Fml.
 

So today (well, yesterday, it's almost 3am lol) was supposed to be a fun, "I don't give a crap" kind of day. I didn't count my calories today; I went out and drank and ate with my friends and I just didn't worry about it. It was a last hoorah before my graduation and I just wanted ONE day where I could actually give a last hoorah! I was feeling pretty good about myself this morning; I had taken a progress picture and when compared to my previous ones, it was a pretty big difference. My pants are starting to get pretty loose and I felt confident and great about my weight loss efforts, even after the binge at the restaurant!

All was well until my friends decided to go shopping at Old Navy after we ate. I decided to try on bathing suits and maybe some jeans, especially since I was curious about where I stood size-wise since my pants are getting so loose. I tried on the bathing suits, and the one XXL I tried on was way too big and frumpy looking; the one that was an XL stuffed me like a sausage. I tried on a size 18 pants, could pull them on without even undoing the zip/fly. I then tried on a 16 and couldn't even get them over my butt.

This CRUSHED me. I felt so crappy and ashamed of myself that I couldn't really enjoy the rest of my day. I wanted SO bad to be where I wanted to be at the end of this month, and I haven't gotten there and I feel like a failure. I have to join another gym because the month-trial I had with the one in my school town expired now, and since I'm moving back home I'm not gonna be able to use it at home and I have absolutely NO resources for workouts when I get home. I just feel like its gonna be really hard to meet my goals once I get home; I havent met the goal I set for myself this month, and I am depressed.

I don't know what to do about my clothes; I'm in that awkward stage where my pants are way too big for my liking but I can't fit into the next size down. I always feel like I look like a frumpy bum because none of my clothes fit right.

I just hate the way this is going right now. I feel so bad about myself and ashamed that I didn't work hard enough to get to where I wanted to be by this time. Bleh, sory about the long post, I just had to vent and I need some support and advice to help me get back in the right mindset.

You have lost 23lbs since january! That is amazing. Really, don't beat yourself up so much. If you didn't do what you set out to do, I understand you feel annoyed with yourself. But what if's really don't serve any other purpose than to beat you down. So look at tomorrow and how you are going from here.

I sometimes get a bit annoyed but I never let it control my feeling of happiness. I know I'll get to goal, and there's is no immediate hurry to it. I rather get there happy and a lil late (late for what really?) than early and burned out.

You are NOT a failure.

Ok so you're not a size 16 yet but you will be. You used to be a size 20, you're already much smaller. I understand the feeling as I'm in between sizes too but it's encouraging me to keep going. I tried on a pair a size down and I could get them on but if I took a step they'd probably rip haha, so fine for standing but not for functioning. You'll get there. And imagine the transformation from wearing baggy trousers to a great pair of size 16s that'll fit properly!

Did you maybe set yourself too big of a goal? You did really well in that competition and you seem to be losing steadily. Why are you being so hard on yourself? Remember that life is still happening while you're losing weight, we don't eat perfectly/exercise enough all the time. And really, you're doing great. 23lbs is a lot of weight to lose.

It's not a race, you're changing your life to lose weight and to become healthier. Learning to make healthier choices and to take care of your body. It's important to have a healthy mind too.

Could you pick up some cheap gym equipment? Or do something like the insanity workouts? I don't think you need equipment for them. I don't belong to a gym and I alternate going for a cycle (when it's not raining, hey I live in Ireland) and I also bought a cheap lateral stepper. I have a yoga mat, skipping rope, and the stepper. That's it. I have 5litre bottles of water for lifting, I do pushups and squats etc it's not ideal but it'll do.

Keep your head up and keep going, you're well on your way :)

It's easy to get down on ourselves when things don't go EXACTLY as we expect. I'm at my goal and I still get bummed out sometimes at the size pants I wear. But I have to remember that the number on the garment doesn't mean anything.

I'm older so I'm not looking for the same end result as some of the younger members in here, but I still want to look decent in whatever it is I have on. You have to measure your success in the steady downward trend on the scale and clothing sizes. We think that if a size 18 is loose, a size 16 should fit. That isn't always the case. Even in the same brand, sizes are wonky. I wear 12's and once in a great while, 10's will fit in jeans. Rider jeans fit like they were made just for me. Basic Edition from K-Mart fit very well, too. I have a pair of 12's in the BE that are really loose, even by my 61 year old standards, but I can't even pull the 10's up in the same exact style, fabric, etc. The larger the size, the more it takes to change a size.

Think of this - as we gained, we probably wore the same size for many, many pounds. I'm trying to remember how I ever let myself go from 155 to 250+ back in my mid to late 30's without going broke buying new clothes. I realized that I gradually replaced clothes that were too tight as they wore our with looser items. It felt comfortable again to wear whatever it was. The opposite is working as we lose. We go from tight to snug to nice to loose to sloppy as we go down. Then we try on the size we think we should wear and it's tight! We aren't used to that anymore. We think loose in one size should go to fitting like a glove in the next smaller.

I managed to lose 90 pounds last year at probably the same pace as you are losing right now. The first 30 made very little difference in my pants. I sew, so I was able to alter my size 22 jeans and khakis (twice) to get through the winter and spring. Jeans are a b**** to sew, but I did an "OK" job to get by. By late spring (mid-May) I had lost about 40 pounds and really needed new pants and was able to get by with 1 pair of jeans. I was able to buy size 18. Then the summer was on us and I never put the jeans on for a while. When I needed to wear jeans to something in July, the 18's were too big! I needed 14's - 2 sizes down. I bought the 14's and wore them and then hung them up. I needed jeans again over Labor Day - the 14's were now too big and I had to search harder for 12's that fit - now i had to try everything on because the differences were huge as the sizes got smaller.

This is long winded to say this - sizes don't mean anything. You know you're getting smaller and healthier. We want to wear a size "whatever" and think that's the final goal. On the way up, we wore the same size for lots and lots of pounds. It's the same on the way down. Then as sizes get smaller, things happen way more rapidly, size-wise.

I've followed your progress. I tend to lurk more than I post now that I'm at goal, but I just want you to know you're doing a great job. This takes a while. But you're going to be surprised at how quickly it moves as you get smaller. Just hang in there. It gets better and it gets easier. I wish I had paid attention to this when I was your age. Go out and have fun on occasion. Good luck with end of the school year stuff. And work out at home by any means you can. Play tennis and volleyball with friends, run or walk every day, help with yard and garden work. Help someone else with outdoors work if your parents don't need help. Think of it as free gym membership and helping a neighbor or grandparent at the same time. You'd be surprised at how much you work to dig a garden or rake grass. Good luck to you.

Lin

Don't get down :)
Personally, I think Old Navy clothing is made in terrible sizing/cut and not flattering at all. The only thing that's true to size or the shirts and s/m/l/xl size clothing but anything with numbers is a disaster! I have tried on numerous pants of theirs and the one size is too big and the next one down is too small or so unflattering, plus you had just eaten and since you ate so differently from your normal diet you could have been a bit bloated. So keep your head up :)

You are a work in progress! Don't be upset that you haven't reached those specific time-driven goals. Pat yourself on the back for all the achievements you DID have in the last few months. Just keep chugging along and you will be forever grateful that you kept going instead of falling off track.

Keep going Lauren!! I agree with everyone else. You have come so far in a few months and should be proud of what you've achieved. I know I'm proud of you. I'm proud of everyone who loses, whether its 1 pound or 50lbs

Be proud of YOURSELF, that YOU made the decision to change! Yeah, there are really crappy days. REALLY CRAPPY DAYS!!! But days come and go. Our bodies are weird machines. Sometimes they'll drop lbs like crazy and other times they can be stubborn and keep every ounce. But it WILL happen!! Even if you can't workout everyday when you get home, go for a walk, offer to do the laundry. Although it might seem pointless, it really does help!

As for the clothes store... We have the same problem here in the UK. One shop's 18 could be another's 16, it does get depressing. So I just go to one shop where I know the clothes fit me properly (i'm on first name terms with the manager now lol, thats how often i go in there!) Try to find the shop for you. It is out there!! I promise!!

Again, don't be ashamed of yourself. We all fall off the wagon at some point.
:hug:We're all here for you :hug:

When I'm here, I remember this is a CHOICE. You can CHOOSE to either feel horrible about what you didn't achieve OR you can CHOOSE to feel great about what you did. From your post:

1) You've hung in there since January
2 You've lost 29 pounds
3) You've been able to stick to an exercise program and joined a gym
4) You've GRADUATED...yeah!
5) You are in better control of your food....you were able to eat out and know how to get back on plan.

Now, you can CHOOSE to be upset about the 16. Or, you can CHOOSE to be excited about the AMAZING job you've done. You will get there and I bet if you went to other stores, some of their smaller sizes will fit. Old Navy clothes run very small in some styles. My daughter was a 4/6 everywhere else. In Old Navy she was a 10/12 in some styles. :)

Don't feel bad about yourself! Don't let one store's fit ruin your confidence. I find Old Navy's pants fit terribly (at least on my body). I wear 16's from most stores, and can't even get the Old Navy 16's up all the way, and can't get the 18's done up. I actually went there a couple of weeks ago and left feeling similar to how you feel right now. But I've always had issues with their pants, even before I got as big as I did.
Regardless, your clothes are loose, you see changes in your progress pics, and you're feeling good about yourself. And you should! You're doing awesome. Don't let something like this get you down.

Lauren, I agree with everyone else who says you're beating yourself up. You gain nothing but low self esteem, which can lead to overeating in many instances. Try to look at how far you've come instead of feeling bad about yourself where you are now. I know that trying on clothes that are styled differently or by different manufacturers can make a big difference in the fit. For me, going shopping and trying on clothes can steel my resolve to work harder at my weight loss. I don't like what I see in the mirror. When I'm not trying on new clothes I can fool myself into thinking I look OK. Not so in a three-way mirror. Use it as a tool. Maybe the next time you try on a pair of pants that you really like but are too tight, you could buy them anyway and hang them on your bedroom door where you will see them every morning. Try them on once a week and make it a mini goal to fit into them. Instead of thinking "These are way too tight!" you can think "I'm almost there!"

Good luck to you, sweetiie. You are a beautiful girl. There's so much more to you than your size.

Old Navy has horrible sizing. My jeans from there are 14s and my pants from there are 18s. I wear 16s everywhere else. Don't get discouraged!

let's put things in perspective:

you have lost weight - the scale says so.

you are smaller - the photos don't lie.

but bec some clothing designer who's probably a male decided on an arbitrary set of measurements that may or may not have been adhered by the manufacturer in China, Taiwan, or India, you're depressed and crushed?

might wanna think about that.

This.

Old Navy sizing is really screwed up and inconsistent. I bought a pair of jeans that fit perfectly. Liked them a lot, so grabbed another pair in the same size a couple weeks later. SAME SIZE. They were WAY too small. Held them up to the other pair and they were no where close to being the same. I returned them and the store associate said it was a common complaint. Poor quality control.

Please don't measure your success on Old Navy sizing!! You've done a great job. Keep your chin up and your mind focused and you'll be your goal size and look back and appreciate how worth it the day to day struggles were. Good luck!

You have done some amazing stuff. You've lost a ton since January. I've lost a bit over the past year, an out seemed to take forever to get down to where my clothes were in the teens again. I am still a size 16 after my last 20 pound our so, be in a 14 soon enough. Find some clothes in your size that look great. As far as not having exercise equipment at home, you don't need any. I run because when I started, I barely head money for much less membership. You can and are doing this.

OMG I love Old Navy but sometimes you seriously need to try on 234235 things in 325235 different sizes before finding something!

There's an ON outlet near my fiance and I go there a lot because they get last year's stuff all the time. This is what happened to me last time I was there:

- I got the same shirt in three different colors. I had to get sizes XS, S and M
- I got the same zip up hoodie in four different colors. I had to get XS, M, and 2 Smalls.
- I tried on 5 different size 0 pants. 2 fit. One was too big and the other was wayyy too small. The last one I just didn't like.
- I have pants from their fitness line in various sizes: Kids L and XL, Woman's XS, S, and M. THEY ALL FIT THE SAME.

I'd bet money that you DO fit into the 16s...just that the ones you tried on had wonky sizing.

I totally agree!!! I bought 4 pair of shorts from Old Navy this week. Size 4, two 8's, and a 12. All fit the same! :dizzy:

Old Navy pants = The Devil

Seriously, +1 to what everyone said. Their sizing is so jacked up I quit trying on pants there. It's just too frustrating. I'm an hourglass with an ample bottom half, if you will, and I don't even bother with their jeans because none -- NONE -- of their styles fit me right. Once in a blue moon I can find a pair of their slacks to fit, but it's seriously not worth the aggravation most of the time.

I'm wearing a loose size 16 Lee jean right now, and I can't even get into an Old Navy size 16.

In this case it really isn't you; it's them.

How do you feel about skirts? Some cute A-line skirts are totally flattering on EVERYONE and are much more forgiving in terms of sizes. Not only that, but the exact size isn't quite as much of a factor, and you can get a little more wear out of them as you continue to lose weight.

Dont strive to be a size 2, just a size healthier

Yes it's true I don't know what old navy is thinking they are playing mind games lol

Thanks you guys; the more I think about it, I really do think it may have been the pants themselves because they WERE jeans that came off the clearance rack -- I bet they were there for a reason! Usually when I get their jeans out of the actual JEAN section, I usually am successful there. I might try going into a department store or something to see if i don't find some better luck there.

I always have had self-esteem issues and I've been doing really well here lately, but sometimes they resurface and I need that smack back into reality. I know I've come far and I don't really even know why I'm *****ing about not having a gym membership because my mother did say she'd help me find a gym for graduation... what do y'all think about Anytime Fitness? I think I was just feeling overall defeated.

ALSO, where on earth do y'all find affordable bathing suits that flatter your boobs? Every single bathing suit that I try on, no matter how it fits everywhere else on my body, makes my boobs look terrible! I kind of already have sagging because they grew in that way; they've ALWAYS been kinda saggy. I haven't been able to find a flattering bathing suit in like 3 years, and it upsets me. :(

if it's support you need, then you might want to look into underwire.

what about a tankini at one of those places that sells the bits individually? you would have one-piece coverage, bikini convenience for bathroom visits, plus you can buy each piece to fit so it's not a big deal if you're an 18 top but a 16 bottom.

http://www.venus.com/products.aspx?BRANCH=24~91~

I've always wanted to try a tankini but the last time I tried to wear one the top kept flying up and flashing my mid-section when I was swimming, which I felt kind of defeated the purpose of the top! I really love retro-style one-pieces but I can't ever find a decently priced quality one in the stores. I also like stuff that hides the tops of my thighs and comes up high in the back so my underarm fat doesn't show... maybe I do need to invest in a tankini, lol.

I had super good luck at JcPenney, this week! I'm headed out for a bit but when I come back I'll post some links :).

sounds like you had a babydoll top like this one: http://www.venus.com/viewproduct.asp...waist+moderate - try one that's more form-fitting. if it's a proper fit, it won't flip up.

also, don't forget you're smaller than you were then, aren't you?

how about (click for source info):

http://0.tqn.com/d/vintageclothing/1...se-Tankini.jpg

http://www.catwalkqueen.tv/assets_c/...700-124095.jpg

http://www.bluevelvetvintage.com/vin...007/05/357.jpg

http://foreveramber.typepad.com/phot...o_swimsuit.jpg

Well first off, you're doing amazing. You have made GREAT progress!! And congrats on that!
Secondly, I'm in the SAME boat as you!! I'm swimming in 18's, but 16's are tight and uncomfortable.
We just have to know that we'll get into those 16's yet! Keep up the good work and don't let things like this as a defeat, it's just a stage in our progress. <3 Feel better.

Those are quite gorgeous! I actually think I may try a tankini this go round because I'm smaller on top than the bottom so it probably would be a better idea to do that anyway instead of trying to fit my whole body. I think you've convinced me, lol. :)

lol - most ppl are not the same top to bottom so i know exactly how you feel. when i was much smaller, i was a size 7 top and a 5 bottom - the top was not bec of the bust, it was bec of my shoulders, lats, and pectorals.

Yeah right now, as far as I know, I'm in a 14/16 top (closer to a 14 than a 16, now though) and an 18 bottom. I got a donk and big boobs, lol. Usually its not that hard to fit me but here lately I've been all kinds of awkward. Dresses have been successful, though.

lol - bumpers coming and going, hunh?

not so much, me: i got booty, for sure - even when small, i still have what i believe they call an "apple" bottom, the kind that looks like an upside-down heart? but in front, the only thing stopping me when i hit the door is my face. the girls are the first to show up for the fat-gain party and the first to take off.

re:
 

I 100% agree with everyone about the jeans. Jeans are dumb. I had the same thing happen to me with 2 pairs of jeans the same exact style - one was a falling to my knees 20 and the other was non zipping 18.

Finally i just gave up on that style and tried something completely new (had to try on a few!) and found some that I really like now.

Concerning the swimsuit - I have no clue, I'll hit that monster in June maybe, but I know Berrybondeboys has a huge thread about that in the looking good forum with some of the same questions, so you might want to look there.

.

I have to say this because it might help you a little bit...

OLD NAVY JEANS ARE EXTREMELY INCONSISTENT. I actually used to work there. What happens is when the fabric is cut, it is cut into its shape by stacking 100 pcs of denim together and then cutting. Ever try to cut paper like that? What happens? it never comes out the same right? I almost guarantee that if you go back there and try on a few pair's of 16's you will be able to fit them. I have this same problem and I would get SOOOO frustrated until I started working at Old Navy and I realized this. (we had to do denim 101 in training). Please don't beat yourself up about this because I almost guarantee it's not what you think.

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar098...170/245.5/.png

Lauren, if you're interested in joining a gym, visit the ones in your area and ask if they have a trial membership, or even a 1 day trial. Ask lots of questions. You want to know if they have monthly memberships or if you have to take a year at a time. Also, go by at the time of day you would most likely be going to see how crowded it is at that time. Find out what all is included in your membership, such as classes or training sessions. Also, look for one that has been there for a while. You don't want to sign up for a year and then have the place close down. It's also good if you know someone who belongs and can give your their long-term opinion. Don't get tied into something that isn't going to be in your best interest.