How come i go onto this stupid website looking for encouragement and the moment i cheat on the diet..people say "maybe its not the program for you"..Im sorry is everyone perfect? No...are you perfect??? No!...So why dont you just shut your freaking trap if you have nothing encouraging to say to people!! GASH!! Where is the encouragement..how come 1 cheat gets negative responses..What happened to encouraging people ????? I mean..GAWD...im human!

advice is support?

Uh wow.

That's incredibly rude and snippety of you. Honestly it is the case that there are a million ways to lose weight an so if one is very challenging for you to follow, there is probably one that will fit you better. It's not a bash on your ability or character.

If you think it's stupid- perhaps this is not the right place for you?

I've met alot of people in life...some people are fixers..they try to give solutions to others problems..others are huggers they support whatever solution the person comes up with themselves..either person is only trying to help when help is aked for.......

Honestly i suggest you go into your profile and read through all your posts from start to finish...... I see a trend of negativity and blame ..it's a shame because until you take responsibility for your own actions and reactions it's really really hard for anyone to help ...

What kind of support would you have liked?

I am sorry you feel that way. Maybe the advice you are receiving reflects the attitude you exhibit. This forum is a place of honesty and people are trying to help you. If you don't like it, by all means - don't come back.

And have a nice day.

You're right--no one is perfect, including all us 3FC members. If you post something here, you get what you get! Maybe you'll like the responses, maybe you won't.

As for "cheating" on your weight loss plan--well, the idea is that you stick with the plan, and so folks are probably going to encourage you to do that. Unless someone is holding you down and forcing food between your clenched teeth, you have a choice about what you eat. Yes, sometimes you'll choose to eat something that's not part of your weight loss program. We all have been in that situation. But mostly, if you want to be successful, you have to stay with your plan, and if you go off it, get right back on it again ASAP.

Hang in there. Don't use forum responses as a reason to give up...

Jay

This response is better than mine. Go with this one.

I just have to ask...have you cheated again since your opening post? Kind of seems like you were looking for an excuse to Chow down. What better way to feel sorry for yourself than to write a nasty and expect love and encouragement.

Why would you give up? Why would you come here and blame everyone else, who, in case you haven't noticed...are ALL in the same boat as you are...for your weight? You came here looking for support, you are getting it. You are also getting the hard bitter truth as well, if you can't take it, that's too bad.

We ALL "cheat", we ALL "fall down"...ALL of us...you are THE FIRST PERSON I have ever seen in my 5+ years of coming here, blame the other members. Seriously...you talk about US not being supportive. Where's YOUR support? Take responsibility for YOUR actions, YOUR words, YOUR life! NO one is holding you down forcing that donut down your throat. If you are pissed and angry, by God...GO OUT AND SWEAT IT OUT! Walk, RUN, throw rocks into a lake, pond, ocean, whatever. Scream into a pillow...SOMETHING other then eat and then come here and yell at everyone who is trying to help you.

YES you can come here to vent but remember when you vent on a PUBLIC forum you will get advice...because THAT my friend is WHY YOU CAME HERE. Is it not?

If you were looking for a group that would take your venting, give you sunshine, flowers and hugs and tell you "it's ok to cheat, hang in there, it will get better" and blow all sorts of honeyed words up your rear...you came to the wrong place. Every single ONE of us knows where cheating gets you. It gets you right HERE (take a look at my ticker dear....I've SOOO cheated...WAY too many times in my life).

What is food? FUEL

What is food not? Love, companionship, forgiveness, friendship, activity...and most importantly? THE ANSWER. FOOD IS NEVER THE ANSWER.

Love yourself Port. Take responsibility for YOURSELF. There is NO ONE IN THIS WORLD you can depend on more than yourself. Your it babe...like it or not. We can help but we can't do it for you...we are all on our own journeys...you have to run yours.

A lot of folks read posts through the "new posts" mechanism. So, those readers are not going to realize that your believe sticking with your current program is right for you. For many folks, the biggest key to success is finding what works for them, and attempting a mismatch is like pushing on a string no matter how committed the person is. It's not surprising that a lot of folks would suggest you try a different approach. They are giving advice that is often helpful.

I will take you at your word that you are on the right program and that you've just had a slip-up. That happens. Very few, if any of us, have succeeded at weight loss without any unplanned slip ups. But this is exactly where most folks fail with an all-or-nothing mentality. The key is to put that behind you and get right back on plan. Not Monday, not tomorrow, not even the next meal, but as soon as you can regain control. And each bite is ultimately in your control.

So, you have plenty of company in the slip-up category. Those who can put those slip ups behind them and continue to make progress are fewer, but you *can* be one of them! You've already shown yourself that you can get back on track and make progress. Work towards making fewer slip ups and get back to clean eating ASAP.

In the future, if you want to avoid off-target well-intended responses, you might try being very explicit about what it is that you want in your post (since you know what that is). I've found that also works wonders with my spouse.

Lastly, this is a free site and the responses you get will be pot luck. No matter what you do, some replies are likely to rub you the wrong way. But please let's all try to keep the tone of out posts respectful and helpful. It's what makes coming to this place so great!

besides...it ain't easy that's for sure. If it WERE easy we'd all be size 4 and tone.

just sayin'

Porthardygurl,

Getting angry at others and the world will not solve your problems. You have so much anger, and I've seen it over and over again in your posts. Nobody can help you until you are ready to help yourself. Good luck to you.

Having read your recent posts (from your profile), I cannot see where this anger comes from, so I assume something has set off in your mind and you are taking it out on here. That's fine - I guess it is better us than your family, friends, or whoever.

Remember this - you are not a victim. The "woe is me" attitude only elicits sympathy for so long before all sources of support are alienated. People here are not interested in your abuse. Perhaps it makes you feel better to abuse others, but nobody here is interested in playing that game. You blame others to avoid blaming yourself

Loving this. Beautifully written.