Does anyone else have trouble accepting the accomplishments they've already made?
I mean, all things considered - I've lost a lot of weight. Especially if you consider people of more "normal" starting weights. Celebrities end up on the cover of magazines about "How I lost 20lbs!!!" ... Clearly, my weight loss efforts are something I should be proud of. It's certainly not an easy thing to have done. But I am so focused on how much I still HAVEN'T done... i'm not even half-way there! I'm still fat. I still barely squeeze into a size 14.
Does anyone else have this problem? How do you learn to celebrate what you already have done without losing momentum to keep going or focusing on how much more you still have left? I had over 100lbs to lose.... I still have 60 some-pounds to go! Sigh...
I have days when I think I have accomplished nothing. Those are the days I go back and compare myself to old pictures. The days I can't for whatever reason see a massive difference and all I notice is the fat are the days I work out harder. Thankfully there are more than an equal number of days when I feel happy and excited. Just try not to let the bad days bog you down. Even the "hottest" people in the world feel like they still need to work on something or like they are not where they want to be sometimes. The big celebration will come when you reach goal.
I have days like that all too often. I know I've lost nearly 50 lbs, but I also have at least 40-ish more to go. I still feel short and fat and I'm not likely to get any taller ;-) And I am still wearing size 18. I feel like I will never get to 16 or 14 let alone 12 or 10.
It helps me sometimes to put on a shirt that was snug before I started trying to lose weight. I have 3 or 4 of them that are favorites, all long sleeve t-shirts. OMG...those things hang on me now. So I know that realistically even if I *AM* still short and fat, I'm not as fat as I used to be because my shirts say so. I didn't keep any of my fattest pants...they were one of the first things to go, but I can't seem to toss out the loose comfy shirts.
It's hard to focus on what I've done, but if I focus on what is left to do, I think I would get too discouraged and think I could never make it. So for the most part, I try not to focus on where I was or where I'm going, but where I am. I know what works...eat less, eat well, no junk. Move more, as much as possible as many days as I can. If I cna focus on the process, then I am headed the right direction regardless of my self-perception. And eventually I will get to goal as long as I keep down the right path most of the time for as long as it takes.
I had terrible problems with this around size 16. It's like when I was first losing weight, I was only comparing myself to myself and other morbidly obese people, and after the first 60-70 lbs I was so proud of myself because I was now small-for-a-fat-person. But after another 10 lbs or so, I started to compare myself to normal people--something I hadn't even considered before, they were like another species--and suddenly I was fat again. It was terrible. All that work, and I was still fat. In my head, the compliments that I had before loved to hear started to sound condescending, like "you look wonderful . . .for a fat person". Before I had never dared dream of being compared to normal people, so I didn't feel the sting, but around size 16 I started to be able to imagine it, and that made me very discontented about where I was.
Saef described this very well in several posts.
I could give you a lot of trite words of wisdom, but in the end the only way out is through. Once I got down to a size 12 or so, I started to feel like a normal normal person (in TX, at least), and that helped a lot.
My weight loss has slowed to a crawl for some time now. I'm bouncing up and down and can't really pinpoint why (this week I'm cutting out my daily Crystal Light, maybe it's the aspartame that's stalling me). Getting on the scale and seeing 0 pounds lost or even a 1 pound gain, even if it's water weight, is discouraging. I feel like someone at my weight should be losing a lot more rapidly than I am.
However, I keep trucking on. I know maintaining is better than gaining so right now all I can do is keep tweaking to see what works. I think I look exactly the same as I did before I started, but my mom insists I'm "half the size" and even my grandpa noticed that I've lost a lot of weight when I saw him on Christmas. That surprised me a lot and made me realize that I must look a lot different.
I had days like that often in the beginning. What helped most was coming here and reading about all the things many of us could not do at our high weights. We're talking basic human things here that never-been-fat people have no clue about. I could relate to so many of them. It didn't take long to reverse all of those things and I marveled at it and better, I allowed myself to marvel at it. I took and take such immense joy out of the most mundane of daily tasks. I love that my seat belt no longer rests across my neck. I love that I can get out of my car in tight spaces and that I can slip between the trash can and the car in the garage. I love that running upstairs for something is not a monumental task, or even a task at all. I am crossing my legs effortlessly as I type.
These are the things that have kept me going and realizing that I have accomplished something big. I also focused on my numbers including my BP, blood sugar and waist size.
It's very hard to keep going when you get close to your goal. I'm about 10 lbs from my goal weight at the moment. Everything is "normal" - BMI, blood pressure, regular exercise etc. which makes me feel complacent, but I know that deep down I will be disappointed in myself if I quit before I hit the finish line. I look okay, but I can do better. The tough part is balancing celebration ("hooray! I lost 30 lbs and dropped 3 dress sizes!") with drive to keep going and pushing.
Clearly, my weight loss efforts are something I should be proud of. It's certainly not an easy thing to have done. But I am so focused on how much I still HAVEN'T done... i'm not even half-way there! I'm still fat. I still barely squeeze into a size 14.
Does anyone else have this problem?
I'm right there with you! I've lost over 50lbs, but lately I feel like it's nothing, because I still have so far to go. But, we will get there! One day, we'll reach our final goal and look back at our journey and say "Hey, remember when...?".
Take a step back and for a minute, forget numbers and clothes and comparing yourself to other people. Instead, look at how you feel. How much easier is it for you to move around now? Do you find you're less winded doing simple things like going up stairs or taking walks? How much less exhausted do you feel now that you're treating your body right? You may not yet look like how you want to look, but your body has, I'm sure, already showed major signs of improved health.
The tough part is balancing celebration ("hooray! I lost 30 lbs and dropped 3 dress sizes!") with drive to keep going and pushing.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Sometimes I get wrapped up in being excited about how much I've lost and it leads me to stalls or gains. Sad to say, but I have to continually think that the next 5 pounds will make a big difference in my health and mobility. Once I reach my goal I'm sure I'll know that I've gotten there, then the real celebration will come... SHOPPING!!
I have problems with this too. Despite losing over 60lbs, all I can focus on is how much i've got left to lose. I'm over halfway to my goal and there was a time when I never thought I'd get that far. A year ago I would have been so happy to weigh what I do now. But now I just feel frustrated with myself for getting as big as I did. I need to move on from my glass half empty mentality.
As a person who started at 295 and has come to 215 and still losing I can say this. The more you focus on what's left the harder and more disappointed you become. Focus on what you're doing and where you are going. Where you want to be is where you will one day be.
You can accept your accomplishments so far, because they are real. You know they are real because you feel them every time you get out of bed in the morning and feel better not only with how it is getting easier to move, but with how you should be feeling.
Don't let a big number get you down, when if you are making the right changes, will become smaller and smaller. You are making the right changes now, so smaller they will be.
Does anyone else have trouble accepting the accomplishments they've already made?
