[KittyKatFan]

And every window, and everything else that casts a reflection?

I have done well on my weight loss, but I still feel so down on the way I look. I wish this massive mound of fat on my hips and abs would disappear. Still, I do see some positives when I look in the mirror at home. I can see my collarbones for the first time in years.

But I went to the grocery store, and unfortunately I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror. I still look so huge. I have lost 86 lbs but I still think I look as big as ever.

People at work have started noting my weight loss so I know I'm smaller, and I am down 4-5 pant sizes. But I still look so huge. Will I ever be satisfied with the way I look? The lack is self esteem is wreaking havoc on my personal life (or shoul I say my lack of a personal life).

[Nadya]

I know how you feel. I went shopping today and it just killed my self-esteem. I'm down ~20 pounds but when I tried on a pair of capris today, I became so frustrated. The 12's were kinda baggy, they fit oddly. They weren't uncomfortable but they bunched up weird. So I tried 10's and while they fit better, the waist was wrong. If I pulled them down, my gut would hang out over them and look horrible. But if I pulled them up over my stomach, they were tight. I ended up looking at myself in the mirror for about 5 minutes or more before I took them off and just put them back.

I think we're just hard on ourselves. This means a lot to us and it's frustrating. Personally, sometimes I think, "How did you let this happen? You lost 30 pounds and then what? You put on 50!" But any progress is good and we're not going to give up. It takes time, we just need to relax I think.

[dragonwoman64]

I'm still a big woman, and I am not thrilled with this extra luggage I carry around. But I remember back to my much heavier days, and I feel so grateful that I've worked off the lbs I have and with the difference. Not just aesthetically, but health wise and in quality of life, mobility, finding clothes. 86 lbs is a lot of weight, give yourself some credit.

[astrophe]

Will I ever be satisfied with the way I look? The lack is self esteem is wreaking havoc on my personal life (or shoul I say my lack of a personal life).

You are doing good progress on your physical health, but haven't yet gotten to addressing mental health. And you are right -- you can achieve goal, but you STILL have to eventually consider how to you talk to yourself.

You could be eroding your self esteem telling yourself that you are a no good student, right? Never giving yourself a pat on the back for the things you do well. Always dwelling on the lacking. ("I suck! It's not an A!" vs "I worked and studied hard! I'm sooo proud of that B on my finals!")

Or telling yourself that you are a no good bus driver. ("Mrs Jones won best driver of the month! I suck! I never win!" vs "All my passengers love me, I drive safely and well, I have respect of my boss, that's awesome for Mrs Jones this month. I hope I get that one day. I know I will!"

Whatever topic... Self esteem is mental health work.

To me it sounds like you feed the bad dog when you talk to yourself inside your head. That the subject is your body, doesn't make it a physical health problem. It's how you talk to yourself.

A.

[baker23]

I am convinced that mirrors and our minds like playing tricks in making us think we're standing in front of a fun house mirror. Even after a 165 pound weigh loss I see NO difference when looking into a mirror, even if my clothes are smaller. Photos seem to give the most realistic image back to us, so thats what I use when I feel like I can't see a difference.

Go to mybodygallery and look at photos with your stats from high and low weights right now...compare them...=D Your doing amazing and I'm sure you look awesome

Losing weight is a journey both for our bodies and our mentality

[shcirerf]

A few things I've learned, having done this more than once.

1. Take your measurements!

2. Take pics.

3. Start a blog, or diary, or scrap book, etc. log the measurements and pics.

Do these things on the first of the month. Log them!

As you continue on this journey, keep track! The visual is so important.

None of us are perfect, but the visual gives us something better than the scale.

I do get that we don't always see in the mirror what we want to see. I don't. But, I've come to realize, I have the body I have, I'm doing the best I can with it. And quite honestly, at 52, and having twins that weighed in at almost 13 pounds, (when I was 20),I figure I'm looking dang good! Saggy ab skin, stretch marks and all!

For me the best thing is, I feel better, I'm healthy! I lift weights, I'm strong, I like what I have! I'm happy.

I'll never rock a bikini, or look like Cindy Crawford, (I'm too short, lol), but, I'm good with it!

Do the best you can with what you have, and strut it!

[heathermichigan]

I look in the mirror or look down at myself and feel like I did 65 pounds ago. Granted, when I was that heavy, I never felt like I weighed that much. But I don't feel like I look any different, even when I am wearing 4 sizes smaller and people tell me that I look "great," "skinny," or whatever.
The funniest part is that if I accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in a reflective surface, I'm like "who is THAT?!" because I do look thinner than my mental image of myself. But I don't see it when I look directly in the mirror.
I guess it just takes time to see what's really there. I need to work on seeing myself for what I really look like. Maybe more pictures...but I hate getting my picture taken...lol