I spent April through December of last year in this mode. To finally get it together, I started with small changes. Like no more fast food, but I still ate plenty at home. Those small changes started making a small difference though and suddenly I wanted more. I worked my way into the big changes and have been going strong for over a month. You'll get there, sometimes you just have to ease your way into it! Good luck!

I lied to myself for years

I am happy to see you are reaching out!

Oaklahoma,

A short time ago I could have written the exact story you did. Wow can I identify with you!!

I wanted to want to diet but I did not really want to diet. Not sure if that made any sense to you. It was not until I wanted a better future with every fiber of my being that I was willing to do whatever it took to change my lifestyle.

I prayed to God for relief from my food compulsion. I am not saying you need to do this. I am only saying what I did. Then I threw out the junk food, got it out of the house. I figure if I have to go to the store to get some more that the driving time may allow me to return to sanity before I buy it.
I started eating six times a day. Three meals and three snacks. I weigh and measure everything and track all my food on the computer. Everything!! if I have a one calorie radish I record it. I am on this forum a lot. Why because the members give me support and encouragement.

If at all possible find an exercise buddy. I walk with a neighbor from down the road. We talk while walking and exercise becomes a pleasent experience to me.

You can do this!!
If I can do it anyone can do it.

Larry
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Success will never be a big step in the future, success is a small step taken just now. ~Jonatan Mårtensson

Yep, I think the key phrase in what GlamourGirl wrote is: "If you find that it's not working." There's always something else to try; you're never a lost cause and you're never incapable of bettering your health. Go big, make small changes, aim for something between those two extremes--it's all good, there've been people who have had success with all those ways.

I remember the other day reading a post from someone who was doing Atkins, but started in on the second phase of it. She just...skipped induction. Skipped it! I'm not doing Atkins, but I was stunned at that post; it really emphasized to me that we get to be in control of this process.

There are trade-offs. I know I could probably lose more quickly if I fiddled with things a bit, but I trade faster weight loss for the sustainable, even enjoyable weight loss I have now. Some trade-offs I won't take: eating blah-tasting food, eliminating entire food groups, and going hungry are things I refuse to do (I've done them before, so I know they don't work for me).

Maybe that's how you can find the plan that works for you. What have you done before that hasn't worked, and why? Figure out what you're willing to trade off and what is non-negotiable for you, then design your plan around that.

Keep looking for the right plan. The chances are extremely good that you aren't failing at your plan, your plan is failing you. When you're eating stuff you like and doing physical activities you enjoy, you don't need much willpower to stick with it.

Find that place!

I understand how you feel..ive been there myself..closet eating and not exercising when i said i would..ive been in that place before..One of the things that was really important for me to look at was : Why am i sneaking? Why am i binging? Cause thats what it sounds like you are doing..Usually these compulsive behaviours are prompted by underlying feelings that arent being dealt with..its an extremely addictive and merry-go-round cycle..We say "i will do such and such".. then we dont do such and such and we have this feeling..like "i feel stupid, i hate myself"..then we go and over-indulge in sweets or fatty foods and then we hate ourselves even more so we eat more..then we feel depressed and we rather hide than go and work out or try again..we have succumbed to a sense of failure..

See, its not good..for no one..Somewhere along the lines, you have determined in your own heart, that you are a failure. You have determined that you cant do it and that you will fail. You dont have a fear of failure, you have a fear of success. Its easier to hide and eat and fail than it is to step it up and get out there and prove to yourself that you can do it.

So let me tell you this..you ARE going to lose weight..and you ARE going to be motivated and you WILL work out..BUT..only when the time is right for you. Only when YOU are ready to do it. Yes, motivation to do something is powerful..BUT..if your not ready..then your not ready..but that doesnt mean you wont ever be ready..Take a look at how you feel..determine to work through that feeling and then get back on track with the program..and every time you begin to have a feeling that is causing you to feel bad and make you want to go back to your brownies..come here instead..get encouraged..get support..vent if you have to..cry if you want to..let it all go..and then..it will happen for you!

Fining motivation... I guess it starts with why do you want to lose weight?

What is your reason for wanting the loss of weight?

Then focus on how badly you want that loss for that reason or reasons.

I am no expert on motivation for weight loss. I attempted to lose my weight on a whim, a suggestion of nothing more then visiting a website for calorie necessities and food ideas as a method of attempting to lose weight. I didn't do it for someone else, not for family, not for appearance, I wanted to do it simply to try, to obtain something I had never had obtained before. I wanted to get lean and regain strength and muscle because I never had it, and I wanted it. Appearance was the side effect, health was the side effect. I'm not even sure why I want it, I just know I do.

The more you want it the easier it can potentially become. So make sure you want it, and let that be part of your guidance towards your goals.

I never believed I could, and yet, I did. I believe you can to. I had tried before, it never did anything, so I stopped because there was no effect. When I finally got the effect I wanted for the first time, when I finally found what worked, I slammed my foot through the door and kept moving. Want it and I'm sure you'll find the motivation. But you have to want it badly enough.

I think one reason maintaining motivation is so difficult is because while we all want to lose weight and see the rewards in it, we might fail to see what we're gaining by... well, by not losing.

For example, many of us use food as a crutch, as comfort. It feels good to eat, we like it, it's safe. Losing weight means challenging this relationship. Perhaps losing the comfort. We don't know how we'll get it back. Change is scary, and losing weight and keeping it off really does mean a lifestyle change.

So, while we're motivated to lose the weight for all kinds of reasons (health, looks, function), we also might be motivated not to lose weight, because it makes other things easier.

wow. I am so surprised at all the responses i got from this thread. Thank you guys so much. I am really touched that yall took the time to write all these encouraging words. It brought tears to my eyes. I will take the things you guys have said to heart. Thanks so much!

I agree with what a lot of the previous posts. Baby steps! Make a goal each week, you want to walk 15 minutes 3 times per week, eat 5 servings of fruits/veggies per day, drink more water, etc. Start out small. Changing EVERYTHING on the drop of a dime is hard, and even harder to do long-term. The fact that you came here for help is awesome, you haven't given up! Keep trying!!!

The most satisfying lies are the ones we tell ourselves. - Me

Habits are hard to break. New ones are even more difficult to develop. There's such a disconnect between wanting to do something and actually getting up to do it. Instead of 5 minutes of walking, shoot for 10 today. Baby steps.

Hi, Oklahomachick! I am in OK, too; just outside of the OKC metro. I know that our weather lately has me feeling lazy and sluggish. Maybe that is part of the problem for you, too.

Why not set a short term goal for yourself....maybe 10 pounds lost?? When you reach that goal, you will be so inspired that you'll be ready to take off!!

Be sure whatever you are doing for exercise is something that you actually enjoy. I do the Walk At Home/Walk Away The Pounds DVDs in my living room every weekday before work. I love how it makes me feel.

You also might try keeping things like brownies out of the house so they won't be a temptation for you. At least put them up and away out of sight. That helps me.

Good luck!!

all of you guys motivated me to just get up and do something even if its just one step at a time. I went out and got jillian michaels 30 day shred video and mannnnnn thats a workout! Lol but i did it today for 20 mins without stopping!

Oh man the voice of sabotage- I hate that stupid voice. The key is to tell it NO!

"Oh eat a brownie it's okay, you'll do better tomorrow."
"NO!"

I literally would sit there and count how many times I'd think about food- and at first it added up to like over 20 times a day, now it's only a few times a day. I find I do it when I'm bored- so if that could be the case with you find things to fill your time. I fill my time with playing with my pets, crocheting, spending more time with my husband, etc.

I agree with baby steps if going cold turkey didn't work. I used to have these crazy "plans" for myself like work out an hour a day and eat 1200 calories. Did NOT work at all. I started out slowly but most of my changes have stuck and I'm very happy with them

Oh! I saw that episode just this weekend. it's the firs time I've ever seen the show. Very inspirational! (I wanted to smack the mom though for a while )

I also like watching shows like that... there is one on like lifetime called Too fat for 15 or something. It's a good one too. They are really motivational!

LR

that is great!! congrats!!! That is a tough one for a beginner, way to go!

I've been lying to myself too, for months. I've been eating sugary cakey things almost whenever I want. I weighed today and I am up 6 pounds from last month!! I work out almost every day, I can do 18 pushups in a row; I'm pretty flexible BUT I have been ignoring my jiggling belly and bigger hips. Ugh!! today was MY wake up call, seeing that I'm up 6 pounds.

Everyone gave such good advice here.