Quote:
Originally Posted by ShanIAm
True story.....
15 years ago I was at my lowest weight since college (145) and I was in a relationship with a great guy. Marriage material for sure. But during the course of our relationship which included traveling, many many unhealthy breakfast, lunch and dinner's, I packed on the pounds. Instead of blaming myself for the poor choices I convinced myself it was all HIS fault so I wouldn't feel bad about breaking up with him. Deep down I knew that in order to lose weight I'd have to end the relationship. And I did.
But anyway, to keep my response in the spirit for which you intended .... I would say that I would have given up a couple years of my life. When you are so desperate to lose weight and you are so miserable living life I wished to have this opportunity to make this deal with the devil. Because I'd rather have a shorter happy life than I would a longer miserable one.
Of course that "fantasy" changed over the course of the past year.
I still made a deal with the devil (the devil being my lack of motivation and willpower) that I would NOT date or permit myself other things in life such as new clothes until I lost the weight. I only allowed myself these things I deprived myself of along the way as weight loss goal rewards. And I'm a better person physically and mentally because of it.
My experience has been almost the polar opposite. The more I deprived myself, the more I destroyed myself mentally and physically, bit by tiny bit.
Not only did obesity itself probably shorten my life expectancy, I suspect that the way I dieted (to get the quickest weight loss), and the joys in life I deprived myself of "because I didn't deserve them," did far worse.
I think my fear of obesity did far more damage to me than the obesity itself - because I WAS willing to sacrifice my health and my life to get thin.
I think we're taught to hate fat so much, that we treat it as if we're covered in tar and excrement - and instead of removing it "the best way," with patience and the appropriate materials, we try to rip it off to be rid of it as quickly as possible, not caring that we're taking skin and possibly our lives with it.
Ironically, the only permanent weight loss I've ever acheived (this time) has been by a method I never considered when I was younger, deciding that I was worthy of all good things in my life, whether or not I lost a single pound.
Instead, I took everything from myself, and with so much weight to lose, it meant I would have nothing for a very, very long time.
When food is the only thing I deprive myself of, it usually feels like a fair trade-off, because I still so many other wonderful things in my life. When I stripped myself of everything good, because I didn't deserve it, when the weight loss slowed I lost every shred of hope.
And ironically, I was "on" the deprivation train more often than I was off - for over 30 years. I just could gain much faster than I could lose.
If only I hadn't been so terrified of fat. If only I could have had just a little more patience and compassion for myself in getting it off. If only I (and my parents and pediatrician when I was a fat child) had been willing to take less away from me, over a longer period of time, I think I would have conquered this so much sooner.
Instead, I learned to diet as if I were "strip mining." I'd tear every bit of joy from my life. It took some of the fat, but it always took more of my self-respect, physical health and capacity for joy. The weight loss was never enough to compensate for the losses.