the only way you can be certain that you will fail.
@JossFit
Thanks for the well wishing. And you're right, there is always tomorrow. But to be honest, I didn't say I was an orca, I said I was an orca in *their* eyes. Also, I really can't imagine someone losing an "incredible" amount of weight and yet still refer to themselves as fat when you can't pinch and inch on their stomachs. Seriously though, a bunch of the women who complained last night were able to reach up, grab a horizontal bar, do a chin up, and while in that position pull their legs up into their chests and hold that form for an entire minute. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I couldn't do a single chin up. I just wish I knew what in the world they were complaining about.
I don't think that they meant to hurt you with the conversation. I've complaint about my weight to people that are 100+ lbs more than I am. Just because I have 25 lbs to lose doesn't mean that I am comfortable with my body. I've been called "chubby" at 140 so I can understand the girl complaining about being 137.
Usually people at the gym DON'T look or worry about people heavier than them, most people mind their own business or check out fit people for inspiration. I'm almost sure that they didn't even realized that you took it personal...
Congrats on working hard and keeping at it! You will too one day complaint to someone who is heavier than you
First - Did I say that any of them were some how less of a person??? And of course I don't know anything about them, but what I DO know is that some people purposely try to bring others down to make themselves feel better...how do you know they are NOT doing that? Please don't put words in my mouth, I am quite capable of doing that myself.
I'm sorry. That sucks. FWIW, I really doubt you are Orca in their eyes. If anything, I think they may think you are stronger than they are, because you are doing the same class they are while carrying more weight.
Terry Silva - My apologies, I was paraphrasing. You seemed to imply that these women were automatically shallow for caring about what their bodies look like; "
"...beauty is only skin deep! that's probably why they whine about being 'fat' because if you take away the physical they're left with what lies beneath, and it doesn't sound like it's much "
Learning 2 Live - I see what you are saying, but again, it's all perspective. I have lost nearly 70 pounds and I would consider that to be quite a bit. I am one of those women who can do an absurd amount of pullups, lift olympic style, do crossfit and hardly have an ouce of fat to pinch either. I worked very hard for it, and I STILL have my issues and insecurities. Again, it's all in the eye of the beholder.
My whole point was that I doubt they were trying to hurt you intentionally and generally when those women complain about how they look they are GENUINELY complaining because they are unhappy with something, not for attention.
Regardless, your title is what struck me; why should you have to be 'stronger'? It sounds like you're incredibly strong already and so dedicated! That is real strength. You are still human and obviously a caring sensitive person and you can't help if you are upset or offended by something. Don't feel ashamed or embarassed for your emotions on top of being hurt.
If anything, consider yourself fortunate that you have a bit more wherewithall than to discuss issues like that publicly. I think discussing weight in public is a bit taboo regardless of what someone's size is.
My starting weight was 131lbs and I felt AWFUL. Of course, a severely overweight person would probably love to be that weight, but that doesn't take away from how I was feeling at the time. I completely understand why it would upset you though, I just wouldn't hold it against them.
Yea I feel like some people missed the point of her conversation. These women were in great shape, had no weight to lose, and were complaining for complaining sake.
I've encountered quite a few people like this and it DEFINITELY used to hurt my feelings, but now i let it go. Honestly, if all they have to do or talk about is complain about how fat they are when they are not fat at all??? I think that tells you how great their lives are -_____- (not to offend anyone, obviously I don't know those women or what they've been through, but Ive been in situations were ppl do things like what they did to taunt me and it makes me a bit angry!)
Hey, no worries though! Chin up! I'm soooo jealous of how much work you put in! Seriously you should share your training regimen w/ me!!
And hey, all the work you are doing WILL PAY OFF! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but keep at it and your going to wake up and you'll be running laps around those women! You'll know b/c they will start being really nice to you and complimenting you on how much weight you've lost and you can smile to yourself b/c you'll know how far you've come!
I haven't lost as much weight as you now, but at my heaviest I was close to 300 so ppl who haven't seen me in a while always have something nice to say and its the best feel in the world. It's going to happen w/ you and those ladies soon enough! No worries!
I'm sorry to disagree, but I do know a lot of the women that complain and they ARE doing it for attention... it's probably b/c Im young and college girls are "immature"...
Regardless, I think we all can agree that you shouldn't worry about those women! Whether they unintentionally offended you or were trying to hurt your feelings you've come a long way and are working REALLY hard and should feel proud of that!
I agree with OnwardsAndUpwards - don't worry about the girls in your class, focus on you. And you did a great job with that by venting your feelings.
I hope the opinions and perspectives here are helpful. I think this thread is a good reminder that we all have body issues, no matter what weight we are carrying on us at the moment.
It's important to remember that as we strive to lose weight physically, we also have to make changes emotionally. A personal struggle for me - a take-too-much-on-at-once kind of person - is to slow down and take this weight loss journey One. Step. At. A. Time. This process goes against a lot of my normal emotional/mental tendencies to hurry up and lose weight. The goal I'm working on requires me to deal with the fact that each day, each hour, each meal, each snack I chose depends on me. If I overwhelm myself, I mess up ALL of my choices.
Everyone you meet on this weight loss journey is here to help you in some way. So, let this experience be a positive one.
Think of yourself WHEN you get down to 137 pounds (or your goal weight). Will you still be worried about your weight? Striving for more weight loss? Will you ever be happy at a lower weight, or will you think that if you stop losing that you will go off track and gain it all back? What mental/emotional state will you be in when you lose 10, 50, or 100 pounds?
I think this is a good example of the positive mental changes that need to go hand-in-hand with positive physical changes.
I'm Supposed To Be Stronger Than This!
Were they teenagers?
