please, someone, help me save myself
 

I've hit this point where I know I'm not getting anywhere but fatter and more unhappy. What do I have to be unhappy about? For one, a marriage that I am letting fail because I llow my weight to dictate my whole life or lack there of. My husband is bored. We don't go anywhere or do anything because I'm fat. Unfortunately I cannot look to him for help. He hinders more than helps. He's too negative. Now we hve a daughter and I notice more and more everyday that my butt just sits in the recliner while I allow her to play. That's not cool. I have seriously let my weight and addiction to food ruin my life. I need help. I need accountability. I need inspiration. I need a friend. I need someone to help me in this very difficult journey. I'm 5'3", 240lbs, and 27 years old... and I feel 50. Please, I'm just looking for someone to talk to...

the willingness to do something about it is a major step. so many people don't even try because they don't see any reason to. so knowing you need to make a change and being willing to make that change are very good things.

have you considered which type of plan you want to use? ruled out any in particular? weight watchers? south beach? simple calorie counting?

is there any particular physical activity you like doing? can you take your daughter for walks? go to a gym? have a wii fit?

there's a lot to consider, and lots here to read for info! snoop around. and i always find the 'goal' threads to be very motivating. if all those people can lose a bunch of weight, then certainly i can do it too! and if *i* can do it, then i'm sure you can!

welcome to 3fc!

I think there are a lot of elements going on right now (marriage, self-image, depression, etc) that other people are more inspirational and better equipped than me to handle, but I was on when you posted this so I wanted to say hi and give you a :hug:

There are SO MANY people here who were where you are- weight-wise, height-wise, emotion-wise. And they did it! They got to where they wanted to be and found the "them" that they wanted to become. Check out the "goal" section of this website- they did it, you can too.

3FC has so much support and wisdom, and you absolutely deserve every bit of it.

Making this post and joining this forum is your step towards a better you!! Congratulations on making the first step!!!

Have a peek at the Goals section, I'm sure it will inspire you just as much as it did for me. Rock on ;)

If you need someone to talk to then you have come to the right place everyone here is supportive, offer advice and comfort. It's time to get up and make a change for yourself and even your daughter. Live!

Welcome to 3FC :)

You haven't just found someone to talk to... you've found a lot of someones to talk to.

You aren't alone in this. We've all been at a point in our lives when we made the decision that "enough was enough". The good news is that 3FC is a very supportive place where we can turn to get encouragement or a nudge in the right direction.

We're all going through the ups and downs of weight loss. Together.

Post. Participate where you're comfortable. I hope to see you around the boards!

Your post is wonderful! Because it sounds like you have come to the point where you are ready to change! :cp:

One option would be to keep a journal of what you eat every day--and if possible, what you are feeling when you reach for food. This isn't to change it, it's just to see what it is. It doesn't have to be in a fancy book, although it could be. But just a loose leaf binder or paper pad is just fine--you could even do it on the computer as a document. You'll learn a lot from this! You may more easily see things you could change.

Another option would be to start easy with some activity--something like going for a short walk during the day. You probably have a stroller for your daughter, so you can take her along. If she is old enough to walk, maybe she could walk for short distances holding your hand. That way you will both get some exercise. If you have some friends, you could ask them to come along. If not, you can do this on your own. The mall is a good place, when the weather is bad.

You'll always find lots of ideas by posting on 3FC. Welcome!

Jay

Welcome and good luck ! All of the above posts have given you good advice.

Welcome. You have received some great advise above. I wish you all the luck in the world as you travel this road. I look forward to seeing your success.

Welcome to 3FC. This forum is extremely supportive and I'm sure you can find some folks who can be that support that you need in order to start this journey.

Start off slow right now. Maybe start off exercising a few times a week before you even start watching what you eat. The exercise will help you feel happier and stronger, and you'll be more motivated to watch what you eat. You'll also feel a lot better about yourself even if you don't start losing weight right away :)

It doesn't have to be a lot. It can just be walking for 15 minutes 3x a week until you build up to something more.

Msnatalieann, Welcome, welcome!
:wel3fc:
This place has become my every day refuge. I hope you will come back and post often. It is a home of hope and inspiration with people of all ages and sizes. Many have lost an amazing amount of weight and makes me believe that anything is possible given determination and support.

Your first post is the most important one. I'm so glad you have gotten to that point. Now, you can focus on YOU. Come up with a plan and stick to it. For me, Low Carb works and doesn't leave me hungry...but, you have to pick one that will work for you. There are 3FC threads for so many ways of eating and you can find experts in any one.

My tip is to fill up a large glass of water and drink out of it as often as you can throughout the day. (I run to the bathroom alot ;) but it fills me up.)

Hope to see you again soon, you can do this!!

Now is the time Natalieann! I know how sick and pissed off at yourself you are.
But you are a hot smoking Goddess under neath all your weight. I know you are. start today. Replace that oreo cookie w/ an apple.
brush your teeth and hair. tell yourself that 8 p.m. is cut off time. no food after that.
these are the small steps i took to cast off the chains of food addiction. Join me in a quest to reclaim our selves.

I really encourage you to think of heavy people you know who go out and have a good time! I am constantly amazed when I really look around and stop being so critical of myself! There are SOOO many women out there bigger than you and I who dress cute and put a smile on their face and enjoy life!! Do you want to let the depression win or do you want to win? Then get out and don't let that depression rule you anymore. YOU have control over this. YOU can do it!

Like so many things, getting started is the hardest part. Like getting into a cold swimming pool. Jump in there, and get going.
Once you're in, every day can bring a feeling of power and control. It's a pretty intoxicating feeling at the end of the day to know you made it. Maybe there won't be any visable improvement, but you know that you did good things for yourself. Good luck to you. Build up that strength day by day....hour by hour...minute by minute.

thanks for all the responses!
 

Omg, all the responses have left me speechless. I feel stronger already. I have decided to start a juice fast. I'm very familiar with them from my church when I was a kid. I know I have put so much junk in my body (especially fast food) tht I owe it to myself to do some seriously cleansing. I'm very excited about it. I love veggies and fruit. I've been researching the different recipes and using nutriondata.com to look up the main qualities in different veggies. I have a small goal to run in the next firefighter fund 5k. I think its in march or may. I love to run and just really want to build up to higher runs. I just want to be a better me. I used to be fun, sweet, thin and kind of pretty. I need that again. I want s bad to feel sexy for my husband. I want him to be proud to show me off. I know I'm lucky because he's never been unkind about my weight. His family, now they have. To give you some background, we have been together for 9 years. We met when I was 18 and weighed 115lbs. In two years, my weight doubled. Yes, I have a thyroid problem, but seriously, that's a lot of gain! I actually HATED our wedding, I felt like a whale on display! But he hasn't ever said nything or treated me different. He says he doesn't care, just wants me to be happy. I know he cares. He is a man!! Anyways, he is a firefighter. He fit and muscley and works out every shift. I just can't believe I let it get this bad. I lost a ton of weight being pregnant... 40lbs to be exact. I was so much healthier. Ganed it all back from stress at work. Gained it in 6 months! OUCH! But I'm not working anymore. I used to joke at how pathedic it would be if I was home all day everyday and couldn't excersise... CHECK: pathedic! Its been 3 months! Thank you all for your reponses. I hope that with your help, I can do this!

NatalieAnn, Great attitude for a great start to the NEW YOU :cheer2:
There is a program called "Couch to 5 K" or more commonly "C25K".
I encourage you to look up one of the several sites online that give the basics for getting you there. And by next spring, you will ROCK the 5K for the firefighter fund. It is a great goal and you have plenty of time to make a big difference. Also, take a "before" picture. You don't ever have to show it to anyone, but it will be nice motivation on your journey.
Hang Tough GF!

As a psych person, I feel like I gotta state the obvious here. You have reached one of the most important points of your weight loss journey, you're ready to change! That's amazing.

One of the most important things for me, as a compulsive overeater, is actually to sit there and brainstorm the reasons for why you overeat. Everyone does it for different reasons. Stress, unhappiness, even self-loathing can all be purposes. Then think about the situations in which you overeat. Then think really critically about the emotional component; no eating problem exists in a vacuum. How does eating too much make you feel? I feel like people with problems of eating too much aren't in any more control than people who are eating too little, and being aware of your feelings will make your goals more memorable when you're tempted to eat.

I really hope your juice fast goes amazingly : ) You can do it!!!

C25k
 

As a matter of fact I am very much aware of c25k... I want to do it so bad! I have to start out with walking though because running with 240lbs is hard on the feet! I have a treadmill and radio set up... now I just have to do it! If I had to tite this chapter of my life it would be "running late and eating bad". I know, its an excuse. I'm always running late which means poppin in to a drive through. My juicer will be here soon, but OH not soon enough! I have to do this. One, for me and my happiness. Two, for my marriage. And three, for my daughter. I want to be hapy and to smile again! Oh I hope I can handle this!!!!!!!

Ok, so even though I can't start juicing right away, I can't start making changes. Like more water and less of everything else. Let's see if I can reach one tiny goal first. Two pounds by next Friday....start small right!

Small steps are great because they are steps forward. Here's to the new you....I'm on the same path and cheering you on. The ladies below are cheering for you!

I have tried juice fasts to cleanse - I could barely ever last a day. The sugar tends to naturally bring on some of the strongest hunger pangs you've ever felt. Monster hunger.

If I were you, I'd probably lay out a healthy 1800 - 2000 calorie meal plan for a day to see what it looks like (or maybe you are already familiar with counting calories?). I'd also buy a scale as the most accurate measurement of food. Of course your water idea is good as well :).

I was reading about a behavioral therapy approach to weight loss where a 24 hour fast was encouraged. It is not to lose weight, but rather to experience hunger and let it subside and experience it again - it helps a lot of people get "on the wagon"..... making it through the 24 hour period, while probably one of the most difficult times of your life, gives you a greater sense of confidence that you can succeed on your diet.

I dunno..... also something I've been thinking about trying once.

Well, regardless, stick around! I'm sure you will figure everything out and be offering good advice to others soon!

One insight I've gained on my weight loss journey is the importance of getting into the habit of acknowledging things. It seems to me you've reached your tipping point, which is the first step to lasting change. So take some time and acknowledge the power your about to give back to yourself.

I want you to succeed so I'm going to tell you the truth.

The juice fast is the wrong way to go because you can't do it forever. I know you want reboot and cleanse, but you're better off creating a realistic, healthy eating plan from day 1, that you can continue forever.

Regardless of what you choose to do, you should be so proud of yourself for making the decision to reclaim your health.

I can really relate to your post, because I am in the same situation. I woke up today fed up with the way I've been treating myself. I want to start changing today so that by the time summer rolls around again, I will be fit and healthy. Having a baby at home has taught me that time flies by so fast, so I don't want to let my life pass me by!

I think the important thing is that you're excited about the things that you want to try. Like the juice fast. I think you should try it because you're interested and it's exciting to you to get started. However, what you should take away from the posts is that you're not a failure if you can't finish it. It's true that the sugar will probably make you hungrier. I find that if I eat something carby or loaded with sugar, it makes me much hungrier than if I just hadn't eaten anything at all. It sounds like you're getting a juicer, so it probably won't be as bad as if you were just drinking juice loaded with sugar vs the juices from fruits/veggies as you are :)

I will tell you the most powerful thing I did when I started losing was simply record everything I ate, when I ate it with no changes to my eating habits (I used fitday). It was a true eye opener. After that, I started trying to get my carbs and protein where they recommended. It was difficult and took me a long time of trials and errors.

So try some things out that you're interested in. If it doens't work or you have a bad day, hop right back on track as soon as possible!
Good luck!!!

Look at all my new friends!
 

You guys are awesome. Thanks so much for all the inspiration and advice! I appeciate everything you are all willing to say.

I think part of my problem is being in a home where it isn't brought up. Sometimes, I don't feel fat at all. Then, when I have to go somewhere, I'm immediately aware of my weight. So excited because the juicer will be in my hands on Monday!!! I might start a little sooner (presently have house guests).

As for today: lots of travel which meants lots of fast food BUT I had water with every meal instead of soda! So proud of me! Its small but its a start! Ready for this next week to be over.... super busy! But I will be there, with my water!

My little Emma turns one Sunday!! I hope by the time she is two I can be in much better shape because I want to take her to disney, but I want to be able actually ride the rides (don't fit right now). Its part of my goal! Thank you all for everything!!!!!!! You are all the greatest!!

Ni night!

Look the very first thing I must tell you is self control, now I m telling you some of the tips which helped me a lot to reduce my weight at least. So you can try out these and hopefully will get a solution.
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Start your day with a glass of water.
3. Drink a glass of water before you start the meal.
4. Have another glass of water while you are having the meal.
5. Stay away from sweetened bottle drinks, especially sodas.

Try out these tips, for the reason it's pretty tuff to exercise in gym all the time.

Two pounds by next Friday isn't really starting small. I'm not saying it's not doable, but you have to be very careful with time-based weight loss goals.

You can do everything right and still not lose any weight at all. Or you can lose 1.8 lbs and feel like a failure because you didn't acheive the full two pounds.

My experience (in 40 years of dieting) with time-based goals hasn't been very positive. If I started to fall behind in my goal, I'd do crazy stuff to try to try to catch up, and if I came up short, even by a smidge, I'd focus on the failure not the success (and would second-guess every choice I had made, obsessing on whether or what I could have done differently that might have yielded my goal results).

When you set behavior-based goals, you win, even if the weight loss lags behind. A lot of people do lose the most their first week of a weight loss plan, but a lot of people don't lose anything. No matter what your starting weight, and no matter how careful you are with your choices, it's possible to experience weight fluctuations and eve gains, because our bodies don't work on weekly schedule (or whatever timeline we want them to).


Many people do set time-based goals and do fine with them - but if falling short would discourage you, you might try goals that are 100% within your control. After all weight loss isn't really something you have complete control over (at least not without a chainsaw).

Weight loss is the reward for what you do have control over. You can start with more water and less of everything else, that is completely in your control. But if you aren't measuring either, will you be happy if your results aren't visible, or will you beat yourself up for not making bigger changes. Will you be able to know that you ate less or will you just have guessed.

An even more specific goal may help (x number of glasses of water, y number servings of veggies, or z number of calories) because even if you lose nothing, if you've met your goal, you will have succeeded (and even if you met your goal 4 days out of 7 or even 1 day out of 7 - you have something to gauge your progress by next week.

You don't have to be perfect, you just have to keep getting better.

However, it's outrageously easy to get discouraged if we set goals that we aren't able to consistently meet, and time-based goals are sometimes outside of our control. If success isn't in our control, it's that much easier to feel that failure is inevitable.

Feel free to ignore my advice, I'm not saying that what has worked for me, will work for you. I just know that time-based goals have been disastrous for me in the past. Making my goals behavior based, means that I never have to feel that I did everything I set out to do, and failed anyway.

So here's to the start of a new day! Bring on the water. So far today I had a cinnamon bun, made them for the house, but I only had one!!!!! Normally I would eat at least two and half the cream cheese icing haha! So today I wil be more aware of what I'm eating and drinking! :)

Great Job NatlieAnn!! :cp:
One day at a time, or rather one Meal at a time.

Yesterday, I boiled several eggs to have on hand as a "go-to" snack. An egg and a glass of water, then I ask myself if I'm really hungry. Usually that will tide me over for a couple hours.

So proud of you for being conscious of every bite!:carrot: