So, I don't really know why, but I just CAN'T work out with people around. Which is a serious problem considering I live with two room mates. Every time one of them comes home and I'm in the middle of a work out (doesn't matter if I just started or have 2 minutes to go) I panic and race to turn it off and pretend I was doing something else.
I've tried talking to my room mates who both say they don't care or even notice I'm working out, but I still can't keep doing it when they come in. I can't do it with them because if they're behind me they'll see my fat jiggle, if they're next to me they'll see I don't move as high or as fast, if they're in front of me they'll notice I'm out of breath. If they are upstairs they'll here the floor shake and notice how much I weigh because the whole house shakes like there is an earth quake.
I know this is a mental thing, I just can't get past it. I've tried going in the yard to do yoga and I can't get past the idea a neighbor may see me. I've tried gyms and its TEN TIMES WORSE even though I know no one is paying attention to me. I've tried my room but there is just not enough space there and I'm just so scared someone is going to come in.
Even biking to work, I feel ashamed. Like I'm pretending to be healthy. I feel like people judge me because I'm sweating, or breathing heavily, or not going fast enough. I just feel judged and I can't really get past it. I need to work out for longer than a few minutes in hopes someone doesn't come home, or more days than the rare day that I actually have the house to myself.
Anyone else have this problem? Anyone else know how to muscle threw it? I can't seem to get past it... even though I know it's mental. I can't get courage to just turn on the TV and do the SHRED or Tae Bo with a room mate upstairs and even turning it on I can't do it fully because every noise makes me race to turn it off.... God I sound like a looser...
I can't do it unless I'm alone as well. That's why I do it at home alone lol. If people around were stopping me from doing it, I'd have to suck it up and do it anyway!
I had the same problem when i used to have a room mate.. my room mate was also super skinny.. like the kinda skinny where she was always trying to gain weight and i was always trying to lose it lol.. so what we did was made a deal.. she would leave for the hour i needed to work out... either she would be at work already and i would have her schedule so i knew there was not chance of her walking in or she would just go get lost. she understood it was important to me to get that work out time .. so just talk to you room mates and work out a schedule.
I REALLY know what you're talking about. We had to stay with the in-laws for a couple of months when we were in between homes and they would sit and watch, ugh! I finally just made it clear I did not want anybody there watching. Normally I did it at lunch time since they weren't home. Is there anyway you could find a time that your roommate are not going to be there for sure? Just plan it out ahead of time and make it clear that it's really important for you.
Another thing to try... what about water aerobics? I know some people freak about being seen in a swimming suit BUT I've done it more than once and most of the time it's always with a number of other ladies who are also obese/overweight and are trying to lose weight too. I never, ever felt judged there at all. Plus, you're doing your exercises underwater so nobody can see anything but your head. Oh, and you don't sweat as much because the water cools you down.
FWIW, I'm definitely over it now. I go to the gym in my apt building and I'm by far the largest female there and pretty much the only one who sweats (we have a lot of women who just go and walk on the treadmill every day for an hour). Eventually I gained enough confidence to get past it.
It sounds like you could be me. Can you just take a walk around the block or something? Can you get a dog to walk, or borrow one? I never felt self-conscious when I was just walking. Jumping around to a video? Uh, yeah, I don't do that with people watching. It makes me feel so stupid. As far as riding your bike, what's not normal about that? Lots of people ride bikes, so don't worry about that.
I second the water aerobics. I took a class because my knees are bad (from doing step-aerobics), and I really liked it. Most of the people were heavy, so I didn't feel strange about it. The instructor was really good, too.
I use to have the problem with my mom. I do fine when she's in her room but when she came out i would panic. So, whenever she came around i made her do it with me! That stopped that problem quick! lol
I hate working out at the gym with people because i get so paranoid. I don't want them to hear my huffin and puffin lol. Whenever someone gets on the machine next to me, i always pause my music to see if i could hear myself breath lol.
I wish I could do Water Aerobics. I can't afford classes or gym memberships though, not anymore. The only gym I can afford has no pool. (Broke college kid paying tuition out of pocket. ^^
The problem with room mates, it the schedules for all of us differ so much and change weekly. I'm lucky to get the house to myself once every two or three weeks especially considering how much I'm home. One room mate is cool with leaving for an hour, the other puts up a complaint about how it's not ok for me to ask her to leave HER home so I can work out. She kind of has a point...
I guess I'll have to get over it, but I don't think I'll put in 100% when they're around... I'm just too nervous about it, which sounds so lame.
TheCandEs I do walk my dog, but walking doesn't cut if for me. I need REAL exercise, I need something more to lose any weight. But it was a great suggestion.
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the other puts up a complaint about how it's not ok for me to ask her to leave HER home so I can work out. She kind of has a point...
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she is also kind of a jerk if you were asking for an hour for something like having a boyfriend over.. i could see her complaining.. but this is for your health and well being. im guessing she isn't a friend, because a friend would be happy to give u the space u needed.. well. room mates don't last forever and one day you will be in your own apt and not have to worry about these things
mickey
This is me 100% too!! I'm living with my boyfriend and he likes to stay home on the computer or watching TV. I love him so much and trust him with my life, but I cannot for the life of me work out while he is home. I doesn't matter that he is bigger than me and wouldn't judge me even if he wasn't. Ditto to working out in the yard/walking/biking.
People told me to just get over it and join the gym. I knew from past experience it wouldn't work. My first year in college, I went to the gym to get a free fitness plan. I went once. I had to wait another year before I could go back to school, transferred to a different school, and was determined to use the gym. Again, I went once. So I was not very willing to spend the $40/month for the gym at home. But people pushed and pushed, thinking they were helping. So many times, I had my shoes and clothes and water all in a bag, got in the car, drove down there, ..., then kept driving.
It's something deeper than just being self conscious, because my brain tells me nobody is judging, etc. It's just a horrible gut reaction. I'm comforted knowing other people feel this too. (My fist roommate told me she knew how I felt..... She couldn't have been over 110lbs. Haha yeah.... She must know EXACTLY how I felt! )
I've had some of the same feelings, but I'm getting over them. For me, a lot of it is choosing stuff that I feel reasonably comfortable with anyway (I don't like exercise DVDs, but do like walking, going to the gym, martial arts, etc.) and then just taking the plunge and trying to stay focused on the activity at hand, rather than the other people in the area.
Most people really won't care what you do. People tend to be pretty focused on their own lives. But even if they do care about your workout routine - so what? Why worry about the opinions of random people you see while you're out biking? Why worry about your roommates' opinions? You've already tried to work it out with them. If they end up having a problem with your activities or schedule, let them bring it up. Remember - you are as deserving of a healthy, active life as anybody else. Most people would tell you that, and the few that would try to cut you down aren't worth listening to (and are definitely not worth organizing your life or activities around). A "f--- 'em" attitude can be really helpful sometimes - even if you've got to fake it at first.
BTW - Getting sweaty and out of breath are indicators of a good workout. That's nothing to be embarrassed about. Have you ever seen hardcore amateur or professional athletes after a workout? They're usually drenched in sweat. FWIW, I'd be way more impressed with a roommate of any weight or fitness level who was so into trying to achieve her personal goals that she obviously pushed herself than I would be with a roommate who only seemed to be going through the motions.
Hm, short term solution - organise times when your room mates aren't there.
Long term - see a counseller to talk about your issues and deal, and get past it.
Or just suck it up and get on with it! - Seriously no one cares! They won't sit there all day thinking about the overweight girl doing the exersise "pretending" to be healthy. But if they keep seeing you, and seeing that you're loosing weight, they'll probably be proud of you, and be happy for you!
Or just suck it up and get on with it! - Seriously no one cares!
I agree with this.
I don't mean to be harsh but I'm a big fan of tough love and in this case, I think you just need to get over it and realize your roommates (nor complete strangers on the street/at the gym/next door) really don't care about the number on your scale every morning.
I used to be horrified of exercising in public because God forbid a 400+ lb woman try to exercise - that might send people in fainting fits! Then I started walking on the running trails with my dog which led to jogging/walking intervals and I realized that not one single person ever stared or snicked at me as they went past!
But you know what almost every person DID say or do? "Have a great weekend!", "Cute dog - what kind is she?" or even "Good for you!" but never did anyone say "Wow, lady, you're too fat to exist" or "You better get home before you have a heart attack" or any of the other things I thought they might say.
Perhaps you could try going on Meetup or Craigslist and trying to find a local weight loss buddy or group - a person or group that is overweight and understands where you're coming from so maybe if you work out with them, you won't feel so self conscious? If I remember correctly, Meetup groups are usually pretty cheap or free and, at least in my area, there are a lot of walking/running/biking groups with lots of women ranging from mildly overweight to morbidly obese.
I'm having a hard time getting my head around this because I know for sure that none of the people that see you are judging you like you think they are. Laugh it off and lighten up! At the risk of sounding harsh rather than supportive, everyone who sees us can see how big we are! It isn't a secret! And NO ONE cares! When I joined my gym in January at 252 pounds, I was often the biggest and/or oldest person in any give exercise class or using the machines. Laugh it off - you're at the gym to improve your health (first) and appearance (second). So is everyone else. The BEST support I've had in the last 5 months is other gym members (that don't even know my name) telling me that they can see that I've made progress. Give it a try and allow yourself to be who you are and take support from any source. Love yourself as you are first, then love yourself enough to make changes for the better, no matter what.
I have an ODD obstacle, really need help here.
I REALLY know what you're talking about. We had to stay with the in-laws for a couple of months when we were in between homes and they would sit and watch, ugh! I finally just made it clear I did not want anybody there watching. Normally I did it at lunch time since they weren't home. Is there anyway you could find a time that your roommate are not going to be there for sure? Just plan it out ahead of time and make it clear that it's really important for you.
if you were asking for an hour for something like having a boyfriend over.. i could see her complaining.. but this is for your health and well being. im guessing she isn't a friend, because a friend would be happy to give u the space u needed.. well. room mates don't last forever and one day you will be in your own apt and not have to worry about these things 
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