Bobjack -- I sympathize with your situation. It's tough to have family members in this situation -- I have it too!

I hope you've received some helpful feedback here. I think there's a lot of agreement that it can be nigh impossible to make people lose weight until they're ready. Modelling healthy behaviors, and having open honest conversations can be more useful.

I believe the question has been answered, and it seems like the thread has started to move in less helpful directions, so I'm going to go ahead and close it. But please feel free to continue the discussion of how to be supportive in another thread should you choose.