Much needed accountability and support
 

Hello Cyberworld...I've decided enough is enough, and I'm going to make mself accountable for my eating habits. So, I've decided to get some support :)

Where to start...well, I'm not going to lie, I am completely obsessed with being thin. It has consumed my life for years. I have this irrational idea that if I become skinny, I will be pretty. And when I am pretty I will be happy. I know it's not true, but I continue to hold on to this belief. My sister is absolutely gorgeous, 5'9" and 120 pounds, size 4. I have grown up in her shadow my entire life and would give anything to be attractive like her. I guess this is where I should mention I am 5'5" and 190lbs, size 12/14.

I have been yoyo dieting since grade 9 (age 15). I am now 22. My life is completely consumed by the fact that I want to be considered attractive. I constantly feel inadequate, and ashamed of myself purely based on my looks. The funny thing is I am quite confident in my personality, 'smarts', and other aspects of my life. However, my weight has been a constant struggle and stops me from being happy. I go from extreme to extreme of perfectly healthy eating to bingeing on anything in front of me. So not healthy. Last year I was so desperate to lose weight for my sisters wedding that I starved myself for a month. Then I became obsessed with working out. I lost 30 lbs over the course of 2 months and, sadly, was the happiest I've ever been. I've only gained 5 lbs back since, but I know that was not healthy, and also not maintainable. So, I am desperately trying to do everything the healthy way. I know that I will need a lot of outside support to keep my accountable and more importantly, inspired to reach my goal...hopefully I can find this here!

Let the games begin!

:welcome: COCO ~ to another Canuck; glad you joined us here. You can get a lot of encouragement & support here. You don't really need to obsess about your weight; nor be jealous of your sister. You could easily lose 30 lbs this year without starving. That way, you will be less likely to gain it back.

Calorie counting is a very flexible way to go. Make your focus getting healthier & fitter and you will feel much better -- and, even if you make a mistake, forgive yourself and just keep going. You'll want to eat & live & be healthy for the rest of your life.

Take a look around and just jump in wherever you feel comfortable ... :D

I actually think you need to step back and realize that being thin won't solve all your problems. You're already partway there, but it seems that in the back of your head you feel your life will suddenly be all that you wanted it to be because you are thin.

Learn to love yourself as you are now...don't hate yourself thin.