It's true that some unhealthy baviors have less severe consequences than many other harmful behaviors, but that doesn't mean that it is necessary to indulge in a behavior because it's popular and less harmful than some. No one needs to eat cookies or apple cobbler, and throwing away a cookie or cobbler doesn't mean that the behavior controls you.

What I find baffling is why a choice that is seen as a sign of strenght for a behavior with severe consequences is seen as a sign of weakness for a behavior with less severe ones. If an alcoholic throwing away wine (rather than saving it for social drinking friends) is a good choice, why is throwing away a cookie a bad one?



People have said the same thing (and some still do) about alcohol, smoking, gambling and other behaviors too. Pitching the food is a legitimate whay to control the behavior. It may not be the only way, but it is a legitimate way (and the research suggests it's a more effective way)


If you were a compulsive gambler and bought an instant lottery ticket, deciding to give (or even throw away) the ticket wouldn't be "letting the behavior control you."

If you give up smoking, and find an old pack, throwing it away rather than saving it for when smoking friends visit, isn't letting the behavior control you.

And if someone gives you cake or cobbler (even if that someone is yourself) throwing it away doesn't mean the behavior is controlling you. Throwing away the food is a way to control the behavior, not a sign that you don't.




Not many, but if more people did, weight loss success rates would probably be less dismal. The most common method isn't always the most effective

I have a BA and MA in psychology, and studied substand abuse and other behavior disorder treatment, and most early treatments were aimed at teaching the person to resist rather than avoid temptations. But willpower is actually the least effective method. Removing yourself from the tempting situation, or removing the temptation from the situation is the most effective. Learning to strengthen your willpower is less successful than learning to find ways to avoid needing to use it (and this has been shown to be true regardless of the temptation involved). Effective willpower is more about finding ways not to need it.




In the early days of alcohol treatment, the idea of total abstinence was considered just as strange and impractical as we now view total abstinence from refined sugar.

Some problem drinkers can and do return to social drinking, that doesn't make it the best way or the way for everyone - and doesn't mean that people who make different choices are less in control of their behavior. It would be like saying that alcoholic bartenders who don't drink are stronger and in more control than alcoholics who avoid drinking alcohol by other methods. It's hogwash, doing what you find easiest is more important than proving to anyone (including yourself) that you have control.

When you're living with other people, you may have to learn to live with problem foods (or substances for that matter), but when you're in charge of the food, throwing it out is a legitimate and effective way to control your behavior, and no one should be guilted or shamed from whatever techniques they find helpful.

my two cents on addiction- (i also come from a psychology background, i have a masters in social work, and have worked with people in various stages of addiction).

whatever you are addicted to, when you make that choice to recover, you do have start over from scratch. no matter what. you have to cognitively overhaul your way of thinking, modify your behavior, and learn to cope with daily temptations and struggles. because the urges will be there and you'll have to combat them on a regular. you'll have to cut some people out of your life, stop hanging out in certain places, find out who is really going to support you and who isn't, put yourself before your addiction. and it's a life long process. i've met alcoholics who have been in recovery for over 15 years, who still struggle not to buy a bottle of whiskey when life thows a curveball at them.

when it comes to food, it can be especially hard, because we can't entirely avoid food. you need to eat. yes, you don't have to eat cobbler, but you still have to eat, and you can't avoid every situation where there will be treats and such. if she feels as though throwing out the cobbler is going to help her at this point in time in reaching her goals, then so be it. maybe in time, she can deal with having some cobbler in the house. or maybe not, maybe it'll have to be having treats while out and about.

also, food addiction has awful consequences- not only to one's health, but it has financial consequences and emotional consequences. many times in the past, i have put myself in further debt or have blown money i should have spent on rent or other bills on food during a week long binge due to my compulsion and addiction. this kind of addiction causes one to feel shameful, often leading to isolation and one to go further down the spiral.

sorry for the long post. so, my verdict. throw it out, get rid of it somehow, if you need to.

I keep reading this thread title, in "recently updated" threads, and wondering if the shoemaker has let you out of his shop yet.

"You NEVER PAID ME after I replaced the little black thingies on the bottoms of your stiletto heels."

That is totally what I thought!

And I agree on pitching it. It's going to end up in the toilet anyway, why does it need to make a stop in your belly first?

:rofl:

@ seagirl and saef...too funny!

Thank goodness someone else thought the same thing. I made a comment earlier and since nobody said anything, thought you must all think I was insane!

:rofl::rofl::rofl: I'm going to need to remember that next time I'm tempted to eat something I shouldn't...:hug:

Thanks everyone for the input. As soon as I submitted this thread I realized I was having a weak moment and needed to be strong so I immediately went downstairs and threw it out and then went to the gym. The money was not worth the risk of keeping it around.

And to the poster that commented on my start date and weight loss progress, I'm sure your intentions weren't malicious but reading that was a bit of a gut punch. I didn't expect to feel judged on this website. Again I'm sure no harm was meant but that was just my initial reaction. I signed up on December 28th-ish and it has taken me a couple of weeks to get into the full swing of things, but I am fully committed now and that's why I posted this thread, for support. I knew what I needed to do: NOT eat the cobbler. I knew the best means to avoid that situation: Throw it away. However, I thought I needed some additional strength/support and thus posted about it here.

So again, thank you to everyone for the supportive advice and I think I will be taking down my stats for awhile.



Oh and thanks for the cobbler/shoemaker comments they provided a much needed laugh!

Well intended or not, this was completely inappropriate. You cannot judge a person's dedication or level of commitment or the odds of their ultimate success by the speed of their weight loss (well actually you could of course, but it doesn't mean you'd be correct).

I've lost far faster in every weight loss attempt than this current one, and yet this one is the one that's been successful in the long run. The others weren't. I've never lost so much weight, nor kept it off so long, nor gone so long without relapse/regains.

But if you were to gauge my progress by my speed, you'd guess that I "just don't get it."

I "get it" very well. My slow pace is partially by design (a small part), and partially by circumstance (no doubt I'd be losing faster if I had discovered my personal weight loss keys twenty years ago before I had insulin resistance/diabetes, thyroid, autoimmune, pain and mobility issues).



I've been "shamed" all my life by people telling me how I "should" be losing weight - what I should be eating, what I shouldn't be eating, what I should be able to eat occasionally, what I should be able to keep in the house without binging, how rapidly I should be losing, how long it should take...

It's all bullpoo, finding what works has absolutely nothing to do with "should." Many of us have wasted far too much effort on what "should" have worked, rather than finding what actually does.

I never gave low-carb eating much of a shot because I assumed it was unhealthy and unsustainable. The only plan that works and keeps hunger at bay was something I never tried, because I thought following the food pyramid "should" have worked. I tried it over and over and over again, thinking it eventially would work. If I had looked at what worked instead of what should have worked, I could have reached a healthy weight twenty years ago.