You're right. I don't love myself right now. I have never met anyone online. And even now I don't think I would meet anyone because I feel self conscious. I deleted my account yesterday and I'm going to focus on me and let things like that happen on their own.

I've met and dated guys online years ago, but I don't think I'd do it now. I think, for me, it gets harder not just because I'm heavier, but also because I'm getting older. And like other posters here have said, BBW sites tend to be for fetish types, something I'd not be into AT ALL. I'm recently single myself and have been thinking about getting back into the dating pool, but I know I'm not ready yet. I don't have the confidence I used to, and I don't feel 100% even leaving home, let alone going on dates. I'm using this time now to improve on me and regain my confidence so that when I do meet someone, I'll be in a better place mentally. No point in meeting someone when I don't love myself, it would just leave me more susceptible to take more crap than I normally would.

Fatgiraffe, I know you can do this!! Even if it's just a short walk every other day. Even if you only take baby steps toward your goal, you can do it. And I know once you start, the longer you do it, the better you'll feel. I know it sucks to look at old pictures of yourself and wonder what happened, or get sad when you think of all the compliments you *used* to get, but the only way to feel better about yourself is to change what's making you unhappy. You need to move!!! Just think, if you move now and keep moving through winter, how much better you feel when spring arrives. Time will pass whether you move or not, you might as well start now.