Negative comments on weight loss
 

Hi ladies...

I've been going through a lot of weird emotions lately. Seeing these lower numbers on the scale is still somewhat surprising.

Anyways, I have a few 'foodie friend's that were initially quite resentful of my lifestyle change. I have a facebook page, and although I never discuss weight, I DO discuss any exercise achievements I have made, and occasionally post updated pictures of myself.

Now the comments are coming...most of them very positive. Some with the whole "you look great, but don't disappear" (yah, that could happen, lol), and one foodie friend in particular (very overweight), who said simply "time for an intervention" on my last picture posted.

How dare she. I can only IMAGINE the severe repercussions I would face if I EVER commented on her weight. I know she is resentful, probably jealous/insecure, and to be honest, I could care less.
Because she's overweight, it doesn't give her an invisible shield whereby she can dole out comments like that, and not expect anything in return.

She's also said comments in the past like "be careful losing weight cause you'll lose your a**"... She's an extremely intelligent and prideful lady. Does she not at all see how insecure and idiotic she looks by saying stuff like that?

It really stinks, because otherwise I genuinely like her. She's smart, and a good mommy, and has lots of talents.

I dunno, I'm so angry. I just don't think it's fair that due to common decency, I would never comment on her weight. What gives her the right to comment (negatively) on mine? Does she think that I won't eventually push back?!?

Have ANY of you encountered this?

^ Go with that.

What other people think has everything to do with them, and probably very little to do with you. It is what it is... don't let it matter to you.

Keep doing your thing! From the looks of things, you're doing awesome!

Most people who make comments like this think they are being complimentary . Don't let them get to you, they don't know any better.

People get jealous of how you look, of how well you're doing, your ability to commit to a program, etc. It happens. My sister's neighbor saw my sister recently after a huge loss and told her "don't lose anymore." Mind you, my sister is still about 15-20lbs overweight. This neighbor has now begun "dieting" to get off vanity pounds. She's already thin. It's just good old fashioned jealousy. Just remember you're own goals, keep moving toward them and leave those haters in the dust! This is reason #42790 why I don't have a Facebook page :-)

I don't know how implying she needs an intervention could be complimentary... Unless the friend honestly idealizes eating disorders.

I'd delete the comment, for one. That is just not appropriate. If she has honest, unbiased concerns about your weight, Facebook is not the manner in which to bring them up. Can you talk to her about this comment and ask her if she is worried about you, and try to assuage any concerns she has? (Discuss doctor input/results if you have them, talk about what is "healthy" for your height, tell her how great you feel, show her that you DO eat and don't have a disorder.) If she is not actually worried about you and just wants to make backhanded, belittling comments, she won't be interested in having this discussion with you.... And you may want to re-evaluate her role in your life.

Who ever said world is fair and just? Different people react differently depending upon their situations and moods. Most often, you are not the cause of it. So, feel pity for her and forgive her and take pride in your achievement!!
Be happy. If you lagh loudly on her face, she will not repeat that performance!!!

Is it possible that it was just a joke and that she wasn't trying to be callous? When I first read that comment (before you reacted to it) it came off as a joke to me. However, it was an insensitive one, because it ended up hurting you. I bet that if you told her that, she would apologize profusely.

Haha ditto to this and as to why I do not have a Facebook page as well!

My wife's sister who is overweight said she looked sickly.

We just laughed about it.

Why are you so uptight about this? Who cares if she meant it as a joke or meant it to be mean.

Thanks ladies... To those wondering, it wasn't said in a 'ha ha' type of way. Her comment was meant to belittle. Trust me. Because I've dealt with numerous "comments" like this from her on numerous occasions. It had actually stopped for a while, so I thought she had just accepted my changes.

Guess not.

In public, it almost seems like she poo-poos my achievements-that there are more lofty and meaningful things to achieve than losing weight.
I think she takes that approach, because she doesn't want to be confronted about her own weight issues. Fine, that's whatever.

I am just so angry that she has the guts to actually say/write stuff like that.

What would happen if she posted a picture of herself, and I said "time for an intervention"?!? Can you even imagine the sh*tstorm that would cause?!?

So.... unfriend her then. Why keep toxic people in your life? Much less Facebook?

She was totally out of line, I agree. But fat or thin, pink or purple -- there's always somebody out there trying to dump their baggage on other people. It is easier to just dump them sometimes that put up with that nonsense.

A.

nothing good ever came from Facebook. I have mine set so only a few people can comment on my wall because I got sick of the snarky remarks from people over my progress.

I'm sure it comes from jealousy. And you are right that it would cause an uproar if you made a similar comment about her excess weight.

But you have the last laugh because I'm sure you look amazing. Actually, if that is you in your avatar, then I KNOW you look amazing!

It looks to me that you are doing well in your weight loss journey. Not all people will be happy for you because they're too busy being petty, catty & snide. If her comments bother you, simply de-friend her. Or at the very least "hide" all her posts. She'll never even know you did it.

And if you want to post your progress, use 3FC to do so... after all, that's what we're here for. I use 3FC for progress, support, and advice; I never post any progress of my weight loss journey on FB. Never-ever-ever-ever-EVER. :^:

Thanks for the input ladies :)

I will try to take her comments in stride.

I just don't like double-standards. I would never say a comment to a friend like that. But moving on!

:)