I'm somewhat new here, I guess that is part of why I'm posting. I write introductory posts too often.

I think I've come to realize that patience is the number one thing missing from all my attempts to lose weight. Someone posted a poll about sabotaged new years resolutions, well, I've sabotaged every single weight loss effort I've ever attempted in less than a day or two. I've never even given myself a chance to yo-yo!

I think what it comes down to is my lack of patience. For me, weight loss will take a lot of focus, I have bad habits, and I like to eat! I feel like I have truck loads of focus, but the main problem is that weight loss is not something I can give my every waking thought to until it's compete. What I mean is, it's not like a project for work, where I can just sit down and give my all 100% until I'm done and everything's perfect. I want to lose this weight slowly and healthfully. Over a year, at least. Obviously there are other things that need to get done, and I want to continue enjoying my life!

When I start a plan to lose weight I research, draw up a nutritional plan, exercise plan, begin to count calories, read articles online, feel inspired, read read read! Then I begin and I count calories meticulously, exercise, drink water, feel enthusiastic, optimistic, read more, comment, log, journal, read, etc. Until I can't make it the number one priority (usually much sooner than later) and without that extreme focus and constant inspiration/motivation of my own actions and involvement I totally abandon everything. Right now I'm at that point again where I'm super determined and focused, but part of me knows myself too well and I feel like I'm just waiting to fail. I'm trying to get at what's behind this on/off switch.

I know a lot of people talk about all or nothing, and maybe that's it, but right now I'm feeling like it has a lot more to do with patience, or impatience, anyway. I know what I have to do, how to do it, I understand healthy time frames, and I don't want a quick fix by any means! I feel like I could write a book on how to lose weight and keep it off, truly. But how does one learn to find the patience to commit to weight loss while living a normal life, is I guess what I'm asking.

Sorry this was so long winded, and thank you in advance for your time and wisdom! Clearly I'm missing the crux of this whole process.

I've had to develop a dollop more patience this time around. I can remember going on diets underneath where I am today. It's part of why I figured 3FC could be helpful. Forcing myself to track my progress and understand how long it took to achieve, should help prevent the backsliding.

Crash dieting in the past did_ not__ work___

That's why I also tell myself I'm not "on a diet" any more. This is a lifestyle modification! No more living on microwave dinners. No more eating take-out "because I'm hungry right now".

Success must involve a new approach, if the old ones were not effective.

I so relate to this.

For me I just made the commitment to follow Weight Watchers, so that's what I do. Sometimes I'm enthusiastic and optimistic, sometimes I'm just doing it because I committed to it.

And when I get all jiggy because I want the weight off faster, I just say "settle down, keep on the plan. chill."

And then I do. It's all I can do.

I too can relate to this. I dare say many of us can! My attempts in the past have always failed and when I took a good hard look at why my answer was because of exactly this! I lacked patience! The scale never moved fast enough for the effort I felt like I was putting in and I wanted to just snap my fingers and wake up thin. Once I knew what the true problem was, I had to fix it! My solution was to make a commitment. I made that commitment to see this weight loss through for one year, no matter what. I can't believe what a difference that has made in my life! Suddenly it didn't matter what the scale did because I had to stay on plan for one year.

The second thing I did was make everything sustainable. I didn't put anything into my plan I couldn't see doing for life. Much of that has evolved over time. I started out small and simple. Gradually I added things, deleted things and tweaked my plan into something I can maintain. For exercise, that means doing a basic routine M-F, very, very routine and it must be done no matter what. If I want to add to that routine, I can! If it gets to be too much, I just back off to that basic must-do level of established routine. For my diet, I am not a journaler. My problem with journaling is that I may do it for a month, two months, but one day I WILL wake up, throw up my hands and say I can't do this any more! And then I'd be off completely. So I chose instead to eat six mini meals a day of equal caloric value so I never had to count higher than 200-300 at a time.

Finally, I thought about snapping my fingers and being thin just this morning! It feels like I have! When I first started I wanted so badly to just wake up thin already! Fast forward to today and I can't believe how fast this seems to have happened! It didn't seem that way at the start! I obsessed horribly! But over time, the obsession wanes and it just becomes life.

I think you've realized something really important. Everyone else has pretty much covered it, especially Eliana. It's so much easier to not give up when you change your mind set from being on a diet to making a lifestyle change. When people go on a diet they lose weight, but when they go off they usually gain it all (sometimes more) back. When you change your lifestyle you make it possible to achieve the weightloss forever. Good luck! =)

Yes, patience is soooo needed when it comes to weight loss. That has been one of my downfalls as well. I will start monitoring what I'm eating and how my workouts are going, and if I don't lose anything by the end of the week, I'm flustered and done with it all. It takes a lot of patience to have patience. I'm trying really hard this time around.

Have you ever considered weighing monthly or daily? The two extremes? I love daily weighing because I see the ups and downs every single day, and therefore they don't bother me. Take this past Saturday...I gained a pound from Saturday to Saturday. Had I ONLY weighed that one day, that's all I'd know. What I wouldn't have seen was that I actually lost three pounds through the week, then blipped up with water weight from a new exercise routine and from salty foods the night before. The water is quickly leaving again now.

Monthly...tried that before and it didn't work...not seeing the scale was an opportunity for me to overeat...bad!!

Daily...never thought about that! It's so true, though, that the body changes daily. I am starting to weigh-in every Friday, and what if Thursday I had lost 2 pounds from the week before, but on Friday's weigh-in it comes in as 0 pounds because of PMS, water weight, whatever. I might actually start doing this!

Patience is totally key for me. I've noticed as I get older that time seems to go by faster and faster ... so I use that, to tell myself that even if it takes me another year to get as trim and fit as I want to be, that year will go by in the blink of an eye, just as the last year has.

And, the time will pass anyhow, whether I am losing weight or not. So, I may as well be losing.

I've been at this for about 16 months so far, which is the longest I have ever sustained a plan of healthy eating and exercising. It gives me confidence that these new habits I've developed really are habits, and not just being on a diet, a temporary change.

Patience also helps me trust my plan and cope with daily fluctuations or with weeks (or more) when the loss isn't as big as I'd like it to be. The body is fickle and stubborn, but I know that if I trust my plan and give it time, the weight will come off in the long run, regardless of what the scale says today.

I am not a patient person by nature. But this process requires changing things about ourselves - not just how we eat, but how we live. And cultivating and developing patience has been possibly the single biggest change for me.

I think this is why many people dont stick with their diets because they see it takes patience. i mean i can really relate because we've all been down this road. lol.

I agree with patience being a really important factor.

Well, and I think the commitment to make this a priority is also what it requires. Yes, my life, even a year and half later after I started this particular weight loss journey requires me to think about what I'm eating, write it down, and keep track of it. It does require thinking about my exercise and doing it.

But it does become easier. At first, it seemed like that's ALL I did, above and beyond my work, my relationship, my friends, my family. But as it becomes a part of your life, so it's part of your routine and a part of your new thought patterns, it becomes easier and it becomes just a regular part of your life, like doing laundry or brushing your teeth.

It will never disappear, just like those little things like laundry and brushing teeth never disappear.

But you have to do it, even when you don't want to. You don't have to have the most perfect clean clothing either, but you do have to sort it, put in the machine, turn it on and put in some soap. Maybe even some softner too.

I do think you're still thinking it's all or nothing. Maybe you need to start slowly with one change that becomes a part of your life permanently, like not eating after 7 PM or drinking X amount of water or eating more vegetables.

What we are doing now, this "diet" is really about learning how we're going to eat. So, we have to practice, practice, practice, so that when we finally lose the weight, we can maintain it.

lol I feel like I could have written your post! I am great at getting focused. I build up my little foundation and pour everything into it. I read & study every piece of information. I visit so many websites and file all the information away. I take notes. I come up with a beautiful plan & schedule.

That energy you poured into all the planning is a great motivator. But it is impossible to keep that energy up every single day and you don't need to because once you have the plan and the info - you have it. You don't need to keep at it lol

So you build yourself up and then the day to day work and effort feels slow. You feel like you need all that first beginner energy still but you don't have it anymore.

I am trying to find a balance of my energy. Where I don't overdo it at some parts and then at the same time keep myself motivated daily.

I am finding that writing in a journal helps. Forcing myself to write every single day even if it is just a paragraph. It helps me keep my flow of ideas & energy fresh & flowing.

I also give myself a gold star everyday type of thing lmao. I have tiny daily goals. Right now my goal is to streak- to move every single day. So it doesn't matter if I don't feel like it. If I just need to dance around for 10 mins it counts and is better then nothing. And I keep it going and every day I mark it on my dry erase board. So 2 days in a row, then 3, 4 ,etc...

So no matter if I overeat or screw up I still can find something to be proud about and know I will do better tomorrow.


Also 2 quotes that are helping me alot are- It is the journey not the destination. Every day is important and matters ya know?

& also- If you trip over one stair, do you throw yourself down the whole flight?

Wow. I am so blown away with all the support and advice. Thank you! I can't tell you all how much it means to me. I've felt I have truly discovered what's stopping me from accomplishing this, and now to see that I'm not the only one thinking this way - it may seem obvious, but it's truly not.

I have read all your advice carefully and there is so much in there that I know I will return to to help me keep perspective. I think the thing that came up the most is that it's important to think of this process as a lifestyle change and not a temporary way of living. I can get behind that. I think maybe subconsciously I was avoiding seeing it like that and looking for a way to get it done and get back to normal life. Thing is, I don't want to gain this weight back, ever!

I've decided to commit to staying on plan, rather than losing a certain amount of weight by a certain time period as I normally would. I've decided to start out small: start a healthier lifestyle for 30 days. Which for me means, for now, eating smaller portions, chosing healthier foods, counting calories, logging my food (for now!) and doing some form of exercise everyday. If I can simplify like that and stick to it for even a week then I will be making massive progress. I'm going to make permanent changes to my lifestyle, the only truly diet related thinking will be the calorie counting/documenting.

I hope this helps! And I hope you see my name around this forum on a sustained basis.

Thank you all again. Your support has been invaluable these last couple of days!