I went to grab dinner with my roommate and a friend... and the friend headed straight for the pizza line, asked if I wanted anything. I said "no, I'm trying to eat healthier, giving veganism a whirl" (which I am... and I'm being VERY careful, I take a multivitamin and a B-12 vitamin every morning, I watch my fats, calorie counts, protein, etc etc). She looked me in the eye and her face pretty much said "you're an idiot".
She then went off about a friend she has who is vegan and always sick... because she doesn't drink milk.
Milk? She said nothing about meat... just went off the milk and cheese. About how they are essential to our survival. I simply said that it was a concept misunderstood, and that I'm being careful. Then I walked off and got my salad and a small basket of french fries (stupid cafeteria lunch... stir fry line was closed and there's not much at that time of night left out... I eat far better at lunch time).
I then ate about half of my salad (no dressing), and proceeded to eat some of my fries.
She then started to say "I'm not sure whether you should eat those, they cook them in the grease they cook the burgers in". (which is false, they cook the french fries in vegetable oil that is seperate from where they cook the burgers, the burgers are cooked on a grill that is seperate from where they cook the fries...) I simply said "oh well, I'll find out what they're cooked in... but for now... I think I'll have them".
Oh... and she was on the opposite end of the table wolfing down three large pizza slices.
She would NOT let up though. Finally she ended up leaving for her sorority thing... but I was at the point of simply telling her to shove off and leave me alone. How I choose to eat is my choice... not hers.
Urgh... and maybe she's just jealous or feels as though I'm trying to one-up her or something. But she's thin, gorgeous, smart, and truly and honestly has everything going for her. I didn't shout at her "I'M VEGAN AND YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON" or anything... I simply gave a small explanation for why I didn't want to get any pizza.
I dunno... I had also been told off today by someone else because I do IF and I'm gluten free (I really DO get in at least 1200 calories a day people!!) as well. I also get lectured about diet sodas... and no... diet sodas are not the best for me (and I'll be the first to agree with that)... but I still have three 2 liter bottles in my room. Once those are drunk up... I'm going off of them for a while. I don't have an addiction to them... and I've gone off them for weeks and months on them with ease. And so far, I've had zero side effects from them either. But yeah... I'm not asking for their opinions... I'm not even going off onto a lecture on mine or anything. I simply gave a small excuse for why I don't eat breakfast or didn't want pizza... I didn't ask to be "attacked" because of it.
Makes you wanna reach out and touch someone....with your fist dosn't it?
I've yet to learn my lesson and keep my menu options to myself. People FREAK when I say..."I'm a vegitarian"..."no I don't still eat fish...." "I don't eat anything made with wheat or dairy."
And they act like I must be out of my skull. "What is left to eat?" They ALWAYS ask.
And then I inform them that I don't eat wheat because my DF has a gluten intolerance that is very painful, so i keep it out of the house...and I don't eat dairy because i have a lactose intolerance that is also very painful.
I get two answers after they have been informed...."Oh."...or..."Oh, sucks to be you."
I once had a argument about how milk isn't very good for us anyways. and brought up the point at that a good % of the milk in your glass is Pus...
And said person brought up the fact that this is why the goverment makes dairies cook the milk, to kill the germs.
So i said..."if I brought you cake and said, Oh yeah, I put a little dog Sh*t in the cake, but it's cooked so it's safe...would you still eat it?"
Point proved.
/rant (I try not to press my lifestyle on other people...but I hate it when people chose to stay ignorant)
mostly people are impressed with my diet choices. I make it a point to tell them that it took over two years for me to get to where I won't eat meat or dairy or wheat. I still crave my meaty food and I love ice cream, but for my heath, I just stay away. If I'm at a BBQ and i REALLY gotta have that burger...heck, more than likely I'll have that cow burger...But I've never REALLY wanted one that bad.
Said friend sounded like she was itching for a fight. Don't give in. I would also think that avoiding her around places dealing with food would be a good idea in order to keep the friendship.
Just stick to your plan and remind yourself often that when people ask you how you lost so much weight, why your skin is so healthy looking and get such shiny hair...you can tell them it was all because your a vegitarian.
I'm not vegan and have no plans of heading in that direction, but I completely respect anyone else's right to eat that way if they choose. What goes in my mouth is up to me, what goes in everyone else's is up to them. These people are ridiculous and I want to smack them for you.
I am a vegetarian (no meat of any kind, no eggs, very little dairy (NO milk) YUCK!
There are 8-10 million adults in the United States who are. You are not alone. Just stay the course and do what's best for you. Just chalk it up to ignorance. You don't need her approval to do what's best for you.
Seriously the more I interact with people and the more I read from people here I think its just easier to tell people AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE about your diet/menu.
If someone asks if you want pizza just say no thanks instead of giving any reason what so ever. If they go as far as to ask you Why?? I would say, because I don't want any......
I am not vegan, or vegetarian or gluten free but if I were I have a feeling I would tell NO ONE because I know how judgmental ALL my friends are about that, and most of my family. It is NO ONE elses' businesses and has nothing to do with anyone but yourself! You should not have to defend yourself to anyone!
Some people really ARE clueless how they come across when they offer their "food" opinions. I don't understand why they can't just state their point of view from "their point of view" without FORCING IT on other people. I'd be more likely to say "Wow, no pizza? Wish I could say no to pizza...You're my hero!" as I trotted off to get my pizza.
I so WISH I could be vegetarian! I love animals so much, and I hate the way they're treated to become our "food"... but I love/need the protein (without so much carbs, such as kidney beans or other veggies that are protein rich) and too much dairy makes my stomach upset. I love burgers, chicken, turkey, fish, etc. But I love all the animals of the world... if I'm eating any kind of meat, and someone mentions or even alludes to the fact that "it used to moo" (or cluck, or whatever!) I get literally sick to my stomach & have to push the food away.
I admire those of you who consume no animal products. However, I grew up on a farm, and I've eaten & enjoyed it all my life. I've tried several times to go veggie. Haven't succeeded yet. (doesn't mean I won't stop trying!)
but I digress...
You know, you don't have to explain your choices etc. to anyone. Maybe next time just say "wow, I'm in the mood for something different!" and then get your salad or whatever you want. You don't have to tell anyone you're dieting, trying to eat healthier, whatever. There are always other ways to get around those "pushy" people.
I'm not vegan or anything but just that fact that people want to comment on what you're eating is so absurd. Why does it matter to them? WHY do they care?
In college it's so much worse. Everyone feels like they have to comment on your "healthy" food choices if you get them. If you get a salad they're like, "Is that all your getting?" Yes it is thank you very much.
Just last night my roommate had to make a comment. I had a box of food in my hand I wasn't looking at the nutrition but was just trying to decide what I wanted for dinner (I couldn't choose!! :O ) And she said to me, "Are you really looking at the nutrition?"
just to try to play devil's advocate here, it's possible that she took your statement as a challenge of HER eating decisions. Saying "No, I'm not having pizza because I'm trying to eat healthier" is pretty much the same thing as saying that she's not eating in a healthy way. So while it would be nice if people did not challenge and second guess what we choose to eat, I think it's unrealistic to expect full support unless you know you are with someone who has a very similar eating style to your own because people internalize things.
From personal experience, I have found it is much, much easier to not try to explain or justify my eating plan. I never say that I "can't" eat a particular food, or that I don't think it's healthy. I just say that I don't want it right now, or I'm choosing not to eat it for now. It's a lot harder to try to challenge that, because I'm not trying to prove the merits of a food, I'm just saying I don't want it. Plus it does not come across as judgmental of someone who is choosing to eat pizza or all the other things I don't eat right now.
It's kind of silly to tell people WHY you're refusing a food offer. As April said, it can be seen as a way of challenging their choice of food. You may not have intended it that way, but that's how others will see it.
Next time, just say "no." Most folks will just say "ok" and get their food.
I'm not a veg either, but I wouldn't yell at you about your choice. I've found in situations where I don't want to eat something, I just say I'm not in the mood for it today.
My one exception is chocolate. I'm allergic to it and it gives me the most God awful belly ache for about 2 hours after I eat it. Therefore, I rarely eat any. It's just not worth it. In that respect, I also understand the people with gluten and lactose issues.
You can be veg and still eat a healthy and nutritious diet.
I'm not vegan and I don't drink or cook with milk. Does that make me sick all time? Ahhhh..the things that people say...
People will make jokes about your diet no matter what. They weren't concerned when you ate your way into overweight, obese, etc. Now you're trying to make your life better and healthier they want to be concerned with what and how much you eat.
It's frustrating to feel attacked, but in this one case I don't really see her as being on the attack.
When she asked if she should get you anything, a simple "No, thanks" would've sufficed. She probably didn't really care about why you didn't want the pizza. She was just being polite.
If we don't want people to make comments on our food choices, then we probably shouldn't make comments about our own food choices in front of people. This is just a natural human thing. She might've seen your "eating healthier/vegan" note as a way to start a conversation or discussion.
So you made the comment that you were going vegan for a bit, trying to eat healthier. She had an experience that she remembered which, in her mind, seemed to relate to what you said... which was that she had a vegan friend who was not healthy, because of certain reasons. Probably just, again in her mind, making sure that you weren't missing a vitamin or something.
Here's where I saw the real difference. You just mentioned you were vegan. She sees you eating fries, and trying to be helpful to a person who's just giving veganism a whirl, she notes that sometimes fries are cooked in burger grease. How food is cooked is something that veg*ns often have to take note of to make sure they're staying animal free.
Her scarfing down pizza has nothing to do with this. Those were her food choices. Note when she went to get pizza she didn't say "I'm going to get pizza, because I feel like being unhealthy today."
Sure, sometimes comments are out of the blue, but it's good to learn early on to just... take it with a grain of salt. Light conversation is light conversation!
That all being said, if comments really annoy you, cease making it anyone else's business by simply not telling people to start.
just to try to play devil's advocate here, it's possible that she took your statement as a challenge of HER eating decisions. Saying "No, I'm not having pizza because I'm trying to eat healthier" is pretty much the same thing as saying that she's not eating in a healthy way. So while it would be nice if people did not challenge and second guess what we choose to eat, I think it's unrealistic to expect full support unless you know you are with someone who has a very similar eating style to your own because people internalize things.
From personal experience, I have found it is much, much easier to not try to explain or justify my eating plan. I never say that I "can't" eat a particular food, or that I don't think it's healthy. I just say that I don't want it right now, or I'm choosing not to eat it for now. It's a lot harder to try to challenge that, because I'm not trying to prove the merits of a food, I'm just saying I don't want it. Plus it does not come across as judgmental of someone who is choosing to eat pizza or all the other things I don't eat right now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovely
It's frustrating to feel attacked, but in this one case I don't really see her as being on the attack.
When she asked if she should get you anything, a simple "No, thanks" would've sufficed. She probably didn't really care about why you didn't want the pizza. She was just being polite.
If we don't want people to make comments on our food choices, then we probably shouldn't make comments about our own food choices in front of people. This is just a natural human thing. She might've seen your "eating healthier/vegan" note as a way to start a conversation or discussion.
So you made the comment that you were going vegan for a bit, trying to eat healthier. She had an experience that she remembered which, in her mind, seemed to relate to what you said... which was that she had a vegan friend who was not healthy, because of certain reasons. Probably just, again in her mind, making sure that you weren't missing a vitamin or something.
Here's where I saw the real difference. You just mentioned you were vegan. She sees you eating fries, and trying to be helpful to a person who's just giving veganism a whirl, she notes that sometimes fries are cooked in burger grease. How food is cooked is something that veg*ns often have to take note of to make sure they're staying animal free.
Her scarfing down pizza has nothing to do with this. Those were her food choices. Note when she went to get pizza she didn't say "I'm going to get pizza, because I feel like being unhealthy today."
Sure, sometimes comments are out of the blue, but it's good to learn early on to just... take it with a grain of salt. Light conversation is light conversation!
That all being said, if comments really annoy you, cease making it anyone else's business by simply not telling people to start.
Really? Mind your own business.
