So, my brother is constantly trying to help me lose weight by giving me advice. I know he means well, but it's like... I already know what to do. I know how to burn calories, I know how to exercise, I know what exercises I like and what ones I don't, etcetcetc. I don't want advice unless I ask for it. I don't know how to tell him that without hurting his feelings. How do y'all deal with people like that?
And to be honest.. I just agree with them.. and then ignore it as best as possible. Probably not the best way to deal with the situation... but.... I cant really do much about it.
Ditto. Grin and bear it. I will listen and then blow it off. Hopefully it's short and sweet. Or you could start saying, "oh yea, you told me that last week."
However, men seem to respond well to directness, not hinting, and are less offended by it than women can be. It might work just as well to thank him, tell him you know that he means well, but you will ask him if you want advice from him.
I had one friend, a man, keep telling me, don't diet, just eat healthy and exercise. "That's what I do," he'd say. I'd just nod and agree, and just let him give me his advice. Finally I told him, "First of all, you're a man. You can probably change what you eat and lose weight a lot easier than I can. It's not as easy for me. It takes 3000 calories to lose a pound, and my goal is to reduce my calories by 500 calories a day and lose about a pound a week." When I spelled out what I was doing and demonstrated that I have a few functioning connections in my brain, he backed off. People must think that as soon as you say the word "diet" you're doing some crazy crash dieting stuff.... He really annoyed the heck out of me with his advice until I said that.
I'm guilty of doing this to my husband. He finally straight up told me to stop obsessing and talking about it all of the time. I still talk about calories and weight loss etc. with him, but not like I used to.
I agree, maybe tell him that you appreciate that he's in your corner, but his constant advice makes you feel criticized, and that's an emotional trigger for you, and its having the opposite effect that he wants. I'd tell him that you'll definitely come to him if you need advice.
I'm sure he just wants to help. Is there some way he CAN help you? Make him a part of your plan. Maybe go for a walk with you, or exercise? Try not to get annoyed, he loves you and wants what's best for you.
I agree, maybe tell him that you appreciate that he's in your corner, but his constant advice makes you feel criticized, and that's an emotional trigger for you, and its having the opposite effect that he wants. I'd tell him that you'll definitely come to him if you need advice.
I agree, maybe tell him that you appreciate that he's in your corner, but his constant advice makes you feel criticized, and that's an emotional trigger for you, and its having the opposite effect that he wants. I'd tell him that you'll definitely come to him if you need advice.
I'm in this camp. He's being a douche: why should our OP smile politely and nod?
If it were me, I would tell him thank you for his concern and then explain that I am not an idiot and that I know what I am doing and have no need for his opining.
I cannot stand it when people who know less about something than I do try to school me in that subject and talk to me as though I'm a moron. I put the kabosh on it in very direct language.
You could politely point out that men and women lose weight differently, which they definitely do! That could open up discussion for healthy and effective ways he can support you...maybe he can be your kickboxing dummy or something
Make him stooooppp!
Look at it on the positive side, at least he's not being negative about your lifestyle change!! xoxo 
