I need some serious help, advice, motivation...I dunno, you name it. I have a million and one reasons to lose weight - I am at the do-or-die point in my life...yet I just shoved 3 doughnuts and a big glass of milk down my throat before I could even remember that I was suppossed to be "changing my lifestyle." It's pretty bad when you've done something for so long that you can't even remember you're on a diet. Jeeezzz...it's so frustrating. And it's not like I'm old, with alzheimers, either, but sometimes I feel that way.
I suffer from PCOS, and if I don't lose weight, I might never have any more children. Which means that my son will grow up an only child because I can't stop eating. He tells me all the time that he wants to be a big brother and that he is lonely. So I cry and eat. Lovely.
And then there is the neuropathy forming in my feet. They burn and feel like they are on fire. Completely reversible at this point says the Dr. If only I would lose weight.
I don't want to have sex with my husband anymore because I am so uncomfortable and disgusted with my body and it's limitations. So, I drive to Kroger's and make love to a gallon of ice cream.
My 10 year high school reunion is coming up in July. I'd always imagined that I would show up skinny and hot, make everyone say, "Who is THAT?"...but yeah right, I weigh 100lbs more than I did then...you think I could loose it in 6 months? I guess it's possible...low-carb style.
My knees hurts, my back is killing me, I can't do 90% of the things I want to do. And yet, I can't seem to get it going. What the heck is my problem!?!?!
In my experience, the first step to losing weight is to be so completely fed up with your life at your current weight that no diet is more painful than staying the way you are. Then, it's comparably easy to succeed, because there is no alternative.
My heart goes out to you, you can do this one pound at a time.
Last edited by Arctic Mama; 01-20-2011 at 12:46 AM.
kimmirue - i sometimes forget too. i've placed signs and pictures on the fridge and cabinet to remind myself. not in a self-hating way at all - just so that i do not forget myself and eat what my body doesn't need.
i also do my best to spend a few minutes here daily. i don't post that much really; but reading others' posts helps me to make good choices.
I've done that also. The eating before I realize I am eating. when I am upset. It is something that happens to those of us that comfort eat! I've realized it mid bite and the been, "Well I am already eating it."
Welcome to the board,this place is great for support and emcouragement. We are here for you. good luck and you can do this.
I know exactly what you mean, I also tend to eat something bad while on a diet and then realize when I finished it, what I just did and freak out..
It took me some time to get used to being on a diet! You'll eventually get there, all you have to do is keep reminding yourself why it's so important for you to lose weight. If you need support, this is the place to be, it helps me a lot!
You can do it, I know you can
Maybe you need to accept that you cannot do it on your own? That is also okay. I found that I don't really exercise on my own, and so my boyfriend keeps me going with his love for jogging.
Here is a good place to start. We like to talk about eating in a way that is not miserable (even enjoyable), but where you can still lose weight.
Do you have any sort of plan? A meal/exercise plan? You could also start by focusing on eating one meal perfectly a day and walking 30 minutes... for example - and work up to addressing your problems with junk food and binging.
Stick around - we all feel your pain and we want to help!
I've been trying to lose weight since I was 5 years old, and "dieting" always seemed to only end up with my gaining weight.
I have tons of health problems caused or exacerbated by my weight, and the harder I tried to lose, the more I seemed to gain and the worse my health issues became. I don't have PCOS, but do have insulin resistance, and my doctor recommended low-carb (I thought he was nuts until I got a second opinion agreeing).
I never gave low-carb dieting a serious attempt in the past, because I thought it was unhealthy (doctors always told me so too).
I've come to realize that sugar and other highly concentrated carb-rich foods are more like narcotics than food to me. I lose all control around these foods, and if they're available I will eat them until they're gone, or until I'm sick, or in "food coma," so drowsy from overeating that I fall asleep.
Lower-carb eating really has been a lifesaver. Not only the only way I can lose weight in the long-term, it's also the only food plan that tames my hunger. I'm not as hungry on 1500 calories of low-carb as I am on 3000 calories of high-carb. The more carbs I eat, the hungrier I get.
Also, low-carb eating (along with 200mg of fish oil a day) has drastically improved my joint pain and a lot of other health issues, including autoimmune disease and skin issues. Skin problems I'd had all my life disappeared. Now my skin looks better than ever (unless I slip with my diet).
I don't know if you'ld find low-carb as helpful as I have, but for me it's literally a lifesaver.
I still make a lot of mistakes, which is why I'm losing so slow, but I don't beat myself over it - in the past that led to giving up. That's the only unbreakable rule I have for myself, no giving up. I remind myself that dieting is like mountain climbing - if I slip or backslide, throwing myself the bottom so I can "start fresh tomorrow" would be idiotic. I have to remember that it's just as idiotic in dieting. There is no "starting fresh," every choice, every pound (every ounce) matters.
Oh kimmirue, I feel you, baby! I know exactly how you feel (except the part about having more kids -- one is more than enough for me! ).
A lot of what Kaplods said is true for me, too. Empty carbs make me climb the walls for MORE. I don't eat low carb, but I do eat lowER carb, and every carb I eat always gets accompanied by a protein and is usually a whole grain. Here's the thing. If you are anything like Kaplods and me, you might need a "detox" period. For the first couple weeks or so of starting my eating change, I hankered/craved stuff like crazy and almost had to tie myself to a chair to stay out of the kitchen. BUT, after that detox, I found it to be not so tough, and now, almost easy (?). Nowadays, I do have the occasional splurge, but it is with the knowledge that I will likely have a good 3 days of cravings to get through as payment. That knowledge has 1) cut down on what I'm really willing to splurge for 2) taken away the panic that I'm going to be starving miserable for the rest of my life if I stay on a "diet".
I wouldn't be too hung up on how much you're going to weigh at your reunion. You'll get 'em at the 15 year one. Right now I think it's super important to focus on the BEHAVIORS that will lead to weight loss, not the number of pounds.
Best wishes, kimmi, it's really a scary, frustrating, and demoralizing feeling to think you've dug yourself into such a hole. But it CAN be done!! Keep reading here and you'll see that, time and again!
He said I should put $15 aside for each pound I lose. -- Considering how much ice cream, doughnuts and all junk cost; that $15 is not a difficult to come up with once all the "extra" groceries have been cut out of the budget.
He said, once I receive my goal, I would have a tidy sum just to spend on myself!
You are me. I SKIPPED my high school reunion because, even though I was fat in highschool, I looked like I ate that fat girl for breakfast.
Everything hurt. When I first started "working out" my feet ached and ached after a quarter mile I had to sit and take my shoes off and walk home barefoot. Not that it helped any. I would do 7 minutes of VERY modified cardio and was afraid I was going to die because of how hard it was to breathe.
I started tracking my calories and was AMAZED at how much I ate in a day. I really didnt think I was the same as "those people on the fat shows". But I was. I still am. I fight myself everyday not to sit and eat and eat and sit.
Coming here is a big first step. Im around for support, anytime.
There is so much self loathing in your post! You could benefit from being much gentler with yourself. Maybe a good counsellor could help you with some of the emotional stuff while you get your eating and exercise on track? The boards are great, but sometimes we need more.
I agree with the previous poster. It sounds like there's a lot of emotional eating/compulsive overeating going on. Are you also in denial? Look into counseling -- and take it one step at a time to address this larger stuff.
Then do bitty stuff NOW that you can tackle. For instance, why not clear the cupboards? That can be done NOW. I also have PCOS, and TOM comes with crazy cravings... I want to eat all kinds of crap sometimes and if it isn't here, I can't. It's easier to resist at the store once and not buy it than resist a millions times at home.
Again -- some of this stuff you can fix NOW -- if your kid is lonely, make an effort to set up some play dates. He doesn't need to wait for a sibling and you may not even want another child!
Another NOW? Lovemaking with your spouse. Explain to him how you are feeling, that you need it gentle and loving because your emotions are tender right now, turn the lights out, and just go for it. I'm sure he loves you any which way you are -- and why deny yourselves pleasure? And the rosy, cuddly post-bliss boost?
There's a concept about Stages of Change. It sounds like you are in the Contemplation stage:
Quote:
In the contemplation stage people are more aware of the personal consequences of their bad habit and they spend time thinking about their problem. Although they are able to consider the possibility of changing, they tend to be ambivalent about it.
In this stage, people are on a teeter-totter, weighing the pros and cons of quitting or modifying their behavior. Although they think about the negative aspects of their bad habit and the positives associated with giving it up (or reducing), they may doubt that the long-term benefits associated with quitting will outweigh the short-term costs.
It might take as little as a couple weeks or as long as a lifetime to get through the contemplation stage. (In fact, some people think and think and think about giving up their bad habit and may die never having gotten beyond this stage)
On the plus side, people are more open to receiving information about their bad habit, and more likely to actually use educational interventions and reflect on their own feelings and thoughts concerning their bad habit.
It's an interesting thing to read about and helped me when I knew I was overweight but I wasn't doing anything to change it. I realized I was still in contemplation stage. I was calorie counting, but being way too fuzzy with it and only doing it some days. At some point, something clicked. I moved into the Action Stage, joined Weight Watchers and haven't looked back since.
Oh so much wisdom from the members of 3fc. The hardest part for me, and most successful, has been better planning. So you already know what you are having for breakfast, and don't reach for the donuts. Hey what are they doing in the house anyhow?
Well, you are going to have to ban a lot of the junk from the house.
I hope you can get some help to get started, and we will be there for you!
I agree with Arctic Mommy, that in that at least for me, it took finally getting to that point where I was so disgusted, and so discontent with my weight and not being fit that I said enough is enough and made that change. A few times over the past couple of years I would say "I'm going to lose weight", but my motivation and dedication was just not there, nor did I incorporate exercise into my plan. For me it was even more difficult as my husband actually LIKES my size and I would think to myself - "well, he loves me this way..." But, as I told him, losing weight and getting fit is something I am doing for ME.
I think you need to just begin with baby steps, very slowly, and build up. Maybe cutting back or cutting out one thing (like the donuts) in your diet. I found that making one small change has motivated me to make another small change and so on and so forth. While it may seem an overwhelming task up front, if you just go day by day, starting slowly and NOT looking ahead too far, it may be easier for you.
Also, as another poster stated, it does sound like there is some major emotional eating going on and I would suggest maybe seeking a counselor to assist you in dealing with those issues. You CAN do this!! You just need to find the right support and take it day by day - but you CAN do it!
What the heck is my problem!?!?!
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