I've been at this calorie counting thing for two years now. 39 lb down. Not too shabby; I feel much better than I did at 192. But since Thanksgiving, I've been "accidentally maintaining" ...I hate the word plateau, but that's what it is! (ugh)

Throughout my journey, I've adjusted my calorie count by 200-250 as was needed along the way, & I'm in "no rush" to get to my 140 lb goal. HOWEVER! -
... lost one lb since T'giving?!?!?!? Come on! - that's pretty pathetic. (altho, yes, better than gaining!-but that's not my gripe here) Anyway, I've noticed that I've been "extra hungry" lately - like the past couple of months. Yes, I've been eating too much. Yes, it shows on the scale (3-5 fluctuations where it was normally 1-2 lb fluctuations). I hit 153 in March & lost nothing in April. Now it's nearing end of May and I'm 155....156, 155, 157, 156, 158, 156, 157, 155, etc. (Yes I weigh daily; no I'm not obsessed with the scale.)
IN THEORY - I HAVE GAINED 5 POUNDS. Blah.

I could go the normal route & "cut back" on calories (again.) For awhile I was averaging 1300-1400, but like I said - feeling hungry. Not just a day or two of hunger, but two months (almost 3 now). So I upped my calories to 1475 - 1600. Apparently that's "too much". ARGH! - sometimes it really IS a total PITA to count calories.

So I thought... maybe it's time for me to TRY SOMETHING NEW. Maybe IF (intermittent fasting)... But OMG, I 'm absolutely TERRIFIED to do so.
So scared that I will gain even MORE weight. And then of course, spiral out of control & be back at 192... or fatter. 
Other than losing weight, my main goal is to get off the weight loss merry-go-round. Stop with the lose/gain/lose/gain syndrome. Give up the yo-yo-ghost. In other words... LEARN TO EAT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. No more binging! Control that sweet tooth! I feel like it's never going to be in my grasp; I'll always fight it. Right when I feel like I've truly got a handle on things, I find myself over-eating, be it healthy food or whatever. Eating a 6oz chicken breast instead of a 4oz, because 6oz is what I have. Can't "not eat" that extra 2 oz.

So I've been SORT OF attempting the IF. A couple days here & there, just to see how it works with my regular lifestyle/routine. I find skipping breakfast not too difficult. BUT - by 9am I'm SO FREAKING HUNGRY that I cannot focus on ANYTHING but food.
Then I get a headache if I don't eat something. So I eat something. Nothing too big - just a small bowl of oatmeal or a power bar or something - usually right around 250 calories. This usually tides me over til lunch - which I normally have at noon, but during IF I find I can go until 1:00 or 1:30 - sometimes 2:00. My basic lunch is 480 calories. Come dinner time?.... I'm OFF THE CHAIN. So hungry that I want to eat everything in sight. EXTRA helpings of dinner (normally about 600 calories, which includes a sugar-free dessert) plus a snack before bed. So see? NOT REALLY WORKING.
I'm really tired of dieting. I'm tired of maintaining at a weight that is NOT my goal weight. And I'm really tired of all the thought, planning, and effort I put into thinking about food all the time. HELP! or just shoot me now.



