I've binged every day since friday I'm sooo afraid of falling back into the pattern that I was in when I gained over 70 pounds.... waking up in the morning full of determination, only to wind up binging all night. Wake up the next day and repeat. This went on for more than 3 years.
Since I've been losing weight, I've definitely had days I fell off the wagon (probably 4-5 a month), but I always got right back on with no problem the next day. I really thought I had a handle on self control and having a healthier attitude about food (mostly). Now I feel a little out of control.
Last night I tried to focus on how bad I'd feel in the morning but I binged anyway. Now here I am feeling like crap and trying to hold on to the feeling so I won't eat horribly tonight. And yes I do eat filling foods throughout the day, I'm not even hungry when I binge. !!!???
I'm worried that I've gained back pounds (of course I did!) and afraid to weigh myself.
Please share something that has helped you in the past, has anyone else had periods like this and was able to overcome them?? Thanks.
Oh boy can I relate to your situation! I've gained and lost the same 50-70 lbs. for a very long time.....Here is what I have been doing lately:
first, you gotta forgive yourself....self loathing only leads to more emotional eating.
second, try to learn from your errors. When is your most vulnerable time? Have a plan and tackle it head on. Tell yourself it's battle time and have some good ammunition. For me, I know the evenings are the worst. I now eat 15 calorie popsicles (I can have 10 and still be ok, if you see what I mean) and that keeps me busy. Then, I go to my room and close the door.
Finally, I take it one day at a time. Seriously. Sometimes it's one minute at a time. I even lie to myself and tell myself that whatever it is that I want I can have tomorrow. If there's food I want to binge on, I try to throw it away or pour vinegar on it or whatever it takes. I'd rather waste food then waste my body.
Oh and let say that this is the most important part for me: I weigh myself every single day and break a sweat every single day. Those two things really keep me honest.
Love yourself and work hard. You absolutely can turn things around. Don't start tomorrow. Start right now.
Have you tried thinking about WHY you're binging at night? Is it boredom? Is it emotional in any way? You say it's not real hunger, so it's good that you recognize this, but finding out what else you're feeling could help point you in the right direction.
If you're finding time to eat at night when you're not hungry, then another option is picking up a hobby that requires both of your hands. Typing/blogging, writing, drawing, knitting, playing an instrument... Pop a stick of gum in your mouth and try a new hobby.
You'll find what works. In the meantime, you aren't giving up! You're here. You're looking for ways to fix it. You can do this!
I'm in the same boat right now. I swear if I have a couple off days, I feel like I gained 35 pounds back overnight, puts me in the same mental state of dread and self loathe, and the whole "I will do better tomorrow", and then having blown it by lunch. It is a vicious cycle for me. Same dang 30 pounds lost and gained since I was 16. I've been off plan more than on plan the last three weeks, avoiding the scale, the boards, thinking "tomorrow" I will run/eat better, and then "tomorrow" has new obstacles.
Yesterday, I had my first on plan day in a week. I ate 1400 calories and ran 2.5 miles. I forced myself to face the scale. I've had a gain of 2 to 4 lbs, probably mostly water weight and will be gone by the end of the week WHEN (not if) I stick with it for the entire week.
If you binge at night, are you being too tight at your earlier meals?
I mention this because I have to manage my blood sugar and I know it's hard to reel it back in from a total binge if I've misjudged from before. Then after overdoing it is tempting to cut back a lot at the next meal... but then you set up this roller coaster thing of binges.
So I'd look at that to make sure there's not a physical/body reason for the binging like blood sugar wacko.
Next I'd look at emotional/heart reasons. What's different here than usual? Are you stressed? Angry? What are the binge foods? The head hunger ones or the heart hunger ones?
You can read about both head/heart hunger in this book preview:
Sometimes what you want to eat in a binge can help you sort if it is a head thing or a heart thing, and then you can move on to finding the real solution.
Been there! - it's what got me to be the "professional yo-yo dieter" that I am (AHEM! WAS! I WAS a yo-yo dieter!) losing and gaining 30+ pounds over & over & over... good googly moogly!
This time - THIS DIET - I actually "feel" different. I think it is because (for me) the main reason I want to lose the weight is because I WANT TO BE HEALTHY. It actually "feels different" than wanting to look good, or wanting to wear a certain kind of clothes, etc. So in my diet -which is basically calorie counting, but I'm also using other techniques, such as MORE veggies, LESS sugar, etc.- I am reminding myself day by day to NOT "undo" the work I have done thus far. Coming to 3FC really helps! So many people full of experience/advice/encouragement. Also, I have to say, reading the book The Beck Diet Solution helped me with my frame-of-mind. Lots of handy tips & tools to keep on track. And it helps me to remember that ONE "binge" won't hurt you. You can get right back on track at the next meal - even if that meal is the next day.
My favorite piece of advice? It's a question that you must ask yourself. WHAT'S EATING YOU? You say you've binged for the past 4 days and "I'm not even hungry when I binge" - to me, that right there says it all. You're comforting yourself by using food - What is it? Remember the HALT! Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired (altho, you've already said you weren't hungry) So to find out WHY you're eating (needlessly!) find out WHAT'S EATING YOU... Anger? Boredom? Frustration? Are you tired, lonely, sad? - get to the bottom of that, & I bet you'll be back in control in no time!
Thanks so much everyone!!! You are really helping me.
So... the only "why" I can come up with is this- lately I've been starting to feel good about myself (well, better than usual) and this past week I've gotten a lot of compliments on my weight loss. Maybe this made me feel like I had some wiggle room to indulge, like I deserved to be a little bad.... I don't know.
I started binging Friday night, I had a girls night out and figured what the heck- plus I got into an argument with mt husband that night AND it was TOM. So that's a lot right there! Then on Sat into all day Sunday I had the kids to myself, my husband was on a crabbing trip. I guess I was feeling frazzled and a bit sorry for myself... enter food to make me feel better!
As for yesterday I don't know what happened, usually Mondays are a good day for me. So far so good though.
I really DO need a nighttime hobby b/c that's my worst time. I read, but often pair that with food and wine. I have an elliptical, but by the time the kids are asleep all I want to do is relax! I come on here a lot, but when I'm off plan I stay away b/c I'm ashamed.
This is good progress. You've picked apart a few reasons why you went off on a little bender this past weekend.
1) Deserving a treat. This one's kind of iffy, and it can be a slippery slope. Using food as a general reward can land some people in trouble, because as you've seen it sets them back. If someone wants something that's higher in calories, by all means they should plan for it, but not necessarily as a "reward" for "being good". Going out with your friends and using a few extra calories? Normal thing.
2) Some of it was for soothing you during a relaxing time. Aim to avoid using food as comfort. Like you mentioned you probably need a hobby that can keep your hands off food for an hour at night. Replace food with a different, fun activity and give yourself a chance to learn to relax without the food.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ 1980
I come on here a lot, but when I'm off plan I stay away b/c I'm ashamed.
Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!! I'm a WW member, so I'm going to use a saying that my very first leader said:
When you're doing good the meeting needs you, and when you're doing not so good you need the meeting.
Sometimes 3FC needs you, and sometimes you need 3FC.
In other words, there's NO reason to avoid us. We're in the same boat! We make mistakes, we all have obstacles, and even people down at maintenance have some bumps to work out. We do not judge. Plain and simple. We might see things from the outside that aren't as clear-cut from the inside, or we might even be able to just give a hug and a nudge.
Shame should not even enter this equation. So many of us have been through that shame, and it doesn't help, so we do not promote it. No more shame! Just keep coming back. Because sometimes we can lend a shoulder to others, and sometimes we need a shoulder to lean on. It's just the way of the world!
RJ - finding alternative ways of self-soothing are central to emotional regulation. Most of us here have developed an unhealthy habit of using food to emotionally regulate. The paradox is that this then makes us feel worse afterward (through shame), and keeps the cycle going.
So - to prevent bingeing, find alternative self-soothing methods and make a commitment to try them before you let yourself opt for your familiar unhelpful habit of binge eating.
And - regarding the shame. Challenge your sense of shame with one of compassion. Food as a source of comfort has its roots in our earliest days of experiencing feeding not only for nourishment, but linked directly with comfort through closeness with our caregivers. On top of this we have thousands of years of evolution making us respond chemically to fat and sugar in a positive way. The strength of response varies between individuals, and we're the unlucky ones who find it harder. It's very very hard to break when the habit has been reinforced over many many years.
Once we stop feeling shame, it's much easier to move quickly back toward the positive drive for health.
I should probably come clean and say that I'm a clinical psychologist by profession - one with significant weight issues obviously. So to a certain extent I guess it's a case of 'heal thyself', and you may think I should just shut up when I'm so early on in my current phase of trying to get back on track to health. I'm certainly not saying I've cracked it, but I know I feel better when I'm not kicking myself, and when I'm finding other more helpful ways to look after myself.
Thanks so much everyone!!! You are really helping me.
So... the only "why" I can come up with is this- lately I've been starting to feel good about myself (well, better than usual) and this past week I've gotten a lot of compliments on my weight loss. Maybe this made me feel like I had some wiggle room to indulge, like I deserved to be a little bad.... I don't know.
I started binging Friday night, I had a girls night out and figured what the heck- plus I got into an argument with mt husband that night AND it was TOM. So that's a lot right there! Then on Sat into all day Sunday I had the kids to myself, my husband was on a crabbing trip. I guess I was feeling frazzled and a bit sorry for myself... enter food to make me feel better!
As for yesterday I don't know what happened, usually Mondays are a good day for me. So far so good though.
I really DO need a nighttime hobby b/c that's my worst time. I read, but often pair that with food and wine. I have an elliptical, but by the time the kids are asleep all I want to do is relax! I come on here a lot, but when I'm off plan I stay away b/c I'm ashamed.
As hard as it will be, now's not the time to punish yourself with shame. When you're vulnerable you have to be a friend to yourself, of course it's easier said than done though.
What I like to think of is how I would talk to a friend who was going through it, and talk to myself the same way.
You seem to be doing that by articulating some of your triggers, awareness is always a good thing.
I relate to your fears though. I've lost about the same amount of weight as you have, and have about the same amount of weight to go, and I'm scared that I'll discontinue my healthy habits and revert back to my old destructive behavioral patterns that lead to only one thing.
It's strange in that I think some of it for me is the fact that I'm no longer at that tipping point I was a few months ago. Now I'm nowhere near where I wish to be, but I've lost some weight and the pressure's eased, along with my motivation, so the behavioral patterns I'd changed are creeping back.
I think the advice others have given you about isolating triggers, and having a plan in place to combat them are sound.
You've come so far, I know you can reach any goal you want to.
As for the fear of not being successful ultimately... I SO have this problem. It is one of my major obstacles, and the reason why I keep bouncing back up to my start weight. Total self-fulfilling prophecy.
Two things I'm doing to combat this:
1) Positive self-talk. I am worth it, I am a wonderful person, I am so much more than my weight, I love my body, my body allows me to do amazing things! I don't want to mistreat the only body I have. Kick out all the "I'm so fat/I'm a failure/I can't/It's impossible" from your inner monologue. It takes conscious effort but it really helps.
2) As cliche as it sounds, take it one day at a time. You will handle maintenance when you get there! Why stress out about it yet? You have plenty on your plate in the here and now. Focus on making TODAY a success, and deal with tomorrow tomorrow.
My binge window is about 2 pm to 6 pm... If I can make it through those hours, I am set for the evening. It *definitely* helps to find a distraction. Anything that will keep you busy. A hobby I'm trying to pick up that keeps my brain totally engaged is painting... I'm no pro or anything but it's really fun and engaging and before I know it, hours have passed! I think finding a distraction is key.
I love that WW quote Lovely posted. Don't be afraid of coming to 3FC even when you're at your lowest. Use the wonderful resources (people) here to find strength to keep your head up!!
WOW, some really great words of wisdom, thank you so much! And Snowlost, you hit the nail on the head when you talked about easing up b/c we've lost some weight and some of the 'pressure' is off. My clothes are no longer skin tight, I feel better physically, I no longer constantly feel like 'the fattest person in the room', etc etc... b/c of this I guess the intensity I felt has lessened and I give into a binge much more easily. Falling back into old, horrible habits.
So... right now I need to talk it out b/c I'm on the edge a bit. It's 9:30, prime binging time for me. What I *WANT* to do is- 'relax' with some wine from the fridge, b/c I have a million christening invites to address and I don't feel like it, and wine will make it feel less like a chore (convoluted way of thinking I know, but it's honest). Of course I don't ONLY want the wine, then I want food. I don't have a whole lot of junk in the house, so I would desperately search and eat the rest of a box of Cheez Its, some french fries from the freezer, more than likely I'd make a box of rice and eat the whole thing, with a ton of soy sauce. Then, even though I don't have a sweet tooth, I'd finish off some m and m's b/c after all that salt it would taste pretty good.
About halfway through this I'd start feeling like crap. I would stear clear of this site, b/c hearing about people making the right choices while I was making such a wrong one would depress me even more. I would feel full and sleepy and probably wouldn't finish the invites b/c I'd be too preoccupied with eating. I'd be cranky with my husband.
So, I'm not going to do that. Because no matter what I do tonight, tomorrow morning will come all the same... do I want to wake up thinking, "Man did I mess up last night! I feel gross and tired and now it's going to be that much harder to get back on plan today. 5 days of binging! This is not good." Or do I want to wake up thinking, "I am SO glad I stayed on plan yesterday, it could have been a slippery downhill slope but I stayed strong, and that makes it all the easier to continue that today. Go me!"
Ok, sorry for the LONG and somewhat cheesy rambling, but I really had to get that out, sort of like a pep talk for myself. WHY would I choose to binge when it makes me feel like crap? Nope nope nope.
I'm going to go put on a DVR'd show while I address these invites. Then, since I'm a bit hungry and have only had 1150 cals, I'm going to have a 100 calorie popcorn and maybe an apple. Then I'm coming upstairs with my Kindle and a glass of water. (Ok, I may sneak a diet pepsi in there somewhere as a treat, shhh. I like to dip my popcorn in it, I'm very weird!! )
Thanks again for all the wonderful advice and encouragement, you guys rock!!!
RJ: good luck. one thing I've learned on my quest is to avoid the all or nothing approach and immediately get back on track...not the next day or next week...but the next meal.
I guess one way I avoid late night binges is that I never have anything to binge on! I live alone and I don't have children, so when I'm in the grocery store, I've used this mantra for the last 5 or so years -- "when it's all gone, if you didn't eat all of it, you likely ate most of it" :-) and for some reason that has prevented me from having snacks in my home.
You have lost a significant amount of weight and I wish you all the luck getting back on track!
Need some encouragement please!
I'm sooo afraid of falling back into the pattern that I was in when I gained over 70 pounds.... waking up in the morning full of determination, only to wind up binging all night. Wake up the next day and repeat. This went on for more than 3 years. 
Oh boy can I relate to your situation! I've gained and lost the same 50-70 lbs. for a very long time.....Here is what I have been doing lately:
You can do this!
) 
