When were you first called fat?
 

I was watching a weightloss show and the woman said she was first called fat in kindergarden :( It made me think about the first time my size was criticized. I was in sixth grade and had just moved to a new town and was going through the chubby puberty time. I was always one of the tallest girls but never felt bad about my size until then. From that day on, I always think of myself as the big girl, even when at a healthy weight. I guess it didn't help my cause that I was a dancer and a cheerleader, and WAS the big girl.

When were you first made to feel bad about your weight/size?

I would say kindergarten, but it was my brother calling me fat and just being mean. I was a little round just before I really hit puberty, after puberty I was actually pretty thin. When I was 16 I was 5'6" 120lbs. And I thought I was fat and could lose some. Only if my 16yo me could see me now! lol

ever since i was a baby!

i was only 5 pounds when i was born, because i was a month premature... HOWEVER that's the last time i was ever underweight. i had rolls as a baby, i was chunky as a kid, and downright fat through high school and adulthood. can't wait to be not-fat!!

By my brother when I was 9 years old. I was chubby, but I wasn't THAT much bigger than classmates :(

This. I was a teeny preemie. That's the last time in my life I've been teeny.

When I was four or five. By my dad.

Grade 6. I wasn't even fat! I was larger than the rest of the kids but most of it was just my frame :( I would never, ever use "big boned" as an excuse for being larger, but at that point in my life? It was true! I have a very broad frame and I was always just.. bigger. Even if I lost every stitch of weight on me I'd still never fit into a ridiculously small size.

But yes, it started in Grade 6, and that's when I first stepped onto a scale and started thinking of myself as "not good enough". And that has lasted all the way until now.

My mother has also for most of my life used the term "fat and ugly" to describe me in various situations. "You're fat and ugly enough to do it yourself!" for example.. my mother was somewhat verbally abusive.

Those things really have an impact.

Kindergarten and I was reminded of it pretty much daily until maybe my early 20's. I suspect since I was still fat, that my peers had simply matured to a point of not saying it to my face.

I was in 6th grade. We were swimming at the pool at a class party and one of the boys called me "tubbo lardo." It was all downhill from there :(. This is the first time in my life I've ever been "healthy" on the BMI scale... since I was 9 or 10.

This is so sad really... And I'm not quite sure but I've been overweight since birth at 9 lbs 10 oz, but I can not remember the last time I felt confident in my own skin. I hope to be one day, at least with my hubby! Hopefully in a year or two.

I'm sad reading all of your posts :(

I never had a weight problem until college and then soon after, marriage. The first time anyone ever called me fat was my ex-husband when we were arguing after we had gotten divorced. His wife was laughing in the background. I only weighed about 140 at the time...

My husband was the first person who ever called me fat. Actually he called me a fat, ugly bubblebutt.

Actually, he is the ONLY person who has ever called me fat.

At the time I weighed about 150 and was 6 months post-childbirth. That was about 13 years ago.

... Somehow, we are still married.

Too young to remember. :( But I have spent some parts of my later life on the thin side of the spectrum, including now.

I don't even remember... I've been overweight since childhood. Didn't have too many friends until high school because of it.

I try to forget elementary/middle school

I just wanted to add something to this thread, that I didn't post earlier. Being that I was fat my entire childhood, and made fun of over and over, and it was always the name I was called. (What I wouldn't have given to be called stupid or something!) And even adults said it too me! I had a teacher once use me as an example to the class for opposites. I was Fat and another student was Thin...WTF??? My dad even told me once he'd love me no matter how fat I got...really???

It is seared into my self image. I think at 30, I can safely say I will always be the fat girl. I am a size 8 and I run like 3-5 miles about 3-4 times a week. My BMI is healthy. But I carry myself just like the fat girl I am. ( I always felt like I wasn't worth people's attention because I'm fat. ) I still see a fat person in the mirror. When I interact with others in my head, I'm the funny fat girl. (Yeah, people, I'm funny IRL)
But I'll never been thin. I could be a size 0 and I'd still feel like the world was calling me fat.

My father's nicknames for me, often included fat as the pre-fix - "fat jammers" "fat kaplods" (but not always - jammers, jammer-juicekins, and simply kaploda were common too).

I wasn't fat before kindergarten, so I think the "fat" precurser to the nicknames came after I actually became fat, but I don't remember when "fat" became part of the knickname.

The nickname sounds "horrible" to people raised with the belief that "fat" is essentially an unspeakable swear word, but I think that I was very fortunate.

My dad used the nickname with such love and affection, that I it prevented me from internalizing the cultural stereotypes against obesity. "Fat" doesn't have to mean stupid, lazy, crazy, or defective - and it doesn't mean unloveable. I learned that some people could use the word without meaning it as an insult.

I think it prevented me from "hating myself" as much as the world expected me to, and gave me hope that not everyone would hate me because of fat.

Even though I liked the nicknames (even the "fat" prefix), I was often afraid that my father would "slip" and use the nicknames when I had friends over, but I don't think he ever did (not that he didn't embarass me in other ways).


I learned relatively early that fat didn't have to mean "bad" but that a lot of people thought it did. So there was always this weird dichotomy in my head, between fat being just a physical description that didn't mean any worse than "tall" or "blonde" and the world where "fat" was used as an insult-swear (often hurled at girls who weren't even fat).

It just didn't make sense to me, for years that "fat" was supposed to be an insult. Even when I understood that "fat" could mean unhealthy, I didn't understand why people would use it as a way to hurt someone.

I think without my father's influence, I may not have realized that my weight didn't have to define me, or that fat didn't have to be an insult.

Now when my mom used the word, it was definitely an insult -and I remember even quite young, wishing that everyone saw "fat" like my father did and not like my mother and the rest of the world did. And it wasn't that my father didn't want me to lose weight, he just rarely if ever made me feel "bad" for being fat. Fat was something that physically described me. Something I wanted to change, but it didn't make me an unloveable person in the mean time.

Very interesting thread....

I was nicknamed Hippo Hips by a B*tch on the school bus when I was in 8th or 9th grade and subjected to almost daily name calling. I think I weighed about 112 pounds then.

My earliest memories of being called fat was at age 5. It wasn't my school peers that made fun of me for being fat (they just made fun of me for looking different since I was/am of Asian decent and everyone else was white...it was the early 80s and I lived in Morristown, TN where there was NO diversity). My family (uncles, aunts, mom, and every once in awhile dad) that would tell me that I'm fat and need to lose weight. One of my earliest memories was when my aunt came to visit us. I remember her saying word for work "[Freebird], you have such a cute face and your arms and legs are skinny, but you tummy is fat. You need to lose weight or no man will want you when you grow up." WTF?!!!! Who the F tells that to a little girl?! I remember my aunt pushing my stomach in when she said "your tummy is fat".

I also remember, around that same age, when my mom and I would go shopping for some clothes for me. When she would dress me in the fitting room, I remember her saying "lose some weight". ARGH!

I believe one becomes what others tell them they are....do I blame my family for being fat? Sort of. If you look at my pictures from age 5 through mid 20s, I was NEVER fat. I did go through a chubby phase in middle school, but again, none of my middle school and high school bullies made fun of me regarding my weight. I was never fat. I do believe that if people keep on tell you that you are fat, then some how you do end up becoming fat because you are made to believe it in the first place (if that makes any sense).

My emotions are still raw against my family regarding their verbal abuse of me and my physical appearence. Now, at the age of 33, I DO have a weight problem......but never did I have a weight problem for most of my life. Traditionally speaking, Asians have the worst perception of what is considered "fat". My 18 year old niece is a small/petite girl. I overheard my aunt tell her that she is "getting fat" and needed to lose weight. The girl is only a size 5! The aunt is a size 8. WTF??? ARGH!

My mother would do this which would just make clothes shopping all the more horrifying. We had to shop in girl's plus and I remember her saying many times "You have to lose weight." OK BUT HOW DO I DO THAT? When I'm 10 years old I'm not going to be able to really figure that out.

I think it was probably in first grade. Before that I was chubby but not so much that the other kids took much note. After that the 'f' word was used liberally by everyone from classmates to teachers to relatives and let's not forget every doctor I ever saw. :(

I was in the second grade, so maybe seven years old. I can still remember how ashamed I felt.

I think I was 3 or 4. My mom put me in ballet and I was the chubbiest girl in class by far. I can remember being a size 10 when I was 10. It always stuck with me because it was easy to remember.

i was in the 9th grade. one of my friends had a eating disorder (bulimic) and my other friend used me as an example of a healthy weight. she said i was fat but still healthy ( i was about 160 lbs at the time) even tho it was meant in a nice and sort of helpful way, i still got hurt by it. it was the first time it really sunk in hey, your fat. ok i take that back. thinking about it hard now made me realize i was about 10 maybe. i was at a friends house. she was in tae kwon do at the time and was really lean and muscle-y. i remember saying out loud gee why am i so big and shes lean? her dad was in the kitchen and heard me. he told me because your whole family is fat. i remember going home and crying so hard.

Kindergarden, and by my mother. She was trying to pin a shift dress on me and I already had hips. She poked my bottom with the pins, on purpose, because the dress wouldn't hang the way she wanted. Then she stripped the dress off me and said something about my fat butt. And that's how I've defined myself ever since. Funny how when I look at pics of myself back then, I look completely normal sized, like a juicy little girl that would have been a delight to cuddle.

And that's just one reason why my mother and I are no longer in a relationship. And she doesn't understand why!!!!!

I think the first time I was ridiculed for my weight was in Middle School.

But, believe me, they had a lot more to make fun of me for than just my weight.

That being said, I DEFINITELY remember the first time I was called a "fat, ugly b****". I was a Junior in high school, and it was over something incredibly trivial I don't even remember.

Though it ends amusingly enough! I was retelling the story at lunch time to friends, and one of the table-mates looked horrified for a moment and tried to say "You're not a fat, ugly b****!"... but it came out "You're not fat, (pause) ugly B****!" Fun was had by all over that.

So, now any time I hear the insult "f u b" I just giggle.

I remember another incident, not the first time my weight was referred to but I have never forgotten it. When I was in high school one of the more popular guys was in my math class and I overheard him saying to another classmate, "I think Kidjng would be pretty if she would lose some weight."

I think I weighed about 125 pounds throughout high school. I'd love to see if he looks like "most other 40-something males" now and better yet, what his wife looks like!

I'm new and this thread is making my heart bleed for some of you. Especially the ones who were name-called by family, husbands, aunts etc. :( Horrible. I mean, to point it out in a derogatory way.

No one has ever called me fat... I've not yet reached the really overweight level, but I've never been less than chunky either. Once my mother did say "Hmm, you're looking very broad around the shoulders" and that hurt. I guess mostly I do the name calling though. Especially when I see me in photos.

I don't remember the first time that I was called fat, I was always a chubby kid.. but popular and confident. So it was random little boys here and there on the playground who might say 'you're fat!" when I was arguing over a swing etc. I'd just shout back "you're ugly/stupid!" etc. ;)

The first time it was truly hurtful though was when I was in grade 7, woke up one morning and came down the hallway to the breakfast table where my dad was already sitting eating breakfast. He watched me the whole way coming down the hall, then as I sat down at the table, he remarked to my mother "I have to take her away to a tropical island somewhere, where all she can eat is fruit for awhile".

:?::?: :o :( :devil:

Who says that to their daughter who is just entering puberty and is already supremely self-conscious?? I remember bursting into tears and running back into my room.. my mom came in afterwards and basically told me my dad was an a**h*** and not to listen to a single word of it. My mom was always my biggest cheerleader - she always said I was beautiful, talented, smart and could do anything I put my mind to. :) Another of her favourite sayings was, "We can't all be ballerinas, but that's okay, because imagine how boring the world would be if every woman was a ballerina".

I don't think anyone has ever called me fat to my face, but I grew up 'normal-sized' and it's been since college and marriage that I've put on weight. My mother did make a comment once that I might want to think about losing weight and I shut her down completely.

It was never something I wanted to discuss with my mom, and I know she brought it up out of concern as both she & my dad are Type 2 as a result of weight & lack of exercise, but I just didn't want our relationship to go there.

I have say I feel for everyone who was treated badly as a child; I can't imagine what it would have done to my self esteem if my parents/friends/family had done something similar.

For me, my weight never became a problem until my senior year, I had a bad ex who pointed it out. By that point I was so used to the yelling, and name calling, the fear, that it didn't hit me as much as the "you're stupid" comments.

My dad pointed out that my jeans were getting tight in college.

Subsequently, throughout my life, he has occasionally mentioned my pudge. Nothing as overt as calling me "fat." More comments like "That sure is a big salad you're eating" or "You're looking rounder."

He's really a weight ****, though. Always has been. Now that he's 71, he's starting to develop a spread of his own, though.

I was very young, I don't remember how old I was, but I remember the event strongly.

I was standing in my grandmother's kitchen and I was about eye level with the ice dispense on the fridge. I was reaching for a canister of gumdrops that my grandfather had bought for me and my uncle was there. He asked what I was doing and I told him. He poked me in the belly and said "You shouldn't eat that. You need to remember this - no one likes a fat girl and people only like you now because you are fat and a kid. When you grow up, you won't have any friends and you will never have a boyfriend." .... I didn't even know what it meant. All I knew then was something was wrong with my belly, I was fat and that I wasn't liked.

.... It all went downhill from there.

4th grade, just changed schools. Some older boys teased me, calling me fat. I was completely normal...very althletic legs. Their hurtful words killed my confidence at a new school and I felt fat from that day forward. I recently saw a picture of myself in 10th grade (when I thought I was a cow) and can't believe I thought that of myself.

Probably at age 7 and then everyday until I was 13 and dropped 75lbs eating xxx calories a day. Then no one called me fat anymore but in my head I'm always the fat girl. Now I feel just as fat at a size 4 as I do at an 18.

You are beautiful! I hope you know that..

Elementary school. Like, first or second grade elementary school. That's when my family moved overseas to Serbia, and that's when I began seeing a change in my size through pictures (looking back). So... probably stress eating... I liked to be by myself. Most of my "friends" either just wanted me to give them stuff (bc I was the american), or would call me being part of the Mafia, or the one who bombed their nation in '99. Which is impossible considering I was only 8 and 9... but yeah.

Can't exactly "blame" them much for saying "yeah, you're fat", it's very much in the serbian culture to be blunt. However, there were a couple girls who would whisper in my ear "debela" (which means fat), or have that kind of be my "name". That was being mean... the other... just pointing out a fact.

I was first called fat by my best friend in grade 8. He met my cousin who is pretty much the complete opposite of me, skinny, blond. He said "your cousin is sooo hot and your the funny one, and fat, your kidna fat". It hurt alot, and to this day i think it has alot to do with my problems.

1st grade. My mom told me I was getting fat. I was actually still underweight for my height. Then again when I gained in 6th grade.

Like others have mentioned, I was very small when I was born but it wasn't due to being premature but severely past-due. I was due in July then they adjusted it to Aug 6 and I was born September 6. That was the 60's and they wouldn't dream of that now but at the time I was 5lbs 13oz and 23 inches long with superlong fingernails and a little body that was starting to break down.

In a quest to get me "healthy" my mom decided to mix my formula double and I put on weight quickly. I remember pictures at age 2 where I was already obviously overweight and it continued on. I don't recall the first time I was called fat. Instead, I remember events in my life. In kindergarten our teacher had us all line up and she weighed and measured us. I remember the kids were around 50lbs give or take some but not me. I was the tallest kid and I weighed in at a whopping 125lbs. I dare say I was close to my teacher's size.

In 3rd grade my life had become such a living torment that I one night picked up a knife and tried to cut my wrists but couldn't get past the pain of it to do more than surface marks, thank God.

Next I recall at age 11 weighing in at 211lbs. By this time I had family members, kids at school and strangers making fun of me and some adults started asking me "when was I due."

Growing up we had a family doctor who was obsessed with overweight even though he smoked like a chimney - something equally unhealthy. My mom was chunky (but nothing like me) so every time we had to go there he would always lecture me about my weight, things like asking me if I realized that it took twice the amount of soap to bathe me as someone "normal" and other horrible things. Once I got into my mid to late teens he started writing out scripts of diet pills and just handing them to me (mind you that wasn't why I was there and I hadn't asked for them - sometimes he "forgot" I was actually sick and I had to sit there and remind him.)

When I had my stomach stapled in 1997 I lost 88lbs in 6 months and my boss at work was the one who had to really help me realize it. I would be walking down the hallway and if someone started coming towards me I would stop and start to inch through sideways. At size 12! She would stop and point it out to me that I didn't have to do that, that I was normal sized and could walk normally. I wore my first short skirt. I started turning heads. It was so foreign to me.

Like others have noted though, the damage had been done and I was (am) very off in my perception of how I look and other's perceptions. I have a hard time keeping my eyes up when I walk and feel like I am very conspicuous in anything I do so I have a need to be unnoticed and under the radar and I fear confrontation and anger worse than the plague. Can anyone else relate to this?

Anyway, this is a great subject with a lot of different stories. I find them sad, people can be so cruel.

Take care,
Kellye

The first time I heard someone criticise my weight was when I was about 10. I was staying with my Grandma for the school holidays, and she was on the phone to my Mum discussing my Mum's upcoming wedding... "Oh you can't put Cheece in pink, she'll look like a fat little pink sausage". I didn't wear pink again until I was at least 20!! I also remember my cousin and I running around the block that school holidays to help me lose weight, and I fell over and skinned my knee badly...that was probably when I started saying "I don't run" too.