Upset by a stranger's comment
 

Hi guys,

It's been a LONG time since I've posted. Long story short, I went on a weight loss journey in 2009 and went from 205 pounds down to 125 pounds in summer of 2010. I did it all the right way, no fad diets. Very sensible eating and exercise until I reached my goal. Well, as you may be guessing, the scale has steadily climbed up, up and up, and as of my last weigh-in, I'm back around 172. All overeating. Only myself to blame. No real excuses. UGH!

Needless to say, I have clothes in all sizes, but actually, I got rid of the bigger sizes, so I'm "squeezing in" to some of my clothes. I fully admit that. The past 2 weeks, I've been on a real health kick, and the scale is moving downward. I'm proud of myself for being back on track, but mad about the regain. I'm sure a lot of you know this feeling.

Well today I was walking in a parking lot at Old Navy near my house. A stranger (a woman no less) yelled from the car, "Excuse me, excuse me! Can I have those jeans??? Girl, you are WEARING those jeans!) Then, she laughed. I don't know if that's a backhanded compliment, a making fun of me or what. And yep, the jeans are tight. Believe me, I know it. I didn't know what to say, really, so I said "thanks". LOL. But, oh boy, I felt crushed. I mean, I'm pretty conservative overall, just a little larger for my colder weather clothes. If I'm attracting attention from my jeans, that's not a good thing for me. It's not like I look good in them. I'm a short pudgy girl at 172lbs and 5 foot 1. I am "blessed" with a large rear and it's much, much larger than it used to be. I half-heartedly looked through a few racks, looked as some clothes for my kids and pretty quickly went home. I just was dying to change my clothes. So, now I'm in some sweats.

It was just....humiliating. I don't want to buy bigger pants either, because my goal is to go DOWN, not buy a bigger size yet again. I'm actually doing well these past few weeks, so I'm hopeful my size will shrink a little. I know it will, I've done this before. I can do it again. I really want to, because I miss the skinny me, even if it only lasted awhile. I miss my old wardrobe too.

Thanks for listening to my embarrassing experience today!

i wouldve taken it the same way you did. you'll never know her intent so i guess all you can do is ignore it.

people are unbelievably rude. i also didnt want to buy a bigger size jeans when i decided to get back on track and was PACKING it into my current jeans, just recently hit a point where theyre not uncomfortably tight.

you cant let random strangers get to you. in my old neighborhood at my high weight there was a group of kids and whenever i went out walking theyd say "stomp stomp stomp" with every step i took. even though they were just teenagers it REALLY hurt my feelings. it was one of the reasons i was glad to move. people are rude and ignorant; DONT let them effect your efforts or get you down.


ALSO: i remember you from when i was losing a few years ago! ive now regained as well and am trying to get back to my goal weight. dont wait so long to post again! ;)

Granted, I don't know how it was said but I agree it sounds like a compliment however awkward and weird it may be.

Honestly, the fact that she said "Excuse me" makes me think it wasn't meant as an insult. Who's polite enough to say excuse me then proceed to insult you? Some people might but they're not usually the type to do it out of a window!

kellost, welcome back and good luck ! You can do it !

I always thought "You are wearing that" was a compliment. I say that when a friend looks smokin' hot :)

Welcome back & this is my mantra


We can lose weight but you can't fix STUPID /IGNORANT ! :hug:

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/tulip-...5/125/201/.png

I do not feel "hot"! I feel big! I guess it was a compliment, but I can't figure out why. I am not looking good lately. I am such a buttoned up, conservative type. Not much "wild" about me. Attracting attention is never what I'm after. Lol. Maybe it will help motivate me. It was just bizarre to hear that. I felt so self-conscious after that.

"WEARING that" is also a compliment around my parts.

ive only ever heard ppl say that as a compliment, although i dont think ppl up in alaska ever say that much at all lol

Something to remember: A stranger is not comparing you to how you looked at 125 lbs, they only see you for how you are right this very minute. So maybe your pants are a little tight, on a butt that you see as big because it used to be smaller; but maybe a stranger sees a curvy booty in some tight jeans and think it looks fabulous! Different people have different opinions on what looks good. A stranger doesn't have have all of those preconcieved ideas about what you should look like, like you do.

I have no idea how the person meant it, but I'd choose to take it as a compliment.

I can see where it can be taken as an insult, but I seriously don't think it was meant to be, either.
She could have meant stuffing yourself into them, therefore getting the most out of them, or whatever.
But then again, like the others mentioned, she may have just meant basically that you're rocking the style. You're working it.
Skinny jeans are popular right now, and as long as you have the form, it doesn't matter what size you are.
Anyway though, all social confusion aside, it's good that you realized that your weight is hiking up and that you should get back to losing again, before it got up even past your highest weight! :)

In my area, if someone says you're "wearing those ____" it's a total compliment. Doubly so if a lady is commenting on an item... it means she's admiring you!

If it were me, I'd take it as a good comment. I can understand where you're coming from but in my eyes, that was ALL compliment.

I remember you, too! I occasionally have "lurked" on here, but haven't posted in so long! I need to kick things back into gear. Thanks for the welcome back, Julia and everyone else too!

It just felt nice to get it off my chest!!! This is such a great support system here at 3FC!