The unfortunate truth...
 

Hi NightAngel,

I know exactly how you feel. I wish I knew what the difference is between the day you feel hopeless and the day you fix your intention and get started again. I've been counting my calories for a couple of weeks now and keep asking myself "How did I get here?" because I know, just three weeks ago, I was thinking, "How do I get started?"

I guess just plunking yourself down here and asking for some support, connecting with others, is an enormous first step. In any endeavor like this, community is so, so important.

Here's one thing that has worked for me: If you can't dive into a plan head first, don't consider the whole thing a wash. You can start shifting in the direction of your goal by making small changes, things that are do-able immediately -- pick a couple of things that aren't drastic, but that orient you toward your vision for yourself. Start taking your vitamins. Keep checking in here. Make a list of healthy foods that you actually enjoy eating and start incorporating them into your diet (instead of cutting things out right away).

I mean, it might help not to think of this as an all-in or all-out proposition (which likely perpetuates a nasty cycle of austerity and abdication), which is demoralizing and daunting. Instead, think of it as a genuine, but slow, shift in momentum -- like turning a cruise ship around.

I really applaud you for writing this post. If I didn't make any sense, I hope, at least, I can offer you my support and empathy.

The only advise I have to give is a quote. I am afraid I don't know who said it but it motivates me.
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"
The days I am feeling down or lazy I sometimes remember this and it gets me moving. It is a quote I read on google which also has a picture with it of footprints in the sand. You just have to take one step. I know that is hard sometimes but it can be as simple as going outside and walking around the block. Just something. Not eating the chips you have or a simple ten minute exercise. Whatever it is it will get you moving in the correct direction.
Just try one step, it helps it really does and good luck you can do it.
Correction you have already made the first step, you are here asking for help! :bravo:

This is one of the most astute comments I've read. I, too, have wondered what is that magical "it" that made me get started in June 2011, when I had given up for almost six years. I've already surpassed my goal weight (and am attempting maintenance now). I'm getting used to the new "old" me (I used to be thin), but even up to a couple of months ago, I was sometimes just awed by the thought that I had actually started a plan and continued it.

To the OP, I would echo ilsita's advice to start small. That might work.

If that doesn't work, then, oddly enough, the other suggestion I have is to try something completely different from what you've done before. Sometimes, that gets us into the "mode" of healthy eating. For example, I lost all my weight calorie counting, but I didn't start that way. I was so desperate at the end of May that I decided to try something I had never tried before: the 17 day diet (look it up on Amazon). The first few weeks of that plan are restrictive, but in a way, that helped me: I didn't have to make too many choices. I just ate the few allowed foods. After a week or so of that, I noticed that I did drop weight (I didn't weigh myself, but based on the way my pants felt, I would say that I had lost at least 5 lbs.). At that point, I thought, "It really is still possible for me to lose weight! (Somehow, after being fat for so long, I had given up hope). I then switched over to calorie counting because I knew I wanted to make a lifestyle change.

I know where you're at (many of us do). Hang in there. Don't give up.

Thank You...
 

ilsita- your post makes sense. Thanks for responding to me. I guess the hard part about taking it slow is that if I am not trying, not thinking about what I'm doing or eating all the time... things get worse. I will definitely try to be on, to see how everyone here is doing and that might be something like a slow change. Starting vitamins would probably be good too thanks! ;)

Blueice10-yes quotes are rather motivational arent they? thanks for mentioning that...my pic is a nice quote too. :cool:

lin43- thanks for the tip... I'll go look up the 17 day diet, that should be interesting. I'll write back if I try it too. :)

I can't "fly free" and have no plan. I need structure, and to me that means to tell myself to eat this amount at this time of day. It's second nature now, and I just don't have to think too much about what meal time will bring - I already know! It sounds really daunting and possibly restrictive to eat this way, but it gives my mind freedom because I'm not spending any time thinking about it, other than the original planning day.

Calorie counting, making my meals and freezing them ahead of time (or learning methods of quick, throw together meals) really helped me. I figured out my day's calorie count, then decided I would eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day.

Since my snacks and breakfasts stay similar, I really put work into just lunch and dinner, which I cook and freeze on weekends. Because I'm cooking at least 3-4 dishes every weekend, I end up with a lot of choices, all of which are similar calorie counts. I just pull one out, reheat, and eat.

I'm glad your back :) its ok it happens forgive yourself hun :hug: so the magic it...I think for me it comes down to 2 choices:

1. Do it
2. Don't do it

Then I think of the consequences for each choice. This is mostly contemplating going to the gym. Like today I'm off work being totally lazy my kids are home from school sick so we are all laying in bed watching movies on Netflix! Do I feel like dragging my butt to the gym in this snow storm? Nope. I'm even contemplating not going. But then I have to think of the consequences of not going and I hate those consequences cause I KNOW I feel like crap! The only other choice is to go cause I know those consequences of going I feel BETTER! Same with food. Sit down and look at what your about to put in your mouth. You have a choice but just don't look at the choice you have to make look at what consequences come with your choice and reask yourself if you want that consequence?

You know deep down what you want or you wouldn't be here. There is no IT there's only choice and reaping the consequences of your choice. Neither is good or bad so don't feel bad! Its just the consequence from your decision your feeling... So go with a choice where you know the consequence makes you feel better :) I hope that made sense I'm typing on my phone :) :welcome: back!

This is going to be one of those memorable threads. ;) I just know it. Such wonderful words of wisdom!

I have found that even if I'm not actively losing, I feel so much better when I'm trying. I feel physically better because I'm eating healthy foods and I feel mentally better because my efforts are where they need to be.

I second the vitamins notion.

My mantra has been to just keep going throughout my very long journey and I have never given up. Recently I've been where you are, struggling to get truly back on track. When I start eating so far off track that I can no longer see the track through the cookies, it's hard to get back on. The cravings are real and frustrating. But my head knows if I can just get through three days of misery eating the way I should, the cravings and hunger will subside. That gets me through. My my starts always take dozens of false-starts before one takes hold.

I have been exactly in your shoes, many many times. I have tried all kinds of diets and would put the weight back on always. I would lose 20 then gain it back. I dont know if it is proper on here to recommend a diet, but have you tried the Ideal Protein. I have been doing that since June of 2011 and i have lost 65 lbs. It is a very strict and structured diet, which i find very easy to follow. It is on the pricey side, but your results at the beginning are very rewarding. Perhaps go to the chat for Ideal Protein and get some info. I am not finished my diet yet, but IP has given me the tool to lose my weight and they have maintenance, which i now know after gaining weight back my whole life is the most if not more important than the diet itself. I think we all know you have to have 100% mental committment to start this journey of getting healthy. Good LUck

Maybe you can find ways to make sure you're getting the flavor profile you need in a way that fits into your plan. It shouldn't be miserable! I like to think of all of the things I add to my diet (fresh vegetables, new recipes, etc) instead of the things that I'm eating less of.

It's not so much about what I CAN eat as what I can't. I'm surprised you haven't experienced this. ;) All the delicious apples, salads and grilled chicken recipes can't replace chocolate. :( I have a hard time NOT eating processed carby type foods. The cravings last three days.

I completely understand what you're saying, and that food is absolutely not a substitute for chocolate! :p

But - I do think focusing on the positive always helps. I find, for example, that when I tell my daughter to brush her teeth, she doesn't and I get frustrated, it turns into a big deal and wastes more time. When I, instead, approach her with "the toothbrush dance," it's silly and we both laugh and she brushes with no further resistance.

When it comes to apples, salads, and grilled chicken, they sound so boring and "diet-y" to me. With the exception of apples, salad and grilled chicken is summer food when I don't really want to eat because it's so damn hot! For meals, I'll like to think of the rich tasting stews, soups, hearty grain and pasta dishes, roasted veggies, etc (but maybe that's because it's winter where I am). If I make my meals feel special, I'll feel indulgent even if I'm not eating high calories.

If I knew just what causes a person to slip from the 99 desperate, sad, hopeless or resigned mindsets into the 1 mindset that keeps you on the path, I'd be running my own fabulously successful weight loss empire!

After half a dozen false starts of my own, I'm feeling content with eating on plan for the first time in a long time.

What I can suggest is finding 1 thing you can do painlessly, and taking 1 basic 'diet' or health step. For instance: if you end up eating a certain takeout for convenience only, but don't really enjoy it, cut that. Or, if you have a nearby path you like to walk, take a long meandering stroll every afternoon. Or ANYTHING that you don't mind. For me, it was drinking tons of water- I had fallen out of the habit, but I actually enjoy it, and it was really easy to restart.

Your 1 deliberate step could be going through your kitchen with a garbage bag and throwing away all junk, and then spending an hour prepping healthy snacks. Or maybe you hate walking, and that long afternoon walk could be the 1 thing you change.

If you only have to do a single thing that is tough, it is much more manageable. And the momentum can be used to change something else next month.

Whatever happens, check in here a lot again!!

Good afternoon!
 

I think there's a big hint here: this may be why some people have problems sticking to any healthy food plan. Too often they choose food that doesn't taste good to them. They limit themselves to foods that taste like crap (my mother said that once).

There are substitutes for the trigger foods you love: like chocolate. If you can't refrain from eating all the chocolate, then have a nice, hot cup of Hot Chocolate instead. I often have a Mocha Coffee (coffee & cocoa mixed). My newest one is half Chocolate Ovaltine and coffee; love it -- for only 40 calories. Or, half Ovaltine & cocoa for 40 calories.

We eat foods we love; and for the ones that are just too high in calories, we make or buy a tasty substitute. Plus, I took all our favorite dishes and made them healthier. I love pizza, so I have my favorite veggie wg Pita Pizza 2-3 times a week (they are less than 350 calories each).

I make sure to have 2 veggies or a salad with dinner and/or lunch. My DH used to hate veggies, but he eats them now. I asked him why; and he said becuz I make them taste good. I use spices and herbs and broths to make them taste good: which have almost no calories at all. Roasted or sauteed using that method makes them more flavorful. Try these:

Onion, Vegetable, Chicken, or Beef Broths
Minced Garlic, or Garlic Powder
Onions, or onion flakes or powder
Thyme, Parsley, Chives
Celery, celery seed or salt
Poultry Seasoning, Sweet Marjoram
Summer Savory, Sage
Oregano, Basil, Italian Herbs
Dried Tomatoes, Bay Leaves
Cinnamon, Nutmeg
Fresh or Canned Tomatoes
Black Pepper, Cayenne pepper


Make a list of your favorite foods; your favorite fruits, vegetables, dairy, soups, salads, meats, dishes, etc. Make your meals around them. Choose lean meats, cut the fat, remove the skin before eating. Saute, simmer, stew, bake, broil, bbq, roast, or dry fry (in non-stick pan) to save calories.

You shouldn't be feeling so deprived. Take a multi-vitamin each day. Eating nice tasting foods & dishes in normal portions won't feel like you're on a diet.

I second (or third or fourth) the idea that you have to treat yourself well rather than feel deprived. It's also important to take care of yourself in non-food ways: meditate; stretch; luxuriate in your bath; enjoy brushing your hair and and noticing how silky it is. We need to LOVE ourselves and take care of ourselves, not get into the cycle of denial/failure/self-loathing --- can I get a chorus of "been there, done that"? You can do this! And it will feel really really good : )

Morning!
 

Hey thanks for the support.

Justwant- yes I'll try those, I'm not the best at choosing seasonings and the best time/thing to use them on but hopefully I will find a mix of things that are pleasant to eat that are healthy. I'm used to mac and cheese from the box and fast food once a week or so....only because I crave these things...

guynna- thanks for the advice....I agree that it is important to feel like you're caring for yourself... I lose track of that sometimes with all the other things to do in the day.It's good advice. I used to love to take a bubble bath....miss my old claw foot tub :( . eh....

I think it's great that you have a plan! That is a great first step! I remember when I first started my eating was as bad as my workouts [i.e. bad eating, non-existant workouts]...instead of some crazy day 1 plan, I just started on one thing, then the rest started to follow. First I said I would workout 4 days that week no matter what, then finish 30 day shred, then no eating after 8 p.m., then smart ones dinners 3 times a week instead of eating out, then an apple before any big bkfst. etc.

For me at least, slowly incorporating new things to my diet/exercise plan helped A LOT b/c it never felt too restrictive. I know it's bad to rewards yourself with food, but I would do so in the sense that I wouldn't feel bad going out to dinner w/ friends as long as I made sure to workout prior...etc. etc.

Calorie counting from livestrong helped me A LOT too! Then I got the fitbit so I couldn't lie to myself about cal. burns...just a few more helpful suggestions. Good luck & remember NOTHING is hopeless!

I totally understand the difficulty in starting up. I think I've written about 10 posts asking for help. In the end, a switch flipped for me. After all my whining and complaining, one day I just started up. I thought I was serious about starting up for over 6 months now, but just couldn't do it. So I pushed myself by doing a few things. In October I hired a trainer. But I was only working out once per week with her for a few months and never doing anything outside of that. I also hired a nutritionist, but I never really followed her plan. So I still needed another push. So I started seeing a therapist who started pointing out to me how much I beat myself up about what I see as my failures. I'm also diabetic and have hashimotos, so I'm fighting against that as well.

So one day during my christmas break from work, a little before new years, I didn't eat much one day and just had a bowl of chili for dinner. Basically no carbs. And then I finally tested my blood sugar (I always avoided it) afterwards and it was finally at a normal level. Low carb really does matter for my health. All of a sudden it hit me that I needed to really change. I needed to put more energy into it. That doing things slowly wasn't going to work for me. I think it works for some people. Making small changes and then increasing. But for me that gives me too many outs and excuses. I'm an all or nothing type of person. So the next Sunday I just started working on it. I just did it. It just happened. Like everyone else said, I'm not sure what it is that just changes in a person from one day to the next to get them motivated. But it just happens when you're ready for it to happen as cheesy as that may sound.

So long story made longer, I've been at this for 3 weeks seriously now and have lost about 6 pounds! I'm very nervous that I will soon get tired of this. But I'm trying not to think that far ahead. So here are some of the things that I've been doing. You've done this before, so this might not be new to you but it's definitely been helping me out.

1. I only go to the store with a shopping list and I never go hungry.
2. I take the time on Sunday to go shopping and prepare food for the whole week. Cut up everything or cook things so that all I have to do is throw it into my lunch bag or warm it up when I get home from work. This is the sucky part because it does take up a good 4 to 5 hours to do this. But my week is much better for it.
3. I try not to skip snacks. My nutritionist has me on a low carb diet for the diabetes and it consists of breakfast, lunch, dinner and 2 snacks. I find that the day is harder when I don't eat the snacks. I might not be hungry for a snack but I'm learning to force them down.
4. I go to the gym now 3 times per week. This is the hardest. I've tried home workouts and have bought so much home videos and equipment that I never use. I've found that once I actually get in the car that exercising is easier once I get to the gym. One day is with my trainer so it's a long workout. I'm responsible for the other two. And the best thing is that my Mom is really trying to help and goes with me 2 times per week.
5. Start staying away from your triggers. This is easier said than done. It's one thing to empty your house of all of the not good choice foods (which I've done as well), but it's another to try and deal with it when you go over to a friends house. So for the moment I haven't really been socializing as much. This is a controversial one. But I consider it like being a drug addict. When addicts hang around with their old friends then they tend to 'fall off the wagon'. Some people don't think it's good to put this many constraints on yourself. And I'm not saying that I'm getting rid of my friendships. But I'm putting some distance in the middle for the moment until I can control myself better around my triggers.

Anyway, sorry this was so long. But this is my 2 cents. Plus it always help me reinforce what I'm doing when I write about it. Thanks for listening.

Good Luck! You've done it before. I'm sure you'll do it again.

200 Calorie Mac and Cheese (from Bobbi in 50+ forum)

Butternut squash is puréed with milk and vegetable broth and mixed with three kinds of cheese to create a rich, decadent, and slightly healthier dish. This might just find a place on my Thanksgiving menu!

Mac and Cheese INGREDIENTS ...

1 small butternut squash (about 1 pound), peeled, seeded, and diced (about 3 cups)
1 1/2 cups low-sodium vegetable broth
1 1/2 cups nonfat milk
1 clove of garlic, smashed
Pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
Pinch of cayenne pepper
3/4 teaspoon coarse salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 pound whole wheat spirals
4 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, finely grated (about 1 cup)
4 tablespoons Parmesan cheese, finely grated (1 ounce)
1/2 cup part-skim ricotta or cottage cheese
2 tablespoons fine breadcrumbs
1 teaspoon olive oil
Olive-oil cooking spray, to grease baking pan

DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Combine squash, garlic, stock, and milk in a medium saucepan; bring to a low boil over medium-high heat. Reduce heat to medium; simmer until squash is tender when pierced with a fork, about 20 minutes. (Dicing reduced this time to 10 minutes.) Remove from heat.

2. Add noodles; cook until al dente according to package instructions, about 8 minutes. Mash contents of saucepan; stir in nutmeg, cayenne, and salt, and season with black pepper. Stir to combine.

3. Drain pasta, and transfer to a large bowl; stir in squash mixture, cheddar, ricotta, and 2 tablespoons Parmesan. (Honestly, you could also stop here. My boyfriend and I ate some of the pasta last night, and we skipped the step of baking it. It was more decadent and creamy as the baked version, but it lacked the crunchy topping. Eliminating the breadcrumb topping will cut half a gram of fat and 11 calories a serving.)

4. Lightly coat a 9-inch square baking dish (4 inches deep) with cooking spray. Transfer noodle mixture to dish.

5. In a small bowl, combine breadcrumbs, remaining 2 tablespoons Parmesan, and oil; sprinkle evenly over noodles.

6. Cover with foil, and bake 20 minutes. Remove foil, briefly broil to toast breadcrumb topping. Serve immediately.

Serves 8. Per serving: Calories: 200.0 Total Fat: 5.8

PS ~ this is what I meant by making your favorite dishes healthier but still good tasting too. You could make this one night and freeze portions for the rest of the month. :D

*bangs head on desk*
 

evening everyone....just being accountable here....2 days on 17DD....and I bombed.... just too hungry, those foods I'm allowed don't fill well. On to the next I guess. :frypan: :frypan: :frypan: :frypan:


I know, I know...exercise and eat less......

:lol: You may have to do some trial & error to find the plan that works for you; or make one up for yourself from the foods you like and count calories. You can use an online counter to help you get started. I do my own with books I have here; uh, cuz I've been doing this a very, very long time. :D

Hang in ther kiddo; don't give up. Just keep on trying; you'll find something that clicks for ya ... :hug:

BTW, I wanted to share with you that once a week, we have our favorite foods for dinner. Usually on a Friday night; and call it Friday Fun Food Night. Tonight, we had hamburgers: I had a chicken burger with chz, onion, tomato slices, mustard & relish on a whole grain bun. I made some home fries so go on the side: I just had a small serving (about 100 calories or less). I just make enuff for DH & I. I often have salad with mine, but I wasn't as hungry tonight. I am still under my targeted calorie range for the day, and have room for snack later if I want.

Lots of good advice has been posted for you. Here's mine (some of it has already been mentioned.)

Stop thinking about how you've failed. Only think about what you are going to do about it today and tomorrow. Then when you have those two days under control try to think about the rest of the week - what healthy foods you're going to shop for and prepare. Find ways to create healthier versions of foods you love - like the mac and cheese recipe posted above. Make it fun, creative, learn new cooking skills from the Food Network shows. Shop for vegetables and lean protein that will fill you up. Three to four ounces of chicken prepared a hundred different ways has been my savior throughout this process. Eggs and low fat cheese in the morning with lots of veggies - yummy! Find one delicious satisfying meal that stays within your calorie count or points or whatever plan you are trying to follow and focus on how that meal will fit into your days. You'll look forward to eating it and feel as if you are rewarding yourself and you will be! I find that my satisfying breakfasts set me up for staying on plan the rest of the day. Sometimes I slip up and go back to my indulgent ways. But the next day I exercise a little longer, get right back on track, forget about the past and do it again.

Once you've focused on the small day-to-day eating habits you are going to change then focus on moving more. Once I had made up my mind to change "most" of my eating habits for good it still took me about two months to include exercising into my new life. And I chose moderate walking then moved on to zumba and now I do strength training and yoga.

I think when some people make up their minds to change their ways they change everything all at once, it gets overwhelming and they quit.

So in summary change a couple of things at a time, once you're comfortable with those changes becoming permanent, move on to the next change. One day at a time.

Good luck!

HI all, getting started is the hardest part of the weight loss process. It is so important to find a plan that is going to work for you and suit your lifestyle/ tastes. I am an all or nothing kinda girl so when I did decide to finally commit to losing my weight, I felt different about it. Small steps and changes are key.

I think mentally you have to be in the right frame of mind for it to be successful. I pliers a lot of time and energy into losing weight and, at times, I was single minded and selfish about it. We all have different amounts of weight to lose and my
own journey was always going to be a long one as I topped the scales at over 300 pounds when I started.

Have you tried perusing some healthy cooking websites? My favorites are:
http://www.skinnytaste.com
http://www.cookinglight.com
http://www.eatingwell.com
http://www.eatbetteramerica.com

Take a look at volumetric eating. It's how many of us are able to eat low calories without starving. Non starchy vegetables can bump up your meals without adding a lot of calories. I think the trick is to find ways to incorporate them into the meal instead of just having "veggies on the side."

Recipes like this chili, pureed vegetable soups taste really rich, adding vegetable ribbons 50:50 (with a peeler) into your pasta, cauliflower into your mashed potatoes or in other ways like this baked potato soup, grated zucchini or summer squash into your meatballs, meatloaf, or your burgers, food processing an entire package of mushrooms and adding to a pound of lean ground beef is almost undetectable in dishes like shepherd's pie.