I'm all about positive reinforcement as a way to lose weight but looking back on the times that my weight caused me grief helps propel me forward with my weight loss.

1. Early 2009. I was at my highest weight, 196 lbs. I had just discovered that NONE of my size 8 pants would button up. I had one dress that I could wear with a pea coat. That day, my then-boyfriend, now-husband's family was having a get together, and it was going to be the first time I had ever met them. I put on the dress, but my mid-section was protruding so badly (especially over my panty hose, yuck) that there was no way I was wearing it in public, even with my coat. I told my husband I couldn't go because I "just didn't feel like it." (No way was I telling him, "I just realized I'm a cow and can't show my body in public.") He tried to change my mind, but when I wouldn't budge, he stormed out of the apartment. I managed to conquer my fear, call him 5 minutes later, and tell him I was on my way. He came back to pick me up. I never told him the real reason I didn't want to go. It was too mortifying. But I'll never forget how my weight almost cost me memories with him and his family.

2. I started seeing a guy casually my freshmen year of college. He was my first college boyfriend. He broke up with me by explaining that, "Well... I'm an athletic kind of guy..." Okay, no need to spell it out. I'm too chubby for you.

3. Overhearing two guys on vacation "ranking" girls as they walked past them. Hearing "nah, too fat," when it was my turn.

These memories keep me moving. They make me realize that I never want to be in that position again. I never want to be so embarrassed by the shape I'm in that I say no to family outings or that I feel ashamed of myself just walking down the street.

I'm gaining tons of good memories from this experience. They definitely outweigh the bad. Things like the way I feel walking out of the gym after a hard workout, when my husband tells me I'm tiny (though I'm so not... yet ), when my coworkers comment on my weight loss, when I put on my clothes and don't feel the band of my pants cutting off my circulation, when I feel satisfied after eating a much smaller portion than the old me was used to, when I don't suffer from hip pain from the weight of my body on my bones while I sleep (and to think I didn't know what this pain was caused by when it was going on), when I meet goals and begin to believe in myself again.

What memories of the old you - or new you! - keep you motivated on this life-changing journey?

I remember being at my highest in england and was very "friendly" with my best friend. I went to sit on his lap well...more straddle him...I didn't want to crush him and lets just say he never let me do that again. I am almost sure it is because of my weight.

Same trip I was looking at the rides on central pier going "there is no way my *** is fitting on those rides" When he said he wanted to go ride them all on the last day of me being there I said I was broke and didn't want to go.

When I was about 15 or so I assume I was around 270ish lbs i don't know for sure. I tried sitting in the front of an old vw bus and couldn't because the seat belt wouldn't fit around me. I had to move into the back :\

Every time I get on a plane I wonder "will this airlines seat belts fit me? at the weight I am at now I know I don't have to worry about it but I don't ever have to again.

I won't let my weight hold me back anymore I am way too young to be slowed down by health problems.

All your memories remind me of me.
I've had guys rank girls then get to me and jokingly go "ugh..1 maybe.. with that fat a$$" It hurts. It hurts a lot.
I've had friends want to go out to clubs (which I LOVE going to) and I decided not to go because my skirt or pants wouldn't fit and I realized I gained even more weight.
I've been at clubs and couldn't get someone to dance with me because I felt they all weren't THAT desperate.
Pictures with my friends, I see so much fat it hurts... I hate Face book.

The one that stands out the most was with a guy I was dating. He kept saying things about the benefits of just losing 1 lb. When I asked to borrow a shirt one night he actually looked at me and said he didn't think he had one big enough. When having sex with him If I was on top he would give hints to ask me to wear a shirt. Saying things like... "You sure you're comfortable not in a shirt? You want me to see your rolls?"
Looking back on that... he was very insensitive and hurt full.

Looking ahead, I hope to feel sexy in my own skin, good for going out, and not embarrassed to put on a pair of jeans then sit down to have the rolls fall over the edge. ><

Ah, OP, I'm your height and my current weight is where you started. Lately I've been waking up often at night with pain in my hips when I'm laying on my side, and I've been wondering what is causing it! Maybe all the fat that used to be there cushioned me a little more, and so I'm just now getting that discomfort? I dunno.


My family was visiting me last weekend, and we took some photos when we went out to dinner for my birthday. I realized that it was the first time in years that I truly didn't hesitate to let someone take a photo of me; I've been avoiding them for years, or insisting that the person with the camera get me only from the chest up, or trying to lean forward a little and position my face so that my double chin wouldn't be as obvious. This weekend, I stood tall and proud with my mom and my sister and didn't try to hide anything, and for the first time in forever I didn't hate the way I looked when I saw the photos. That feels like a major achievement. I regret not having photos of all the happy times in the past, just because I feared the way I would look in them. I will NEVER allow myself to return to a weight where I can't stand the sight of myself.

I don't have any real memories to add, or any real stories. I guess the horrible names that I have called myself in my head over the years count as memories, or the fact that I haven't been comfortable in my own skin in more years than I wish to count, or even the fact that I stopped buying revealing clothing the heavier I got...after awhile, I just avoided buying clothing all together, revealing or otherwise...Or how I too avoided going places because of the weight.

I too remember being at clubs(years ago)and guys not approaching me, I have always wondered if it was because of my weight. You guys show just how insensitive people can be to people who are overweight, even if slightly overweight. @kurisitaru that guy was just mean! he didn't deserve you as I'm sure you figured out lol. I hope that we all can continue to reach our goals, and that we are always sensitive to others who are struggling with weight as we are/have.

I got to my lowest weight in January, then with moving and my husband returning from Afghanistan I gained all (plus 10 MORE) back. The memories of myself being skinny are what keep me motivated. The confidence I had, the way my clothes looked/ fit. It was amazing and I can't wait to get back there!

I guess for me the memories that keep me motivated are when I couldn't fit into my ski-boots, told I couldn't horse-back ride at a barn because I was too overweight for their horses, got out of breath when just walking and getting foot cramps too, and seeing photos and wanting to look good like in them again.

The feeling I got today when I bought clothes in mediums and size 10s I've NEVER been able to buy clothes that small. I nearly cried in the dressing room when my "old" size (which I never thought I would ever fit into either) was too big!

The feeling I got today when I bought clothes in mediums and size 10s I've NEVER been able to buy clothes that small. I nearly cried in the dressing room when my "old" size (which I never thought I would ever fit into either) was too big!

chickadee32 I didn't want to go into detail in my original post, but my problem was that I slept on my stomach but cocked a leg up at the knee so all of my weight was being put on one hip while I slept. I started having pain all through the day after waking up. After losing 20 pounds, and without changing the position I sleep in, the pain is gone! I initially thought it was just the position I was sleeping in, but now I'm convinced it was my weight on my hip.

I never sleep on my side, so no experience with that one! Way to go on your weight loss! You're doing great!

This is a great thread!

The main thing I always think about when I'm discouraged is a trip I took to Orlando about a year ago. It was the first time I'd be visiting the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and I was ridiculously excited to see everything. Then, all those news stories came out about people being too big or weighing too much for the new Harry Potter ride. I had seen that people around 250 lbs were being kicked off! At that time, I was close to my starting weight of 230 lbs and I was TERRIFIED that I"d be kicked off, so much so that I was considering ways to get out of riding it. Needless to say, it almost ruined the trip, as we went to Universal our last day in Orlando and I worried about it the WHOLE time. I ended up fitting and being able to ride but I'm always using that as motivation to never end up back where I was! I love theme parks and roller coasters too much to always be worried about fitting onto a ride!

This is probably not the worst fat moment I ever experienced but I instantly thought of it.

I attended a large party school with a nationally ranked football team. One St. Patrick's day I randomly found myself party hopping with a group of football players (friend of a friend etc). Not particularly popular, I never fraternized with the athletes. I felt a crazy attraction to this one tight end. Electricity ran through me. At 6'6 he weighed something like 260 pounds, most of it muscle. I weighed about 185 at 5'10. At one point he talked about how much weight he lost since spring training started. When the conversation switched to weight and weight loss, I wanted to die. I felt painfully insecure the whole night. He may have been into me but my insecurity got in the way. His friend made a flirtatious comment about him to me. Also I felt him looking at me a few times (possibly imagined).

I was at my heaviest, and sitting on my bed with this guy I was kind of seeing. He was a heavier person too. Well, we were just sitting there talking when suddenly, BOOM, the bed broke. The frame gave out and we were almost on the floor. I was mortified at the time, but now I just laugh at what a horrible situation that was, and how happy I am that I've since then done something about my weight. Some days I feel lumpy, gross, and hopeless, so it's a nice memory to hold on to, though I never would have quessed it at the time.

My freshman year in high school I was boy crazy... One day when I was sitting in a class full of seniors (it was an elective cooking class), gazing out of the door way I saw this cute senior pass through the hallway and I did a double take. Unfortunately the guy next to me (who was friendly with me) noticed and said he was going to "hook me up". I begged him not to say anything but he literally just got up and walked out of the class room and told the hot guy. He came back to the classroom to look at me and in front of the entire class the guy said... "**** NO... SHE'S FAT!"... and he was laughing and he kept yelling things of the sort down the hallway which I've since blocked from my memory. It took all of my might not to break down and cry in the middle of class. At least the guy from my class apologized.

The sad part about it is that I only weighed 140lbs... After that I lost about 15lbs more and I never had any trouble with guys in high school after that. I got hit on all the time. Now that I've gained weight again I'm back to being upset about never being noticed though simultaneously hoping no one notices me if that makes any sense.

OMG that's horrible!! I'm so sorry that guys can be such ***holes. They can be so insensitive and immature. I think that's why I never even tried to date in high school. I was super thin then, but I'd see others being picked on - it was such a turn off.