Does anyone have "helpful" friends and family who know nothing at all about dieting but chip in around the clock at every given opportunity anyway? I am probably more sensitive to this sort of thing, being in a wheelchair attracts a lot of folk who "help" you in ways that cause genuine bodily injury, so maybe I'm just overreacting.

I have family members whose idea of "diet" is what you can and cannot have, that you can have unlimited amouts of "what is good for you" and not a flake, speck or crumb of what is "bad for you". One minute it's have another potato, have more potatoes, potatoes are good for you, potatoes don't make you fat, potatoes are natural they grow in the ground, never shutting up about how few potatotes you eat, sneaking another on your plate while you look away in order to get the potatoes "used up" (here's a clue: Don't make so many potatoes!!!)

So then you get out your carefully budgetted-for on-plan tiny chocolate bar that you've been waiting to treat yourself to and it's "You can't have chocolate on a diet/are you sure you can eat that/you could have had more potatoes instead/that's bad for you/you'll undo all your good work"

The first 100,000 times or so you can grin, change the subject, etc. The next coupla thousand you have little Homer Simpson-style musings in thought bubbles where you drag said person along the street behind you on a motorcycle.

And yes, sadly it is everyone else's "business" if they have to cook and prepare food for me when I am not well enough, I can't just make my own food and tell them to go away.

Oh, and there's no point describing it in alternative ways like eating plan, healthy eating, way of eating, etc. because then they just don't see it as relevant to comply, then it becomes "fussing" and is unimportant and they can just throw butter over it all.

Yes, my boyfriend is still stuck in the 80s and hates to see me eat anything that has fat in it. He thinks I'm off plan if I'm not eat "fat-free" everything.

It doesn't matter how often I've explained to him that I'm counting calories and protein/carbs, for him, it's about the fat-free this or that.

I know he means well, but he hasn't studied the health/diet thing in decades (obviously) and he isn't trying to lose weight himself, so yeah, I've learned to just ignore him when he makes these comments.

But, you sound like you are in a much more terrible situation, if you have people actively trying to sabotage you not only by trying to give you advice, but also sneaking food onto your plate.

Is there some way to avoid them? Not invite them to your house? Put an alarm on your plate?

Urgh! That would certainly bug me. I've had this only occasionally. Yesterday I was told I was being "good" for not eating the chocolate in the middle of the table at a meeting. In truth I just didn't feel like eating any, which is rare for me, I admit! But I don't deny myself a bit of chocolate and prefer not to think I'm being "bad" when I do indulge. I eat what I eat. I've lost 80 pounds folks! I think I'm "good"!

Ugh. I haven't had this issue related to weight loss, but I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 24 years ago. Ever since, everybody thinks it gives them the right to comment on whether or not I "should" or "can" eat something. Of course, those who comment are completely uneducated in regards to diabetes and have no idea what they're talking about.

Unless asked for advice, people should just MYOB.

Yep. I understand. DH & I were watching something on TV & they mentioned eggs. He piped up about how they dont tell you how fatening they are for you. I had to remind him that I have been eating alot of eggs (for protein)in this last yr & loosing weight. Then he makes a comment about cholesterol, I had to also remind him that mine had gone to normal in this last yr as well that he needs to do his research.

Yes, it certainly is amazing how many authorities come out of the wood work when you are trying to lose weight.

You really do need to acquire the patience of a saint while trying to lose weight. Almost daily I have to squash the urge not to go off on someone who is offering up their weight loss tips and tricks.

I am not the kind of person who will interfere in the way anyone else conducts themselves, regardless of the situation, unless asked for specific help or advice from them. I wish more people would adopt this thought process.

For me, the magic phrase is three-part...one, the appeal to authority, two, the acknowledgment of the advice, three, the reiteration that you're going to stick to your plan.

The appeal to authority: "My <Doctor/nutritionist> and I have worked out a plan that <he/she> thinks is best for me right now"

The acknowledgment of advice: "It's an interesting idea, though...next time I see <him/her> I'll bring up your thoughts and see what <he/she> says"

The reiteration that you'll stick to plan: "Until then, I'd like to stick to what is recommended".

Repeat as needed.

It's irritating, but I've found that it works wonders with people trying to "help". Normally mine isn't so long (I just say "That's an interesting idea, I'll take that up with my <expert>", but in a situation where your food is being prepared by them, I think you might have to be a bit more firm).

That sound exactly the way my visit to Florida went. I have family down there and every time I reached for some dark chocolate or ice cream all I heard was "Oh My! Casey is cheating today!" When I stayed for dinner all they spoke about was how healthy corn and other starchy veggies were for you. It seemed like I had to let them know how I lose the weight but when I did they ranted about how bad it was for me. :/

*hugs* I'm sorry to hear your situation. People shouldn't be so rude and mind their business. You're a big girl now and you can mind your own diet. Even if they think you're sabotaging yourself, it's your own right to!

They don't know if you have given yourself leave way for a treat or met a goal and thought you deserved it... or planned to exercise later to account for it. Grr.

Concern about this is exactly why I do not discuss weight loss with anyone except my husband. They can see it, but they don't ask me about it and I don't volunteer anything.

I think that I'm lucky living in an environment where people aren't quite so forward about prying into your personal life, but I also think it's harder to broach the topic if I never put it on the table. If I ever were asked, I'd probably smile and say, "oh, it's really boring, let's talk about something else". ;-)

i find i am the same way with my friends family. they all know im on a diet, and they think just because they were all skinny when they were younger, that they know how to loss weight.

like i always talk to his grandma about my diet, and all that i eat, and she just say, well i havent' eaten anything yet, do you think if you stopped eating so much you'd lose that weight faster?

I just grin and bear it, and i change the subject, and i try to avoid talking about my weight around them as much as possible.

It's horrible. They want me to do "their diet", in which I never lost weight, and only talks bad stuff about the only way I actually lost some (44 lbs). I'm on Atkins, btw.

Yep, I've gotten to where I don't tell as many people that I am actively on a "healthy lifestyle" plan. There are always those who want to give unsolicited advice, like "just do sit ups and crunches if you want to lose your stomach". If I had a dollar for every time I've heard THAT one...I'd be a rich woman by now...

And what also irritates me, I have a cousin who has previously lost weight (and regained) in a very unhealthy manner (let's call it the coke diet ). Since she's regained all the weight she lost, she calls me every week with a new unhealthy fad diet that she's going to try...recommending it to me. I try to tell her gently that I'm going to keep going about this "the old fashioned way" with diet and exercise. I might not lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks this way, but it's been 3 years and it seems to be working

My mother is the worst for this. On the one hand she doles out all kinds of advice (you should try x, y & z) then she puts out a plateful of baking and tells me that just one is ok. It's a little bi-polar, really. I kind of just wish she'd keep it to herself, but overall I manage to laugh it off for how silly it is.