I just ate a whole medium pizza. Who does that? How did I get here? I can not live like this. I can't breathe, I can't move, I am so TIRED and miserable all the time. Nothing fits. I look terrible.

I have spent the last two hours thinking about what has worked for me in the past and two things stand out and they're kind of the same thing:

1. Having a plan, any plan. Just A PLAN.
2. Being prepared.

When I have a set plan to follow or an idea of what I'm supposed to be doing, I don't struggle so much. I've lost weight on any diet you can think of as long as there are RULES. Jenny Craig was great because all I had to do was follow the plan and buy some yogurt, fruit, and vegetables every now and then. I need a plan, a template to guide me so I can go on auto pilot and know what I'm supposed to do. If I don't have to make decisions, I won't make the wrong one.

Anyone else out there want to be my partner and check in daily? I don't care what your plan is, but I'd like to compare notes and share motivation and a commitment with someone who also has a LOT to lose and is just starting out. I want to be able to say, hey, I have my plan for tomorrow or yes, I HAVE made my meal plan for next week, have you? Anyone?

I have some pretty big markers coming up - my class reunion and a wedding anniv on the same weekend. I know I will be SO SAD if those pass by and I'm thinking about how much I've gained since graduation, how much I've gained since we got married. The big 4-0 is looming. I'm on blood pressure meds. All the older people in my family have heart problems and are diabetic. I don't want to end up like that!

Anyone else feeling the push to get serious?

I will be your partner! I know what you mean. I ate half a jar of marshmallow fluff yesterday.....and the whole time I was mentally kicking myself. It was caused by emotional stress that I am not taking care of properly.

I agree that a plan and preparation are the 2 key ingredients. You have to set things up so that no matter what happens, you will stay with your plan. I am here for you.

Nah, you are not the only one; A LOT of people can and will eat a whole pizza if given the chance!! You're acknowledging it is not acceptable and that is a good start.

I was in your very position a few yrs ago, I just had to do something but what? I stumbled across this website and found SOOO much info on calorie counting. I had already seen that starving myself wasn't working and that I needed a "plan". And even a lot of us here still have moments where we eat what we KNOW isn't on plan for the day or eating too much of whatever actually is on plan....I think it is great you are asking for a buddy. Preparedness is what brings it all together and sometimes we all need a little help and encouragement. You can HAVE pizza, just not the whole thing. Like, I want to eat a whole cake sometimes!! I swear I do! And not for any real reason other than cake is just sooooo good to me and I find it hard to control my portions. Sugar/bread are my frenemies . They make me feel great while in the moment and then bam! They make me look bad, literally, lol

You can do this and you can find a plan that will stick with you forever!!!

Do you have a facebook or MSN? I could really use a weight loss buddy and we're similar weights.

*hug* You're not alone!

I've eaten a lot of pizza in my life. So people do that, don't worry. Now that I'm on Atkins I even could eat a whole pizza, well just the toppings.

I've eaten just the toppings for dinner once or twice my family ordered pizza because I didn't want to go off the diet, or be bummed out because I didn't eat pizza too!

I have downed a medium pizza too girl, I feel ya. But, you are here now. You recognized it, you aknowledged it, and you are here. You are on your way!

I've never eaten a whole pizza before, but I've fantasized about it, which I think is probably more weird than just doing it. Hey, you are here right now and determined! I think the weight loss support system will do wonders. Good luck to you, hang in there

i feel you. i've been there.

i can be your check in buddy! pm me if you'd like
i'm currently not working, so i have lots of time on my hands and i'd like to be accountable to someone and vice versa!

This may seem TOTALLY out in left field, and the only reason I bring it up is because you sound SO similar to me (other than that I was starting off at quite a bit higher weight). Almost 4-0, high blood pressure, tired ALL the time, easily able to polish off a medium pizza. How are you sleeping? Does anyone ever tell you that you snore really loud and/or stop breathing when you sleep? Do you bounce right out of bed in the morning after a good 7-8 hours of sleep, or do you feel like you could sleep all night, but still take 2 naps during the day?

The reason I ask is that last April I had a sleep study and found out I have really severe sleep apnea. Since getting it treated, everything has changed. The first thing I noticed was that my appetite was really different. I'd eat 2 pieces of pizza and start to feel STUFFED as I would if I'd eaten the whole thing. I found out that with impaired sleep, 2 key appetite hormones go completely out of whack and you have a much less effective "off switch". No way I would have believed it if it hadn't happened to me in a really stark way. I decided to see what would happen if I took this new appetite in a healthy direction and really gave weight loss another good try, and it has been almost effortless this time compared to when I was sleep deprived. I've lost 82 lbs with no signs of slowing down, my house is decluttered, my budget is on track, I'm exercising, and my blood pressure on last check was 117/68 with no meds.

I like to throw this out there every now and then because I know I have had sleep apnea most of my life and fixing it has been THE difference. Millions of people have it and don't know it, and I always wonder how many morbidly obese people on this site have it and would benefit from treatment. So even if you don't have a sleep problem, there's my public service announcement for the day!

I was on a bender last week, gained 3 lbs, got my act in gear, managed to lose the 3lbs I gained, plus 1.5 more.

I was feeling pretty crummy about falling off the wagon. No real excuse, my husband was going through his denial stage about his Diabetes diagnosis last month, and I just fell in with his poor eating habits, it was easy. But getting back on track was easy too, because now I know that eating healthy doesn't mean starving.

Chin up, I think most people fall off the wagon sometimes, it's more about getting up, and getting back into the swing of things, in my opinion!

also had a bad week...I feel ya, hon. I had half a medium pizza for lunch yesterday...then an hour later I had leftovers, then dinner, then what could be considered another dinner...

basically 4 or 5 full meals within 6 hours.


Good news is, today's a new day!

I could really use a partner if you are up to it!

You know what? Before I got serious about my weight this time around, I think I ate my weight in pecan pralines. That does way more caloric damage than your pizza (c'mon, sugar, brown sugar, butter, heavy cream )

I have tried to hang on to that feeling afterwards. I felt like total crud between sugar highs and crashes. At one point I had so much sugar my freakin' ears were buzzing. Absolutely awful.

Start eating better and you'll feel better. But write down how you felt after the pizza, mentally and physically to keep with you as a reminder why you want to eat healthier. If you fall off again, so what? It happens, but get up and get on plan again immediately (not tomorrow, next meal/snack). Eventually you'll be on plan more than off which is what matters.

Wow, thanks for all the replies and suggestions! For anyone interested in being buddies, watch this space. I will be updating and I hope you will, too.

I love the idea of someone fantasizing about eating a whole pizza. At least you stop there! A friend of mine sent me all the info for the Weigh Down plan, which is Christian based. It took me weeks to work up the nerve to read it because I thought...wow, I can't get God involved unless I'm serious and sometimes I just need to eat that whole pan of brownies. That should've been a clue RIGHT THERE that something was about to go very very wrong (about 80 pounds worth of wrong)!

Muffin, the sugar crashes kill me. I'm not huge on sweets, I'm much more about savory but every now and then I'll want chocolate or cake or something and I feel AWFUL after (one piece, feel fine, whole lot - ugh. Horrible. Shaky, not to mention GUILTY). I have really enjoyed doing whole foods/low carb(ish) in the past but it's so hard to do with my husband. I would have to feed us totally different things - and he has been successful low carbing in the past, he just can't let go of the idea that low carb is "diet" and "normal" is sitting at your desk eating bags of hard candy all day. He was that kid who could never keep weight on...till he hit thirty. Yes, it does catch up with you sometime.

Dogs, sorry about your husband's diabetes diagnosis. All the adults in my family are diabetic in their late 50s and on and I KNOW I'm following in their foot steps.

Shannon! I TOTALLY snore! SO MUCH! When you wake YOURSELF up, you know it's bad. I didn't snore when I wasn't so overweight so I assumed being fat was causing it, didn't realize it could go both ways. I do know that the year after my daughter was born, she NEVER slept. In the weeks where she was doing ok, I could lose weight. In the weeks where she was sleeping in 20 minute bursts, I couldn't lose an ounce, no matter what. I know sleep is super important. I'm going to have to discuss this with my doctor.

There's so much more I want to add but I'm running short of time, if I didn't reply I'm sorry! I so appreciate everyone speaking up! I feel SLIGHTLY less desperate and freaked out (still, a WHOLE medium pizza! Crazy!)!

I have done my shopping and I'm basing my plan on Jenny Craig because it was easy (portion control, calorie counting, and some pre-prepared foods because that's just easy). I also really really LIKE routine and will happily eat the same thing or handfull of things for ages, I'm your basic 2 year old trapped in a 38 year old body (plus 150 pounds of fat).

My basic plan:

breakfast - oatmeal, milk
snack - yogurt, fruit
lunch - frozen meal, steamed vegetable
snack - fruit, nuts
dinner - protein, vegetable, whole grain
snack - popcorn, grapes

I found when I did WW that if I could save a savor (popcorn) and sweet (frozen grapes) snack for night time, I felt satisfied.

Also, no eating in front of the tv or computer - both habits I had broken for years and then lately I've gotten lazy.

Lastly, water with meals and hot tea with snacks. Again, good habits I picked up with JC and WW and then got lazy about.

I've also read the Superfoods Rx books and I LOVE them, but I'm totally overwhelmed by trying to fit ALL that stuff in so I'm working on it...a few at a time, then I'll branch out.

The last thing, and this is really motivating, as my friend B used to say when I'd complain about breakouts: garbage in, garbage out. I look so tired. My skin is so dry and old looking. Eating right is not just about weight, it's clearly bringing me down on all fronts...my weight, my skin, I'm tired. It's just time to change things. This is not a hardship, I'm blessed that all these things are things I can control.

And now I should've left ten minutes ago! Everyone catch me up! What are your plans and what works best for you?

hey! glad to see you back and kudos for coming up with a plan. i feel you on trying to work every superfood in- i'm still working on that. i try to eat as much of a variety of veggies and fruits, but i'm on a budget, and sometimes, sometimes, its just cheaper to stick to my old faithfuls. i'm kinda getting bored though, i like variety. but- my goal for next time i go shopping is to reincorporate some of my old faves that i've ignored for a few months (avocados, tomatoes, kale, peppers-if they're cheap!)
i looooove popcorn for snacking!

i currently follow ww online, and i do a mix of exercises- c25k for cardio, 30 day shred, and yoga. have you thought about what kind of activity you might like to incorporate?

what's been working for me is allowing myself that indulgent meal about once a week, once every two week, dependending on my budget. i think it keeps me from feeling like i'm missing out and helps keep me on plan. if i didn't do that, it would probably spin me into a binge.

anyhow, hope your day is going well!!!