I agree it is odd that she could have not noticed.

someone once said that unless we wish for someone to comment with the pounds we gain, we should not look to others to notice the pounds lost. Although this journey is a challenge to us, others do not always understand. nor can we expect them to. I try to remember this and it is hard. I enjoy hearing that someone has noticed that I have lost weight. However, I have to remind myself that I am making changes for myself.

Hang in there. You have to know you have done fantastic work to be down 72 lbs. Don't let anyone's words, or lack of them, make it feel less of an accomplishment.

It sounds weird, but some people who have been normal weight or slim their entire lives just do not notice other's weights like most people. Until I noticed that I had gained in my twenties, I did not notice other people's weights or fluctuations.

I distinctly remember, in high school, girls speaking of others or themselves losing weight, and I had no idea that anyone looked any different. Even now, I don't typically notice other people's weights.

Honestly, unless it was someone I was very, very close to (like 4 people off the top of my head) I wouldn't comment or compliment someone on their weightloss unless they brought it up. While I love having people notice when I lose, I have seen just as many people on here offended by an offhanded "wow! you look great!" that I've decided to keep my comments ot myself from here on out.

She may be in the same boat.

Originally Posted by milmin2043:
Thank you for the responses ladies. It made me feel better (and a little petty) for bringing it up.

To Nola-she calls herself "mommy". It's an odd situation. Their daughter still lives with them as well and they have told my granddaughter that she is her sister.

Ah, I see! Yeah, if she's being raised by her other grandma as her adoptive mother and with her birth-mother as her sister, then I see that she is "mommy" despite being "granny" genetically.

I don't think it's petty of you to feel a little put out about her not mentioning your weight loss. You've made a huge and overwhelmingly positive change in your life; of course you want to get some feedback about it from others. Sometimes other people are just oblivious or just don't get how meaningful and hard-fought weight loss really is. Not their fault and not yours--and neither side is petty for it.

How terrific it is for the kiddo that she has so much love surrounding her; for a lot of kids born into complex family situations, that isn't the case. She's a very lucky little girl to have such a loving family. :)

Count me in on the just being cautious bandwagon. In my life, there are people who didn't say a word to me about my weight loss, but who asked my husband if I were sick or some such. I appreciate the fact that they were trying to be sensitive and not wanting to say something that could possibly hurt my feelings. I'm inclined to give "Alice" the benefit of the doubt here. But I understand, it's hard not to let people's lack of commenting bother us, as it's so visual and good feedback from others is a good motivator to keep going! Either way, know that 72 pounds is awesome, and I bet you'll reach your goal before you know it!

Originally Posted by :
How terrific it is for the kiddo that she has so much love surrounding her; for a lot of kids born into complex family situations, that isn't the case. She's a very lucky little girl to have such a loving family.

So much this. :)

You are an awesome grandmother btw :)

Thank you again ladies. I know that this is truly petty, and that's why I love 3FC. I knew that I could come here and type out my rant, thus making me feel better, and not get a bunch of judgemental crapola about it.

When I look at it psychologically, I think the reason it has bothered me so much is because she has always been slim and athletic and not noticed, if you know what I mean?

Hubby is actually the one who brought it to my attention a few months ago when I had already lost more than 50 lbs. He always goes with me to pick up our little love and he wondered if Alice had ever said anything to me about my weight loss. I realized that she is the only person I see on a regular basis who hasn't said anything. Heck, even my neurosurgeon, who I hadn't seen in 18 months was shocked.

Funny thing, the other day my youngest son's friend was here (we've known him for a few years). My son was telling me that later in the car with his friend he was talking to him about stuff and said "doesn't my Mom look different?" His friend said "that was your Mom?....I swear I wasn't trying to be rude, I just didn't know who that was." That cracked me up.

I'm not an attention hound, honestly I'm not. Not that there's anything wrong with you if you are. A little attention is a great motivator for continued weight loss. So, that's why I've been thrown off about why this insignificant little problem keeps sneaking back into my thoughts.

Thank you also for the comments about my granddaughter and our situation. It was a difficult situation and my son is not in her life (and unfortunately, not ours much either), but our gd is the love of our lives and we think she's as close to perfect as anyone could ever be. :)

Thanks again all of you lovely chickies!

I agree with mandalinn, she may be fearful of saying the wrong thing. I never comment on someones weight loss unless I am positive they have been on a diet. I , also never ask anyone if they are pregnant, unless they are on the way to the delivery room, even then I want to see them come out with a baby.

PS ,Jack Nicholson was already a big movie star when he learned his "Sister" was actually his "Mother" and his"Mother" was actually his "Grandmother".

First of all, congratulations on your weight loss!

Honestly, at first blush I'd probably read into her actions as well. She could have weird insecurities about weight, being perfect and the like. Or she could be unobservant, or like others have said not wanting to comment for fear your "secret" is chemotherapy! That would be awfully awkward!

I would give her the benefit of the doubt, that's the easiest thing to do. Assume she has nothing but the best of sentiments towards you until she proves otherwise. That way, you're not prone to making any snarky comments (which would only make YOU look bad).

Are you "friends" with her on facebook? I'd probably post a "skinny" photo of myself as my main profile pic, and then leave a note on the photo she posted (something benign, like "what a happy day this was for me!") so when people see the bad picture they will immediately see your "skinny" photo in the comments. LOL.

That's funny what your son's friend said. I hope my appearance doesn't change significantly, but that would be kind of great to lose so much that someone doesn't even recognize me. ;)

:whoo: WHEW! :whoo: MILMIN :hug:

Now aren't you glad you got that off your chest!? :yes:
Sure, we all want to be noticed for the weight losses, the stop-smoking, the good deeds we do....not always noticed by others...BUT...that doesn't take away from the fact that the "deeds" were done :no:

Here is what is important ~

#1 ~ You have time with your granddaughter :)

#2 ~ They call you and acknowledge "granny" and not Mrs. So & SO

#3 ~ You lost the weight :carrot:

:cheer3: Rock on GRANNY rock on! :cheer3:

Maybe it's time to take a bunch of new photos with your granddaughter and post them on facebook :)

Also- can you untag yourself from the photos?

Actually I am Facebook friends with her. She knows that I have been losing weight with sensible diet and exercise as many other people have asked me about my weightloss on FB.

This is a small resolution for me, to let this go and not let it take up any more room in my thoughts.

She's jealous!