Anyone else keep their weight loss a secret?
 

I mean obviously people will begin to notice eventually but does anyone else not tell their family or friends that they are working out and trying to lose weight?

I know that I should tell my family and friends so that they can support me but I feel like if I tell them and slip up they will judge me (especially my mom). Also in the past when I have told people they were trying to be supportive but ended up making me feel worse because it felt like they were bashing how I look now.

Honestly? That's a great idea! I mean it let's you prove them wrong! With put them knowing it:p

My mother and one friend knows that is it. I have told my co workers in the past but this time I am not. I don't need them always looking at what I bring to lunch and make comments. Plus when not if but when I look like I have lost weight I want to know the comments are for real not since they know I am trying they instantly think they need to say it.

I haven't told anyone that I'm trying to lose weight. Frankly, I find it embarrassing to talk about, even though I've looked this way for quite some time. My parents tried to compliment me on my progress and it was incredibly awkward.

I don't make my exercise habits a secret, and the people I eat with at work know that I eat ridiculously healthfully. I don't want people to know just how much of an obsession it is, though!

A few of my friends know I'm working out more, but I don't think I've told anyone about my diet changes. I feel like every time I start informing people that I'm eating differently, I end up having jumped the gun. Maybe when I've lost five or ten pounds, I'll start being upfront :P Growing up, we never really talked about weight issues, since both my parents have them on opposite extremes (too skinny father, too fat mother). It's hard for me to wrap my head around weight loss as a topic of polite conversation.

I don't really care who knows I'm dieting; it's exercise that I've been reluctant to talk about. A few days ago I came across a set of resistance bands I purchased a year or so back and then promptly forgot about. I put the DVD in my drive and tried to follow the routine, and felt like such an idiot jumping around... I wasn't any good at that sort of thing when I was forced to do it in high school, and I'm still not.

i told my family, hard to hide this from them. My close circle of friends too since we spend lots of time together, difficult during a supper at one's house, no to the wine, no to her risotto with one pound of butter, no to the fried entrées, no to desert, no to digestif, they told me I was no fun and kept insisting, had to tell so they would leave me alone.

I do not care if people are taking bets about my future failure but at least now they know that insisting to get me out of this will not work and what choices I make is none of their business even if I care a lot about them.

I glad to know I am not the only one not telling people. I was almost feeling guilty because when my boyfriend ask me about my day I just leave out the part where I went to the gym and exercised I almost feel like I am lying.

I am selective, I tell people who I feel will genuinely support me and not sabotage my efforts, been there, done that. I don't however hide my food or my exercise. I won't go out of my way to talk about it, but if someone asks me what i'm up to and i'm at the gym i'll tell them. They don't have to know that I am on a diet, because to them the word "diet" implies something different than what I am trying to achieve. Ya know?:)

I still haven't outright told anyone I'm trying to lose weight, other than if they go, "Wow, you look great! Wait, you're trying to lose weight, right?" or something equally awkward. Lol!

But I said nothing until I was literally cornered and commanded to share how much weight I'd lost (I lied). Then it was just as people noticed.

For me, I was more motivated when people didn't know. I have no idea why, but it worked wonders for me.

From your ticker it looks like you have done a great job! The part about people forcing you to divulge your numbers? So. Not. Cool.

I definitely don't advertise...it's part of the reason I find the support here so indispensable. I don't lie about going to the gym or hide my food choices, but I don't ever volunteer the information or feel the need to explain. If people actually notice and comment on either, I might say things like "just trying to eat more veggies," or some other benign and boring response and move on. Personally, too many of the people I'm around talk about their diets or food choices, working out, resolutions, etc all the time...I figure, if I don't want to hear it from them, why volunteer the information myself? Plus, it's just a really private thing for me, and I'd rather avoid giving them an opening to spew their opinions.

I am not hiding it, I actually like to tell people I know b/c I feel it holds me accountable to see it through. I do have a friend who has talked about doing P90X but never discussed her weight up until recently. Of course, she didn't talk actual numbers, just vague statements like she's lost a couple of dress sizes and such. And I don't blame her, I don't like to talk actual numbers either. I will say how much I've lost but not my weight except on
3FC. Well, someone has apparently cornered her to divulge before and after pics, and she's not even finished yet!!! I dunno, maybe I am just sensitive and trying to put myself in her shoes, but that just bothers me. It's none of their d&*# concern what she looked like before, just that she's doing something about it. In fact, come to think of it her pics are posted AAAAALLL over her profile page, WAY old pics. The question of pics did not come across as 'hey, give us some motivation' or anything like that like you would see HERE, it was more like hey, exploit fat people and publicly shame yourself, possibly in some type of clothing that reveals skin. Like I said, it just bothered me and I would never ask a friend to do that.

I have just reached goal.

I keep it a secret unless people make a comment about how I can eat chips/cake whatever because "I'm so slim already" ~ erm thanks. That's how I got into that mess in the first place! Otherwise, I keep my mouth shut.

Yes, I definitely started out the same way. I'm down about 30 now, although only one person (boyfriend of sorts) has noticed on his own. But him noticing and commenting made it easier for me to tell some of my other friends as well. I haven't said anything to two of my closest friends here yet, but even if they haven't noticed the physical changes so far I think they'll realize when we go on a road trip next week and I have to abstain from some of the delicious foods we will eat. Well. Only some. ;)

Working out was equally difficult or more so for me to admit. I will tell people I'm at the gym if they ask, but since I've had chronic knee injuries the last couple years, a lot of times I'll say or imply that I'm there to do physical therapy. Well, that's also true. But not the whole story. :)

I think as more weight comes off and I am feeling more comfortable about my progress and my habits, it will be easier to tell people. But for most, yeah. I'm still going to not say anything unless they do. I've got everyone on here to come squee to if I have an awesome NSV or am getting so so so so close to below 200 I am getting super antsy. As others have said, that's why this site is so cool. :)

I didn't say much till people started noticing. Even then, I tell them I've been working at being healthier, not losing weight. And that has been my primary goal (with weightloss as a benefit of being healthier.)

I've also been more open about talking about the weight I have lost cuz I'm really close to my goal and LOVE my eating plan. It has made weight loss so painless.

I wish I had shut up about it because now the world thinks I am going to be "the Asian Karen Carpenter" as one person so kindly put it.

I keep it a secret too that is why I love this website. I don't like to brag and I find it hard to relate to people who are not in the same situation. Also I like it to be a surprise if I succeed and if I fail noone will know

I don't keep it a "secret" because, for me, it sounds like something I should be ashamed of. I suppose I'm private about my weight loss and discrete. If people ask, I'll talk about it and I don't mind telling people I'm on WW. But i don't feel the need to advertise

I just wanted to add one more thing now that I read the post by Krampus...as you get very close to goal, you do have to kind of keep your guard up about it because SOOOOOOO many people have an opinion that you are 'fine the way you are', 'you don't need to lose ANY more weight' :nono: and yadda yadda yadda. That's nice that they think so, but *****I***** see myself without clothes on :eek:

So it's kind of weird how you keep it to yourself in the VERY beginning for fear of shame and then realize the same issue at the last 10-15 lbs!!!!

It's SO TRUE. I had someone I hardly know LECTURE me about how I should be happy at my size and how I am not fat and how hips and thighs are designed for childbearing. All completely unsolicited, and while my ego feels like a rock star, it really bothers me how everyone feels the need to chime in. I've taken to pretending I am a maintainer in public spaces, and overcompensating by always making a point to eat huge meals when I'm around other people (luckily for me most of my meals during the week are eaten alone...).

There is a huge difference between having severe body dysmorphia and starving yourself (like Karen Carpenter) and wanting to diet and exercise yourself healthily down to a weight that is perfectly healthy for your height and frame. Why don't people understand that?!

My parents and sister inlaw know I'm trying to lose weight and are very supportive. I tell my husband (who is out of state for the army) that I work out but never really discuss what I eat and how motivated I am. I don't discuss it with my inlaws on his side at all because they have sabotaged me in the past and would tell me I don't need to lose anymore. I'm sure they are realizing I'm losing weight. They never comment how I look while my parents do, and I don't see them as much as my parents. I also always refuse their crappy food and desserts so I think they know. They just aren't commenting yet.

Out of curiousity krampus, is it Japanese girls who tell you that? I can't imagine Japanese girls, in general, saying that about a 5'5 125lb girl! Do you teach ESL? I do too... in Canada, not Japan. It's probably your American/Canadian coworkers, right?

You guys know! :)

My husband knows my desire to shed pounds, and he is bending over backwards to help me.

One of my girlfriend's commented today that I looked thinner, and I told her I am trying to eat better. -- Unfortunately I am a blabber mouth, and I groan and moan about my hard walks on my facebook page, so some of my friends are making the connection.

But over all, I am staying pretty quiet. -- By the time summer comes, and I shed all winter gear...people will see I have shed some winter weight as well!

Yeah, I'm already getting that. I passed on a party tonight and one of my friends says I look fine and that I just have "fat kid syndrome" from when I was a kid. What you said is exactly what I said!

I don't understand though, because I'm not skinny, at all. *shrug*

And as for the topic in question, I never hid my weightloss but I didn't openly tell everyone about it. My boyfriend's mom frequently talks **** about the food I eat (low fat stuff), saying that it's loaded with "fillers" and "chemicals" and whatever, and about how good adding a stick of butter to a box of mac n cheese is, and how good her sugary buttery homemade blueberry syrup is, and that's why I chose not to say anything. At least it took a while for people to catch on and start with those comments.

Krampus, I've been your goal size (before my 3 kids) and I think, while at the lower end, it's still within normal range. I felt normal at 115 and no one ever walked up to me and deemed me to be anorexic. Now if I went down to 115 now, it might look awkward considering childbirth does change your body and due to my age. I take it by your picture and location you are Japanese so I am sure you have a very petite frame which could carry 115 quite nicely. As long as you feel healthy and it is within normal range, it's YOUR business.

krampus:This. I never volunteered anyone outside of 3FC that I was trying to lose weight, unless they noticed my weight loss and asked specifically. Especially now, I don't really say anything to anyone, and I eat extra when I go over to other people's houses because I don't want to catch grief from people. I can adjust my eating habits later or burn it off on the bike, no big deal.

I secretly started to lose weight a million times because I didn't want anyone to comment on it. I was thin before and I've always felt I needed to go back to my "normal" weight again.

But hiding it and not telling anyway really stopped me from having accountability. So, this time around, I started telling everyone. My goal was also to get them to stop offering me junk and to have them support me.

So far, it's worked. I feel accountable to a whole bunch of people and it helps me stay within my plan. It's also helped me learn to say no to them when they offer food or drink, because otherwise, I wouldn't want to answer, "Oh, no, thanks, I'm still on a diet."

Now, the whole "I'm on a diet" is a great reason to turn down food and not have anyone offer it again (at least in my world!!!!).

There's no reason why you should HAVE to tell people you're trying to lose weight, unless they get concerned you're starving yourself when you're losing weight, etc). I don't see anything wrong with keeping it personal especially since they haven't been supportive in the past.

I live across the country from my entire family and all of my old (and best) friends, and I am keeping this a secret... I lost 22 pounds since most of them have seen me, I'm looking to drop another 40 by the summer, which is when I'm going to go visit again.
I'm not telling anybody. Imagining everyone's reaction is big enough a motivation to keep me going on hard days.

I don't really like to tell people. My co-worker was out on maternity leave a few summers ago when I was actively losing a lot of weight and she came back she took one look at me and said, "Whoa, someone got skinny while I was gone!" I find that kind of attention to be embarrassing.

None of my co-workers know about my weight loss efforts or how much I run (which is a lot to people who are not runners.) My girlfriend who lives with me is really the only one who knows that I am trying to lose weight again.

I do for the most part, though I'm not sure why. I do tell my coworkers, but that's because we are mostly females trying lose weight, so we support each other. My husband knows because its too hard to hide it from someone I've living with. And if I turn down a sweet treat, I have no problem saying I need to lose weight. But if the subject doesnt come up, I do not volunteer it.

I hate to admitit, but I think its because deep down I think I will either fail, or I will ose it but fail to keep it off as I did in the past, and people will think that if I tell them what I'm up too.

When I first starting losign weight this time, I didn't relaly tell anyone but my husband. I figured I would rather show them I was losing weight rather than tell them. I wasn't afraid of failing, I just knew that I had talked about it for so long I would rather just do it.

I'm pretty open about my numbers- as far as what I weight, how much I've lost. I probably wouldn't even be all that phased by a stranger asking- at this point I figure I'm not that weight anymore, and I won't be this weight for long, so who cares. I'll also answer any questions honestly about how I've lost weight, my eating plan, routine, etc. I don't advertise any of these things, but I'm not ashamed of them either.

The one thing I am fairly secretive about is my goal weight. Most people freak out when I tell them, and I get lectured on how that is just too skinny for my height, etc. It's frustrating and obnoxious. It is not only a healthy weight for my height- but a weight that I was at very easily for quite awhile. So, a few close friends know. My husband kind of knows, though he is worried, despite the fact I was that weight when we met. (For his sake- I have agreed that if I get to 135 and still feel the need to lose weight, I will go to counseling) I have not told my mother. Sadly, even though I know I will reach my goal, I will probably never tell anyone my actual weight when I get there.

I am totally open about my weight loss efforts. I'll tell people what I weigh, what I used to weigh, what I want to weigh. Sometimes people will say I'm not big enough to need to lose 20 more pounds, I just ignore them. People want to know how I did it, how much I eat, how much I exercise. It's amazing how I swear anyone and everyone I know (even very casually) asks me about it. I don't know if it's because I'm so open but I don't care and I tell them. It's no secret I was overweight, it's obvious I've lost a lot. Plus, like a lot of other posters have said it keeps you motivated.

My only exception is people who are obviously jealous and believe/hope I will put the weight back on. I've really only had one person that made me feel that way so I avoid conversations with her about weight as much as possible.

I have tried it both ways, my first attempt I didn't tell anyone i was trying to lose weight but for me that just turned into a big excuse for me. Meaning when I failed it really didn't matter cuz no one knew but me.

This time around I am telling everyone!! The only people who are really saboutouers are my family members. Everyone else has been super supportive and ask me every week how I am doing, and the one person who i thought would make fun of me and make rude comments has actually been awesome. He will tell me when he notices a change in my shape and tell me i look great and says he is proud of me. I work in a restaurant and all the cooks will make my food for me without all the added salt and butter etc.

I share my plans and what I do for exercise. I can tell when people are really interested or are just being nosy but I don't let them bother me. I figure it is from jealousy that I am succeeding.

I'm fine talking about it with my family and my husband, but work is a different story.

I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself, so I try to stay away from coming forth with too much at work. I feel like if I tell people at work that I am actively trying to lose weight, then they will eagle-eye everything I am eating. This happened before when a group of us did the Biggest Loser -- our "leader" would walk around like, "what are you eating today? do you know how many calories are in that? etc..." I was really hesitant to rejoin it this year, but I did, and this time with a different group of girls and they asked me to be the leader. I told them I am doing this for myself and I don't care what they eat or how often they exercise -- I'm just there to be support if they need it.

I haven't told anyone. My friends -- mostly other Ultimate Frisbee players -- are generally very physically fit. A couple of the girls are dealing with (underweight) eating disorders, and that makes it even harder to talk about weight loss with them. I do have a goal to run a certain number of miles this year, and I'm not at all secret about that and talk about it frequently.

This is my first ever serious effort to lose weight (and it's way, WAY overdue), and the thought of talking about it to anyone other than my husband makes me nauseous. Or maybe the nausea is just hunger...

Really, I just don't feel comfortable talking about it with anyone because I'm afraid I'm going to fail. It's the same reason I only told a few people I'd applied for a PhD program before I knew I'd been accepted... the same reason I haven't told anyone (even my husband, yet) the date of my qualifying exam... I'm ALWAYS afraid of failure, and the embarrassment and shame would make that failure even more devastating. Though I appreciate the words of support from my friends and family when they tell me I can accomplish something, the words don't make me feel any more confident. Most of the time, actually, those words make me feel worse - I feel like my loved ones have more faith and confidence in me, think more highly of me, than I deserve. *I* don't believe I can do it until I've done it. Trying to lose weight arouses that same anxiety.

I've told people who will be responsible for my food choices or who will likely be supportive, but I have avoided the topic with people who are likely to sabotage or comment unkindly. Many people I know would get really into it, constantly ask about it, put down any weeks I don't lose, decide to join in and then crow about their own 4lb loss when I have gained, criticise and analyze my food choices, tell me I "shouldn't be eating" this and that... just don't want to get into it.

Not sure what to do next time I visit my parents, it will be more than obvious I lost weight and they will immediately comment. All my life it's been the importnat thing, you were never doing well or badly, never looking good or bad, you only ever looked slim or "like a gasometer" and they comment to me about my sister's weight every time I visit. But they will still want me to eat like there's no tomorrow because they show love with food, and if I won't eat then my daughter will be given even more chocolate (if that's possible!!) becuase it "has to be eaten" (i.e. she's scared if she keeps it she'll eat it all herself, but she couldn't keep from buying it all because she has an out of proportion concept of how much chocolate you need to give a small child a "treat" - 20g is more than sufficient!)

Other people I suppose I just try to sidetrack them. It's been useful that I have lots of outsize clothes, I hardly ever see anyone and when I do see them I am wearing the same giant outfits as ever. They can probably sort of see I lost some, but they aren't confident enough to say anything. Come summer it's going to look like I stepped out of some kind of coccoon when I appear out from my thermal vest, top, sweatshirt, jacket, hat combo.

Then again with this surgery coming up I think I'll be cross if people credit 100% of the improvement to the surgery, like I didn't do any of the effort. Couldn't have had the surgery without losing the weight I lost so far, the surgery is just going to sort out some lumps and bumps so my skin hangs normally, but I bet people will think I "cheated" and just had my belly cut off! Like that works.

I think at first I didn't want to tell anyone and I still haven't really told anyone in my family because honestly I'm just not that close to them. But I've told a few people that I know will support me, and help me reach my goal but not bash or belittle me if I stumble along the way.